# Bow down before your future despotic overlord! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 17, 2003, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540 "2003-06-17T20:41:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540/1 "2003-06-17T20:41:51Z")
Yes, I Rand Mcnally, will rule the world. First I will establish my own country, which will call The People Democratic Republic of Happiness (sounds a bit better than The Despotic Police State of Tyrannical Oppresion). Once I consilodate (sp?) my own power, I will then turn my attention to the outside world. All who fight me will be defeated. BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!!! My mother is starting to worry because I planned everything out. ---
**Author:** ![ace22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@ace22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ace22)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540/2 "2003-06-17T20:46:50Z")
No. If you can’t spell consolidate, you don’t deserve the world. Unless you promise me the following countries: Australia, Scotland (as a separate entity from England), and Japan. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540/3 "2003-06-17T20:48:51Z")
I’m not surprised. To tell the truth, I and my friends discovered years ago that the true rulers of the world are hidden from our view. Just look at Atlantis. Oh, yes; it’s really there. The thing is, Rand McNally, in it’s bid for power, is hiding it on all the maps so the Splugorth don’t get any play. Makes sense, eh? ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540/4 "2003-06-17T20:59:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ace22 \* > \*\*No. If you can’t spell consolidate, you don’t deserve the world. > Unless you promise me the following countries: Australia, Scotland (as a separate entity from England), and Japan. \*\* I will grant you said countries, only if you pledge your loyalty to me. In fact, you can have England also. On the same note, all who join my cause will be spared from the purging, hopefully, there will be A LOT of purging. Of course it won’t be called purging, it’ll be called the happy no death thing. How can anyone dislike the happy no death thing? ---
**Author:** ![BadBaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71c47a/32.png) [@BadBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BadBaby)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540/5 "2003-06-17T21:06:53Z")
> [@](#): > > BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!!! Hunh unh! I remember what happened the _last_ time I bowed down in front of a future despotic overlord. I at least want France and Italy out of a good bowing down. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540/6 "2003-06-17T21:13:38Z")
Oooh! Oooh! Ooooh! Can I help purge? I’ve always thought that I could make a good purger type guy thing someday! I could be like the supreme purger guy! Maybe you could give us all Muammar Kadaffi like titles, like “Supreme overlord of the world” would be just a lowly secretary. Anyone higher than her gets the _really_ fancy titles. ---
**Author:** ![ace22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@ace22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ace22)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540/7 "2003-06-17T21:17:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RandMcnally \* > **I will grant you said countries, only if you pledge your loyalty to me. In fact, you can have England also.** Good enough. > [@](#): > > \*\*On the same note, all who join my cause will be spared from the purging, hopefully, there will be A LOT of purging. Of course it won’t be called purging, it’ll be called the happy no death thing. How can anyone dislike the happy no death thing? \*\* You’ll have to hire the goths to make up your army of the damned, since I don’t think they’ll be into anything happy or deathless. ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540/8 "2003-06-17T21:26:35Z")
Oooh, ooh, can I get a country? Pretty pretty please? I’d be real good to it, and remember to feed it and walk it every day, **Rand** , pleeeeeaaase? ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540/9 "2003-06-17T21:35:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NurseCarmen \* > \*\*Oooh! Oooh! Ooooh! Can I help purge? I’ve always thought that I could make a good purger type guy thing someday! I could be like the supreme purger guy! Your tittle will be “The super duper no purge guy.” I think that should suit you. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540/10 "2003-06-17T21:40:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Searching For Truth \* > \*\*Oooh, ooh, can I get a country? Pretty pretty please? I’d be real good to it, and remember to feed it and walk it every day, **Rand** , pleeeeeaaase? \*\* Now **Searching For Truth** , remember last time you had a country? You said you’d feed it, walk it, and play with it everday, but after a week, I was the one that had to do all those things. Have you even noticed that you know longer have that country? You didn’t even know it was gone. But because I’m fair, I’ll let you have a territory, and if you can show me that you are responsible, maybe we’ll talk about getting you a country. ---
**Author:** ![FranticMad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c68b51/32.png) [@FranticMad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FranticMad)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540/11 "2003-06-17T21:42:43Z")
That’s the best offer I’ve had all day. Not that I’ve had any other offers today. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540/12 "2003-06-17T21:43:25Z")
Personally, I welcome our new atlas overlords. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540/13 "2003-06-17T21:46:49Z")
**Eutychus** , which area of the world would you like? If you want, you can work in my government. You can be "The Minister of Propoganda"er…I mean “Minister of Truth.” ---
**Author:** ![modro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@modro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/modro)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540/14 "2003-06-17T22:16:16Z")
I like the idea of purging, ever since we became “civilized”, we’ve been seriously lacking in purgings of the natural kind. You wouldn’t even have to do anything. I’d reccomend revocation of a lot of laws designed to protect people from themselves. It’s a very passive purging, and you don’t look all evil for it. “Oh, he didn’t wear his motorcycle helmet… poor guy.” Take out seatbelt laws, pedestrian crosswalk signals, and give everyone a cell phone and the undesireables will weed themselves out. And stop child-proofing stuff. It’s better for us on the whole if the kid who sticks his tongue in the electric sockets can’t reproduce. The benefit, is that you get your mass purging, and you are still the “Overwhelmingly Elected Happy Fun Presidential Guy.” Not a single sign of holocaust or anything to dampen your overwhelmingly positive image. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540/15 "2003-06-17T22:23:14Z")
**modro** , you are a genius! You will either be my second in command, or be purged. I can’t decide which. ---
**Author:** ![modro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@modro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/modro)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540/16 "2003-06-17T22:31:30Z")
Well, I hope not purged, since I would really like the opportunity to put my ideas into practice. I’m not a particularly power-hungry, so just give me a couple of hundred acres in the middle of nowhere with a nice house, and all the essentialls for life, and I’d happily help you out with the evil, as long as it is a transparent evil, to keep your public image up. Plus a cool title. I gotta have a cool title. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540/17 "2003-06-17T22:31:49Z")
On further reflection, I will need a more direct method of purging, to help rid the world of the undesirables. Undesirables being anyone who questions my rule. ---
**Author:** ![modro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@modro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/modro)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540/18 "2003-06-17T22:33:25Z")
a particularly power hungry person\* Proofreading is my friend. ---
**Author:** ![modro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@modro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/modro)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540/19 "2003-06-17T22:34:53Z")
Oh, you just have your agents of evil distrubute tainted water at their anti Rand Mcnally-Rallies. Just make sure the poison works slow. ---
**Author:** ![Cooler\_of\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@Cooler\_of\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cooler_of_Death)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540/20 "2003-06-17T22:37:45Z")
_sigh_ It’s just like deja vu all over again… Perhaps I should have tried to give away countries as a senseless gimmick to attract followers. I just thought it was wiser to be feared, rather than loved. I suppose only time will tell. I wish you luck, mister roadmap publishing man trying to take over the world. Just make sure mommy doesn’t ground you and take away your dessert for staying up too late coming up with all these plans. Afterall, it would be such a shame if you should fail. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-down-before-your-future-despotic-overlord/182540.md?page=2)