# "Boys Don't Cry" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 2, 2005, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653 "2005-01-02T04:36:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653/41 "2005-01-03T17:32:33Z")
Good point, **Kalhoun**. But the focus on the family and community around Robert offsets the medical malpractice. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653/42 "2005-01-03T18:08:55Z")
> [@Lochdale](#): > > Great movie but does anyone have a link that details the rl situation it is based upon? I’d like to know the full story before I take the movie as gospel. Court TV’s Crime Library covers the incident as well. [John Lotter.](http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious_murders/not_guilty/brandon/1.html) ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653/43 "2005-01-03T23:40:43Z")
> [@even sven](#): > > I wish they could make a movie about a transgendered character where they don’t kill them off in the end. Oh, have I got a twist for you. How about a movie where the _ **TG** _ is the killer in the end? Doesn’t anyone remember [_The Crying Game_](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104036/)? ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653/44 "2005-01-04T02:24:00Z")
Killer is so harsh. I think it was self defense and the character shouldn’t be considered a killer. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653/45 "2005-01-04T03:00:05Z")
> [@Homebrew](#): > > Killer is so harsh. I think it was self defense and the character shouldn’t be considered a killer. Killer, yes; murderer, no. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653/46 "2005-01-04T03:23:00Z")
Self-defense? Hell, it was _revenge_, baby. Ze was furious at Miranda Richardson for her kidnap plot having caused the death of zer lover (Forrest Whitaker). “She seduced him with that sexy little ass?” :mad: _Bang! Bang!_ ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653/47 "2005-01-04T03:27:12Z")
Self-defense? Hell, it was _revenge_, baby. Dil was furious at Miranda Richardson for her kidnap plot having caused the death of hir lover (Forrest Whitaker). “She seduced him with that sexy little ass?” :mad: _Bang! Bang!_ I’ve been thinking a lot more about _The Crying Game_ lately. I saw it when it first came out, but didn’t “get” it back then. That was before TG was widely understood. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653/48 "2005-01-04T04:10:09Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > Self-defense? Hell, it was _revenge_, baby. Dil was furious at Miranda Richardson for her kidnap plot having caused the death of hir lover (Forrest Whitaker). > > “She seduced him with that sexy little ass?” :mad: _Bang! Bang!_ > > I’ve been thinking a lot more about _The Crying Game_ lately. I saw it when it first came out, but didn’t “get” it back then. That was before TG was widely understood. I like the semi-duplicate posts with the pronoun switch! 🙂 But wait a minute… Dill? Didn’t we do a “To Kill a Mockingbird” parody with approximately that plot last year? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653/49 "2005-01-04T04:18:18Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > Hilary Swank is awesome. She doesn’t make many movies, but when she does, she really becomes the role. I’m looking forward to Million Dollar Baby that’s coming out soon. Clint Eastwood directed it and is also starring. It’s about a female boxer, but that’s about all I know. Swank seems to like roles where she has to get all butched out. It’s interesting because when she’s on the red carpet, she’s gorgeous. I agree that Hilary Swank is awesome, but I saw the trailer for _Million Dollar Baby_ today, and it seems so mind-numbingly close to _The Next Karate Kid_ (which starred…Hilary Swank!), so rife with “you’re a girl, you can’t possibly fight!” dialogue right out of the '80s, that I wanted to scream. 'Cept in this one, Mr. Miyagi - sorry, Clint Eastwood - has an estranged daughter who may or may not remind him a lot of Hilary Swank, or possibly even \*be \*Hilary Swank. _yawn_ [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653/50 "2005-01-04T04:21:38Z")
> [@iampunha](#): > > Killer, yes; murderer, no. To me killer has a connotation that the person planned and intentionally killed. Yes, technically, Dill is a person who has killed someone; but killer imples more of an intention rather than as an act of self-preservation. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653/51 "2005-01-04T04:22:54Z")
Where’d that extra “l” appended to “Dil” come from? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653/52 "2005-01-04T06:28:09Z")
> [@Homebrew](#): > > Where’d that extra “l” appended to “Dil” come from? Heh, Stephen Rea was asking that same question… ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653/53 "2005-01-04T13:20:19Z")
_sniff_ That was priceless, **Otto**. Laugh out loud. Literally. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653/54 "2005-01-04T13:37:32Z")
> [@An Arky](#): > > …as bad, politically incorrect and distasteful as it may seem, there _is_ such a thing as “asking for it”. There are some people who do that, whether they can help it or not or whether they realize it or not. I feel awful for them and I wish it could be different. But if you drop a piece of candy on the sidewalk, the ants _will_ come get it. > > It sucks that the ones in the wrong in these cases aren’t the ones who pay the price instead of the ones who committed the crime of being different. Yeah, and I suppose a woman wearing a short skirt and high heels who walks by a group of men at a construction site is “asking for it” if they decide to gang rape her. :rolleyes: Brandon was from rural Nebraska, he was young, a little naive, poor and had a rough childhood. He wanted to get out and he wanted to be himself. He fell in love and made a poor decision in friends. You can’t blame him for the ignorant actions of his slack-jawed, hee-haw yokel so-called “friends.” ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653/55 "2005-01-04T13:58:32Z")
> [@The Chao Goes Mu](#): > > Yeah, and I suppose a woman wearing a short skirt and high heels who walks by a group of men at a construction site is “asking for it” if they decide to gang rape her. :rolleyes: > > Brandon was from rural Nebraska, he was young, a little naive, poor and had a rough childhood. He wanted to get out and he wanted to be himself. He fell in love and made a poor decision in friends. You can’t blame him for the ignorant actions of his slack-jawed, hee-haw yokel so-called “friends.” Nope, I was saying that’s the way it _is_, and not condoning it in any way. I thought I used enough qualifiers for you to get it. Apparently not. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653/56 "2005-01-04T14:12:43Z")
It’s mentalities like yours which contribute to the problem. “What’s going on?” “Oh, you know \ are \ with/to \ again, that’s just the way of the world. I don’t condone it, but that’s just the way it _is_.” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653/57 "2005-01-04T14:26:11Z")
> [@The Chao Goes Mu](#): > > Yeah, and I suppose a woman wearing a short skirt and high heels who walks by a group of men at a construction site is “asking for it” if they decide to gang rape her. :rolleyes: > > Brandon was from rural Nebraska, he was young, a little naive, poor and had a rough childhood. He wanted to get out and he wanted to be himself. He fell in love and made a poor decision in friends. You can’t blame him for the ignorant actions of his slack-jawed, hee-haw yokel so-called “friends.” Add to this that Brandon “wanted to be a man” in the sense that a young boy looks to the image of the adult males around him for examples of what “manliness” entails – he was attempting to “fit in with them” as one of them. Swank’s performance bringing this attitude out was one of the finest bits of acting I’ve ever seen. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653/58 "2005-01-04T15:02:13Z")
> [@Zabali\_Clawbane](#): > > It’s mentalities like yours which contribute to the problem. “What’s going on?” “Oh, you know \ are \ with/to \ again, that’s just the way of the world. I don’t condone it, but that’s just the way it _is_.” :rolleyes: :rolleyes: yourself. I’m very frustrated and angry at these situations, too. Saying “that’s the way of the world” has NOTHING to do with exacerbating the problem. It is an expression of resignation at the fact that no matter what you or I do, these horrible people will keep doing what they do. Hopefully, we can help a little, but we’re not going to make the human race stop producing violent, hateful people. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653/59 "2005-01-04T15:55:39Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > Swank seems to like roles where she has to get all butched out. It’s interesting because when she’s on the red carpet, she’s gorgeous. Meant to touch on this earlier. I have read in a number of places (usually attributed to “industry insiders” and the like) that Swank was repeatedly told by pretty much everyone around her that she had to go uber-feminine in the wake of BDC to avoid being typecast and/or thought of as a “dyke.” Her next starring role was “The Affair of the Necklace,” in which she wore enormous frilly period dresses and mounds of hair and that was probably no accident. And two slight hijacks, I never would have imagined that back when Swank was a semi-regular on 90210 that she’d go on to win an Oscar, and did anyone else think that in character as Brandon Teena Swank was a dead ringer for Matt Damon? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2005, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653/60 "2005-01-04T16:42:55Z")
> [@An Arky](#): > > Nope, I was saying that’s the way it _is_, and not condoning it in any way. I thought I used enough qualifiers for you to get it. Apparently not. I understood the qualifier. I am just disagreeing with you. Perhaps the :rolleyes: was a bit over the top. Nonetheless, we disagree. But this isn’t Great Debates or the Pit so we should leave it at that. I thought BDC was a great movie. Swank did a wonderful job but it was too damn disturbing, so I have no desire to see it again. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-dont-cry/282653.md?page=4)