# Boys we have loved

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-we-have-loved/115711>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [June 24, 2002, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-we-have-loved/115711 "2002-06-24T14:11:01Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 15\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-we-have-loved/115711/21 "2002-06-25T05:58:34Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \*  
> \*\*Matt. Total bishie, neurotic and psycho-smart \*\*

What is a “bishie”?

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**Author:** ![grendel72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/91b2a8/32.png) [@grendel72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grendel72)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-we-have-loved/115711/22 "2002-06-25T06:06:09Z")

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“bishie” is short Bishounen- Japanese for beautiful boy. Anime geek term.

Ok, here’s mine.  
Bill was the best, he was so funny and smart. He introduced me to “shotgunning” smoke. We loved all the same things: trashy horror movies, cartoons, hell we played D&D together. Geekboy love is great while it lasts. :sigh:

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**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-we-have-loved/115711/23 "2002-06-25T07:24:21Z")

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Peter.

Peter, so cheerful and open and friendly and full of life. Never met a stranger. No idea how he put up with a black-hearted cynic like me for so long. I should have let him be a good influence on me. We broke up, thought about getting together, but I knew that we had mismatched temperaments. We still saw a lot of each other, though, as often as our separate lives and separate romances and propensity to live at least 5 hours away from each other allowed. The last time we ever went to bed together–a rare event, a time when we both felt comfortable and were single–was probably the most loved and treasured I’ve ever felt by another person.

You’ll always be a part of my heart, Peter, and I’ll always want the best for you although god knows I doubt I’ll ever believe any woman is good enough for you. And fer god’s sakes, you simply HAVE to quit smoking.

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**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-we-have-loved/115711/24 "2002-06-25T08:13:19Z")

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I wrote her a poem. The last line was:

“But the dance that she danced  
Was for herself.  
She did not dance for me.”

I spent a bit of time crying over her.

She married the nicest damn guy I ever met, too. I can’t even hate him.

They have the most beautiful baby girl, and I know she will dance through a lot of dreams one day, as well.

Broken hearts don’t kill you. Death probably doesn’t hurt that much.

## Tris

“Sic transit gloria mundi. And Tuesday’s usually worse.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein ~

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**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-we-have-loved/115711/25 "2002-06-25T10:59:06Z")

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Tiffany.

That’s right. I loved a girl named Tiffany, dammit! It was many moons ago.

She was dating a friend of mine, whom I now regard as a complete putz. (dating being a euphemism for ‘joined at the hip’) He treated her badly. Took her for granted. Because he was a friend, I could do nothing.

Tiffany was beautiful, petite, sweet as sugar. I would have treated right. I hope someone is treating her right. I hope she’s happy.

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**Author:** ![Crispy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@Crispy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crispy)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2002, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-we-have-loved/115711/26 "2002-06-26T06:52:47Z")

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I’m really enjoying this thread, so…

_bump_

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**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2002, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-we-have-loved/115711/27 "2002-06-26T07:45:33Z")

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I can’t even think of her name without getting depressed so I won’t type it.

Beautiful Lebanese girl. Incredible deep brown almond eyes that I could happily spend the rest of my life staring into unit I died of starvation cause I would want to look away for long enough to eat. Sweet, caring, she would start crying at any injustice in the world. We could talk forever, well technically she would talk forever cause she loved to talk and I loved to listen to her so much I didn’t want to interupt. Fun exciting the only person who ever accepted me for who I was and could appreciate it. But…

She grew up in Dearborn in a very tradional group of Muslem families. Family was very important to her, and being Muslem was very important to her family. After meeting a couple members of her family it became apparent that she was being frowned on for even hanging out with me let alone anything more. It was obvious that if anything were to happen between us she would be disowned by her family. And I cared way to much for her to force her into the me or them decision. I also was way to much in love to handle being near her without being with her, so I ran away like a coward and fell into a bottle of Jack Daniels for about two years. It is the decision I have regreted the most in my life. But after 9 years I still have never been able to come up with any I could have handled it better.

I gave her so much of my heart that I can never get it back, and she will never know. ☹

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**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2002, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-we-have-loved/115711/28 "2002-06-26T13:51:35Z")

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Let us not forget John. John from my senior year spanish class in high school. I was going out with an abusive, horrible guy five years older than me and John kept saying “You look so sad all the time.”

I had the biggest crush on him…and one night he asked me and my friends to go get ice cream with him and it was the most fun I’d had in a long time.

He wrote me a letter once we were in college and said “I wish I’d asked you out…but you were going with someone else…and I knew you wouldn’t leave him…”

AAAAUUUUGH

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**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2002, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-we-have-loved/115711/29 "2002-06-26T14:16:47Z")

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Scott and Paul. Two friends I’d known since early grade school, through high school. Gorgeous to me, geek enough to interest me. Scott was closer to me - we even went to each other’s houses for D&D in grade school. Dark hair, blue eyes, great smile. Paul was cute as hell, brown hair and deep brown eyes. He once shared an ice cream sundae with me but seemed to avoid me a little more after that - I couldn’t figure out if maybe people teased him about it or what. Neither ever seemed to be interested in me romantically though; I consoled myself with the thought that maybe since we’d known each other so long, it’d be more like dating a sister. Well, tried to console myself with it. I was too shy to say anything, and valued their friendship too much to make it awkward if neither was interested.

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**Author:** ![Nymysys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f6c823/32.png) [@Nymysys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nymysys)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2002, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-we-have-loved/115711/30 "2002-06-26T19:49:31Z")

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Seth and Dennis both. First year of college, had to fill in a stage managing position for someone that got called up to the big leagues. Didn’t know any of the cast, so I’m sitting in the green room waiting for them all to walk in so that I can meet everyone for the first time.

They walked in together. The gods wept.

Seth was medium height and lanky. Had that early 90’s blonde Prince Valiant haircut. Intense stare. Would not speak to me, but just looked. All the time. I turn around, he’s looking at me. Feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up from the soundbooth, he’s looking at me from the wings. Seth, my gods. How you made me weak. Just about the only person that made me unable to talk. I once sat with him at the Corner Diner and asked him out, but I couldn’t even look at him. He just smiled at me and got out of the booth and left. I followed his band. I showed up at his improv shows. I staked out his dorm room. I become friends with his friends. I could NOT complete a sentence around him. I still get crushes on guys just because their name is Seth.

Dennis was a whole 'nother story. Tall and incredibly built. A model and actor. 10 years older than I am and Portuguese. Dead smoldering sexy. I always wanted to be so sophisticated like he was, but I always felt like a little kid. I pulled out all the stops for him and he finally asked me out. We ended up dating on and off for five years and I never once got enough of him. Then he got married to the girl he dated on and off for TEN years. She had a head start, dammit.

And now there is Sev. One of us always has a crush on the other, but we both know we can never date, for various reasons. But I still know he’s going to be the one that I always wonder “what if?” about.

All of them growing experiences. All of them hurt like a BITCH.

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**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2002, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-we-have-loved/115711/31 "2002-06-26T23:11:26Z")

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The first guy I recall liking was named Charles. It was in 1st grade!  
I think I kept a list, and by the time I made it to 11th grade, there were about 400 guys I’d been interested in.

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**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\
**Post date:** [July 2, 2002, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-we-have-loved/115711/32 "2002-07-02T15:13:58Z")

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Oh, and the majority of guys I’ve noticed in Chueca (Madrid’s Village) or in the pride parade or nightclub to date. Most recently I was walking down the street to the webcafé and saw this incredibly delicious goth bishie boy (thanks for the explanation, Grendel) walking down the street. I cruised him so bad but he didn’t even look at me.

Madrileño boys are FUCKING HOT. Thank you.

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**Author:** ![\_etalhea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/779978/32.png) [@\_etalhea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_etalhea)\
**Post date:** [July 2, 2002, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-we-have-loved/115711/33 "2002-07-02T16:24:03Z")

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Robyn.

[pearl jam]  
I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life, I know you’ll be a star  
In somebody else’s sky.  
Why Why Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy can’t it be  
Why can’t it be mine?  
[/pearl jam]

This is a great, yet supremely depressing thread. I wish I hadn’t read it.

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**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\
**Post date:** [July 2, 2002, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-we-have-loved/115711/34 "2002-07-02T16:39:04Z")

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Lisa. _sigh_

Dark hair, flashing brown eyes, a musical laugh and a quick smile. Pretty in every sense of the word. Not a supermodel knockout, but attractive with a personality to match. She’s the kind of girl you meet and five minutes later it’s like you’ve known her all your life.

We met on the first day of college orientation and became fast friends. Our school was small and our social circles overlapped so we saw a lot of each other. We both had relationships of varying intensity but I never gathered up the courage to really chase her. So we stayed friends and had a good time together.

A few years after we both graduated and got engaged (each to other people :)) she admitted that she would have liked to have gone out with me if I had been a bit more agressive in letting my feelings show. Dammit.

I don’t regret the path my life took but knowing I could have been as happy in the alternate universe spooling out from that crossroad gives me the fits sometimes. We’re still good friends, though; in fact she and her husband are throwing a party on the 4th and a bunch of us college friends are going to spend the day together.

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**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\
**Post date:** [July 2, 2002, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boys-we-have-loved/115711/35 "2002-07-02T17:55:25Z")

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I’m not sure why, but **Cranky** , I actually started to weep when I read yours. Very touching.

Actually all of this is. Lots of sighing and wistful remembering…

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