# Boy Attacks Easter Bunny
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [March 25, 2005, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279 "2005-03-25T23:39:05Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2005, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279/1 "2005-03-25T23:39:05Z")
> [@](#):
>
> BAY CITY, Mich. - The Easter Bunny is hopping mad. Bryan Johnson, who portrays the furry character at the Bay City Mall, says he was pummeled in an unprovoked attack on the job. Police say the attacker was a 12-year-old boy who sat on Johnson’s lap the day before the March 18 incident.
>
> Johnson, 18, suffered a bloody nose. He kept his cool during the attack, deeming it inappropriate for the Easter Bunny to fight back. But he’s not willing to forgive and forget.
[http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050325/ap\_on\_fe\_st/easter\_bunny\_attacked](http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050325/ap_on_fe_st/easter_bunny_attacked)
Isn’t 12 a little old to be sitting on the “Easter Bunny’s” lap?
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### Author:  [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2005, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279/2 "2005-03-25T23:42:15Z")
“This is for Brodie!”
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### Author:  [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2005, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279/3 "2005-03-26T00:57:41Z")
I have never heard of sitting in the Easter Bunny’s lap.
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### Author:  [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2005, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279/4 "2005-03-26T01:11:18Z")
It’s probably one of those shopping mall photo thingies.
That said, 12 years is a bit old for that…
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### Author:  [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2005, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279/5 "2005-03-26T01:13:46Z")
Man, I was totally gonna say that!
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### Author:  [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2005, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279/6 "2005-03-26T01:14:50Z")
My previous post refers, of course, to Enginerd’s line.
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### Author:  [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2005, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279/7 "2005-03-26T01:17:57Z")
Am I the only one who really wishes that the story read “Child attacks easter bunny, gets his ass kicked.”
?
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### Author:  [@Khan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khan)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2005, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279/8 "2005-03-26T01:22:55Z")
I’m betting the kid’s friends put him up to it. I wonder if it was a bet or a dare?
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### Author:  [@The\_Hook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hook)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2005, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279/9 "2005-03-26T03:57:42Z")
Am I the only one who read this bit:
> [@](#):
>
> …12-year-old boy who sat on Johnson’s lap…
in a very unforgiving way? :smack:
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2005, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279/10 "2005-03-26T04:10:14Z")
> [@Khan](#):
>
> I’m betting the kid’s friends put him up to it. I wonder if it was a bet or a dare?
Yep. I did something similiar when I was on my 8th grade field trip to an amusement park. A friend dared me to go up to a puppet show and “punch” said puppet. We did so and ran like hell.
The next time we went by, there was a security guard watching.
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### Author:  [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2005, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279/11 "2005-03-26T15:46:47Z")
This is so dumb. Why would anyone want to smash the Easter Bunny?
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### Author:  [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2005, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279/12 "2005-03-26T16:56:47Z")
> [@SteveG1](#):
>
> This is so dumb. Why would anyone want to smash the Easter Bunny?
Have you _seen_ the wise-ass look on the face of those mall Easter bunnies? I, for one, take my hostility towards them out on their chocolate bretheren.
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### Author:  [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2005, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279/13 "2005-03-26T17:28:09Z")
> [@](#):
>
> The Easter Bunny is hopping mad.
Reporter: Mr. Bunny! Mr. Bunny! Mr. Bunny, would you say that you are “hopping mad?”
Easter Bunny: Well, yes, I suppose.
Reporter: Say it.
Easter Bunny (dejected): I’m hopping mad.
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### Author:  [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2005, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279/14 "2005-03-26T17:29:42Z")
_spittake_
(One of my friends is outside the grocery store I work at today, dressed up in the Easter Bunny suit… should I go warn him now? :()
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### Author:  [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2005, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279/15 "2005-03-26T19:36:27Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#):
>
> Have you _seen_ the wise-ass look on the face of those mall Easter bunnies? I, for one, take my hostility towards them out on their chocolate bretheren.
[Homer Simpson] mmmmmmm bunnies [/Homer Simpson]
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### Author:  [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279/16 "2005-03-26T19:43:28Z")
Unless the kid has a habit of beating up cartoon characters – he seemed happy one day, then started punching the next. Maybe he experienced something at home that set him off?
Bet child services is investigating that aspect.
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### Author:  [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2005, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279/17 "2005-03-26T19:49:14Z")
I just got the image of his parents dressing up as giant bunnies and then beating him. It shouldn’t be funny…
I am so going to hell. Extra-hell.
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### Author:  [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2005, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279/18 "2005-03-26T19:53:19Z")
Hey, it could be worse. At least he wasn’t [whipped in church](http://www.post-gazette.com/breaking/20040407bunnyp4.asp)!
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2005, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279/19 "2005-03-26T20:01:34Z")
> [@Ice Wolf](#):
>
> Unless the kid has a habit of beating up cartoon characters – he seemed happy one day, then started punching the next. Maybe he experienced something at home that set him off?
>
> Bet child services is investigating that aspect.
Eh…probably not. In this case, the kid was twelve, and at that age, stupid stunts like beating up people dressed in animal costumes seems like one of the stupid things they’d do.
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### Author:  [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)
#### Post date: [March 26, 2005, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-attacks-easter-bunny/296279/20 "2005-03-26T20:50:20Z")
[Elmer Fudd] Psssst hey kid. Yeah you. Ten bucks if you slug the wabbit [/Elmer Fudd]
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