# Boy, do I feel like an idiot **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 16, 2017, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595 "2017-12-16T01:11:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2017, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595/61 "2017-12-17T19:10:02Z")
> [@Napier](#): > > My tractor broke down. The engine ran but no power was going to the wheels. I had had a clutch spline strip once before and was afraid it was that again. I had a local tractor repair shop trailer it to their facility, where they diagnosed that the high/low range lever was in the middle position, Neutral. They said they’d only charge me $100 for moving it twice and looking it over, and I asked how much extra to not tell any of my neighbors. > snip Heh, when I was in AIT to be a mechanic in the army, one of the first things they taught us was that when the Colonel’s driver wakes you up in the middle of the night, out in the field, to venture out into the sub-freezing temperatures of winter, so you can fix the Colonel’s Humvee that won’t start, first make sure the transmission is in neutral, then check the fuel level. For me, it was trying to fix a steering problem in an M113 APC. The driver got it into the shop bay. I had the engine compartment open, looking things over etc. Ah Ha, says I, your linkages are out of adjustment because your steering differential is crooked. I hooked up the overhead lift to support the differential in the correct position while I disconnected everything so I can inspect mounting points and hardware for damage and correct the adjustments in all the linkages as well as identify and correct the cause of the crooked positioning of the part. Shouldn’t have taken more than a couple of hours max, if I worked slowly. Took me all damn day fiddling with it and my motor sergeant pointing out that I was using the very same (wrong size) mounting pin that I had identified as the problem and removed earlier that day. I had set it aside, with the intention of replacing it with the correct part, but somehow managed to never do that step. In my defense though, that particular mounting point was underneath the differential, where all work was done by feel. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2017, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595/62 "2017-12-17T19:38:51Z")
> [@melondeca](#): > > A couple years ago it occurred to me that I did not have to use my teeth to remove the little plastic safety cap on my deodorant. I never realized you could twist up the deodorant. I’m 39 years old. > [@bobkitty](#): > > :eek: > > I’m 44 and didn’t realize this until I read your post. :smack: Sigh. Me, too. Another used car moment. My son borrowed my van and left the seat warmer on - a seat warmer that I didn’t know my car had. Do you know the first worry that passed through my mind when I first noticed the spreading heat? ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2017, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595/63 "2017-12-17T20:40:18Z")
> [@bobkitty](#): > > :eek: > > I’m 44 and didn’t realize this until I read your post. :smack: Explain please? Do you mean twisting up the deodorant to push off the plastic cap? Or did you not know the deodorant twisted up at all? ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2017, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595/64 "2017-12-17T20:48:43Z")
The former. I knew the deodorant twisted up, just not that by doing so you could push the plastic safety cover off. It seemed to me that the deodorant was too soft to manage such a thing, so I never bothered to try. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2017, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595/65 "2017-12-17T20:51:46Z")
when 3d cards were new in pcs I bought one with a with a new monitor…hooked it up but I had to disable the original on board graphics … now there were two separate ports one for the normal and one down at the bottom… Now the monitor the monitor winked out and it was under warranty and as a loaner they gave me some monochrome EGA thing… So I hooked it up and it still looked messed up and I couldn’t use it for much but e-mail…I suffered through this for two weeks and got the old one fixed exchanged it and took it home … turned on and looked messed up… called them back and brought it back in … they took ot back and a day or so later called me saying it might be my pc … bring it in and they’d take a look … well I figured id try it one more time and accidently hooked the ega thing to the 3d card port and voilà the damn thing worked …sure it was yellow but it ididnt flip around and look like the tv from the outer limits . …when I told my room mate he said “oh that’s right we disabled the onboard graphics …” I picked up the monitor and was playing everquest in an half hour… ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2017, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595/66 "2017-12-18T01:34:35Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I actually paid money for 2 Siamese kittens, 5 years ago. My life has never been the same. Oh, right there with you. ‘‘Let’s get a kitten,’’ I said. ‘‘The older cat needs someone to play with,’’ I said. ‘‘Our pet expenses will only cost twice as much.’’ Then, the clincher. ‘‘Let’s name him Abomination. It will be ironic!’’ ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2017, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595/67 "2017-12-18T01:50:56Z")
My Siamese have cutesy names, Bear-bear and Meeko, but they are decidedly not cute and sweet. They ARE beautiful, and you better tell them that at least a dozen times a day. They are demanding and loud, bossy, and oh so aloof. And you better not forget treat time. ---
**Author:** ![melondeca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@melondeca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melondeca)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2017, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595/68 "2017-12-18T03:29:20Z")
> [@bobkitty](#): > > :eek: > > I’m 44 and didn’t realize this until I read your post. :smack: I can’t WAIT to tell my husband that I’m not the only one. ---
**Author:** ![Toledo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/34f0e0/32.png) [@Toledo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toledo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2017, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595/69 "2017-12-18T05:29:58Z")
Sigh. I might have told this before, but here goes: Driving from Toledo to Lawrence, KS to visit my then fiance, later my wife. Somewhere around Effingham, IL I noticed the gas was low. Since several interstates cross there, I figured there was gas. Saw a lollipop sign for a station I had a credit card for, and hit the exit ramp. The car (68 Impala Wagon) coughed once and died, about halfway up the ramp. Oh, well. Walked up the ramp, bought a gallon of gas, paid the usual outlandish can deposit and headed back for the car. As I approached, a Highway Patrolman drove up behind the car, roof lights on. I sheepishly held up the can, the officer smiled and as I poured the gallon in we chatted a bit. He stuck around to make sure that was the problem. I started the car, it stuttered a bit, then ran just fine. Officer waved, left, and I picked up the can and walked back up the ramp to return the empty can and get my deposit back. As I returned the can, the attendant asked me where the car was, at which point it hit me. The car was still halfway up the ramp, quietly idling. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2017, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595/70 "2017-12-18T05:42:58Z")
I have a third one. Sorry to hijack thread but seems I’m _just that_ dumb: Went swimming with my gf, and she was wearing swimming-suitable headphones / mp3 player. Seemed like a really cool thing to make swimming more enjoyable, so I later went online to buy my own. I found a model that I liked, but they were a bit pricey, so I shopped around several sites and eventually found them for a good price. Anyway, the next time I go swimming with my gf, I turn on the headphones, dive into the water and _Bzzt!_: the sound cuts out. Later I discover that the headphones I bought were not in fact the same model as the swimming-suitable ones (though they look identical). I got about 3 seconds of use from them before frying them. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![chizzuk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@chizzuk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chizzuk)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2017, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595/71 "2017-12-18T06:09:03Z")
I once went to pick up some sandwiches for lunch and then sat in my car in the parking lot panicking because it would not shift into reverse. I could not get out of the parking space. I frantically looked about for clues as to what might be wrong and tried to remember where my AAA card was. As I was fumbling for my cell phone, I saw the keys on my lap. The car would not shift out of reverse because it was not on, since I had not actually put the keys in the ignition. Somehow my brain had heard the noise of the BMW parked next to me starting up, ascribed that to my own car, and skipped that whole step. That was actually the second time I’ve done that, too. The first time was in the garage leaving for work, on a morning where I’d already had to return to the house once after I’d walked out to the car barefoot. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2017, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595/72 "2017-12-18T06:50:05Z")
How many times have you awakened, got up, got dressed went to work or school only find out it was Saturday? I don’t admit to anything. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2017, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595/73 "2017-12-18T14:47:52Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > How many times have you awakened, got up, got dressed went to work or school only find out it was Saturday? I don’t admit to anything. When I was eight or so I got up, got dressed, and told my parents (and the neighbours, who were visiting) that I was off to school. They looked at me as if I were nuts. I’d come home from school and was tired, so I took a nap. I woke up at 6 PM. At the time of the year, 6 PM and 6 AM had the same amount of sun. (Didn’t notice the angle.) So I thought I’d slept all night and had to hurry so that I wouldn’t be late for school. ---
**Author:** ![maisoui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@maisoui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maisoui)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2017, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595/74 "2017-12-18T15:04:47Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > This reminds me of a story I’ve probably told before. > > When I was a small child we lived in Japan. At the time, dad wore a Vulcain ‘Cricket’ watch, a model that was known for its alarm. This is before watches had batteries, so the alarm was not a ‘beep-beep, beep-beep’. No, it was a clattering buzz. It sounded exactly [like this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yqv_KWDnng) in fact. > > So dad’s up on a stool, fixing some wiring in the ceiling light fixture. _Just_ as he finished the job, his alarm went off. He thought he was being electrocuted and fell off of the stool. 😛 Okay, I’ll confess. I went to the link and I could see that the minute hand hadn’t hit the 12 yet so of course there would be no sound, but then it DID hit the 12 and still no sound… until I picked up the headphones that are plugged into the computer and put them on my ears. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2017, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595/75 "2017-12-18T15:16:39Z")
Ah yes. My med alarm stopped working, so I ordered a new one just like it. Only to find… The new one didn’t work either. Turns out they both had the same problem. In order to make them work, I had to _turn on the alarm._ That little bit of stupidity cost me $40. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2017, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595/76 "2017-12-18T15:33:22Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > When I was eight or so I got up, got dressed, and told my parents (and the neighbours, who were visiting) that I was off to school. They looked at me as if I were nuts. > > I’d come home from school and was tired, so I took a nap. I woke up at 6 PM. At the time of the year, 6 PM and 6 AM had the same amount of sun. (Didn’t notice the angle.) So I thought I’d slept all night and had to hurry so that I wouldn’t be late for school. This reminds me of the time, when I was 7 years old, that I missed the schoolbus one blustery winter morning. My Mom was at work, so I thought it would be a brilliant idea to ride my bike to school. Never mind that my house sat on a major highway, or that it was winter, or that I really had no idea how to get to school. I jumped on that bike and cruised down the freeway as the snow got heavier and heavier. I ended up cold and lost in some quiet neighborhood. Eventually I knocked on a random door and a strange man let me into his house to call my Mom. When I couldn’t get in touch with my mother, he offered to give me a ride to school. He then stuffed my bike into his trunk, jumped in the car, and… took me to school. I got there around noon. For some reason the school did not immediately call my mother. She didn’t find out until she picked me up from the sitter that night. You shoulda seen the look on her face when that story broke. “But Mom! I checked the air in my tires before I left!” “But Mom! He wasn’t really a stranger because he was really nice!” I still have a “problem” with trusting people too easily, though I’m now less inclined to ride my bike in the winter. ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2017, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595/77 "2017-12-18T16:20:23Z")
I drive a standard-cab pickup (no back seat). There is a space behind the seats for storage but I didn’t use it much because it was such a hassle to access. I owned the truck for ten months before my brother-in-law showed me there is an “access panel” on either side. They open like suicide doors with the hinges in back. The handles to open them are visible only then the passenger doors are open. In my defense, the access panels are never mentioned in the owner’s manual, as far as I can tell. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2017, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595/78 "2017-12-18T16:41:34Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > When you’re replacing a glass shower door, when they break, it really is a spectacular CRASH! I was on the first floor of my house when I hear something upstairs. Basically a loud WHUMP. Huh. Dogs must be fooling around. Later found the entire bathroom floor covered with the broken shower door. Don’t know what happened. Glad I wasn’t taking a shower at the time. ---
**Author:** ![icantdraw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3ec8ea/32.png) [@icantdraw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/icantdraw)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2017, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595/79 "2017-12-18T17:20:18Z")
I had some trouble with my motorcycle (a 1993 HD Heritage Softail). Wouldn’t run. Borrowed a trailer and hauled it to the mechanic. Left it with him to get it going for me. He called later in the day, informing me that he had put gas in for me. Thanks for that. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2017, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595/80 "2017-12-18T17:35:49Z")
One from my mother-in-law: The driver’s side door handle, the one inside the car, broke. So my wife was telling me about her struggle: “She can get into the car just fine, because the outside handle still works, but when she gets to work she has to slide all the way over to the passenger seat to get out, and it’s just killing her back.” I said, “Why doesn’t she just roll down the window and reach outside and open the car that way?” There was a short pause. Then, “Oh my god, don’t tell her that!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boy-do-i-feel-like-an-idiot/804595.md?page=5)