# Brag about your moments of parental brilliance **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 31, 2013, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779 "2013-10-31T20:48:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![phreesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@phreesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phreesh)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779/21 "2013-11-01T17:00:13Z")
A little backstory. All treats from Easter/Halloweeen/Christmas/etc go into treat bags for my two kids. One for the son, one for the daughter. It’s a good system as whenever there’s more treat than bag, we have to toss out the excess. Anyway… After meals, when they remember it, they are able to have a treat each out of their treat bags. If they choose to share a treat out of their bag with their sibling, they are able to have two treats. Sharing is optional, but if you don’t share, you don’t get a second treat. Works like a charm. They are able to share everything very willingly. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779/22 "2013-11-01T17:55:25Z")
> [@Maserschmidt](#): > > When my kids were much younger, during one bad family episode of gastroenteritis I put a bounty of $5 on every time someone made it to the toilet to throw up. It was hugely effective, to the point that our friends all copied it. > > Was it expensive? Sure. Was it worth it? Every penny. We got a very large stainless steel stock pot plunked next to us. Hurl in the pot, no mess on the floor. I still keep a big stock pot in my bedroom I normally use it as a wastebasket, but when I get nauseated, it gets dragged out from under the desk very quickly just in case. > [@WhyNot](#): > > (Seriously, I think someone really should open a Toy Museum where they have toys out for play, and then an attendant gives you a link to a webpage where you can buy what your kid enjoyed the most! Like a showroom for toys…) That is a neat idea. Have it set up so you plug in a thumb drive and the address gets loaded onto it would be better, no need to type anything in. ---
**Author:** ![NVME702-redux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a183cd/32.png) [@NVME702-redux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NVME702-redux)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779/23 "2013-11-01T18:40:50Z")
My little woo hoo go me parenting moment I only had to enforce twice, and it never happened again. The kids are now 17 and 14( X 2) but when they were at the 8 and 5 year old stages the annoying little sister situations really came into play and they started physically fighting. So the rule is this, since you love to lay a heavy hand on each other so much, if you physically fight you will be forced to hold hands for the duration of what your ages add up to, which at that time 8 + 5= 13 minutes of publicly holding your little sisters hand. And any squirming, pinching or squeezing hands during this time started the hand holding minutes all over. Like I said, I only had to do it twice and they were quick to warn their visiting cousins and friends of the consequences of giving a well deserved smack! ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779/24 "2013-11-01T19:12:44Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > (Seriously, I think someone really should open a Toy Museum where they have toys out for play, and then an attendant gives you a link to a webpage where you can buy what your kid enjoyed the most! Like a showroom for toys…) The ones I know tend to display old toys, not in production any more, but… howzabout [this hotel?](http://www.hoteldeljuguete.com/es/home.html) Not quite a moment of brilliance, but you’re stuck with it anyway. My niece is quite the little princess, a model of girl that I have never been truly comfortable around. She just turned 5; today the whole family went out to lunch to celebrate Grandma’s 100th birthday. My niece was wearing a very classical dress, deep maroon with a white lacy collar, and when she came over after dessert I noticed her nails were painted the same color. I said “oh, I like that your nails are painted the same shade as your dress, very pretty!” She beamed at me, bounced back to her chair, and Mom confided that had been the same argument used by the niece to get her nails painted, after my sister in law had said “no, because the only shade I have here is very dark, it is not appropriate for a little girl” “It is the same shade as my dress! If it’s all right for my dress, it’s all right for my nails”. So first, my brother and his wife appear to have learned that with their kids it’s generally best to reason than use Authority (excuse me, my eyes just tried to do a sommersault here - I’ve always had “problems with Authority”) even if that means conceding when they reason better, and second, I might learn to properly speak the Princess dialect in just a couple more decades of working at it… ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779/25 "2013-11-01T19:15:50Z")
> [@Max\_Torque](#): > > Our neighborhood had an asparagus truck for years. It would drive around, playing music, letting everyone know they could come get fresh asparagus. I have to admit, I looked up asparagus truck trying to see what you were talking about. [I found this](http://www.lehighhansoncanada.com/PublishingImages/Home_Asparagus_Truck_3.jpg). I don’t remember if someone said it here or I heard it on the radio, but I heard someone somewhere saying that they told their kids the ice cream truck only plays music when it’s out of ice cream. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779/26 "2013-11-01T19:16:18Z")
My grandson had a problem with nightmares. There was a monster he’d seen in a commercial at a movie theater, and it was attacking him every night in his sleep. I told him the story of the Zduhacz, where Serbian soldier brothers went into the dreamworld and fought a monster that was troubling the village. I made sure to point out that the brothers took with them wooden swords, the only weapons that can be taken into the dreamworld. My grandson has a wooden sword. That night he killed his monster, and has been sleeping well ever since. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779/27 "2013-11-01T19:17:03Z")
My daughter asked me what porn was. I thought about it and said, “It’s usually either videos or photos of people having sex or doing sexual things.” then she asked by “What do you think of it?” I said, “There are lots of different opinions, mom thinks that as long as it’s between adults and no one is getting hurt, then it’s fine. I think the only problem with it is that it’s not real and it can change the way you think about sex if you spend a lot of time looking at it before you are ready. There is a LOT of it on the internet, and you’ll probably find it without looking for it, if you haven’t already. I’d like you to talk to me about it if you see something that you are not sure about, okay?” The next day the next day we were out for lunch and an (obviously male) cross-dresser sat beside us. She looked at him, looked at me, looked at him very pointedly. I said, “Don’t stare, we’ll talk about it in the car.” I explained that some men and women wear clothing traditionally associated with the opposite sex because they either like how it feels or like how it looks. She asked if that meant he was gay, I said, “Not always. One of Mom’s best friends likes to wear some women’s stuff, and he is married with kids.” and she left it. It was a weird week, but I think we came out of it okay. ---
**Author:** ![Barrett\_Bonden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5e9695/32.png) [@Barrett\_Bonden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrett_Bonden)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779/28 "2013-11-01T19:43:58Z")
When the unaccompanied minor next to me was fussing about how much longer we would be in the air, I pulled out Delta’s flight magazine, turned to the aircraft page, and helped her estimate how many miles we had traveled in the MD-80 (yes, its maximum speed is 452 miles per hour, but your Mom doesn’t drive her car at its maximum speed all the time, does she?) since taking off. Then we turned to the flight routes page and using the distance key estimated that we were probably over Dallas. Miss Unaccompanied was still not thrilled, since Dallas was only about halfway to Atlanta. She fussed that she wanted to get off, so I asked if she had brought her parachute. She admitted she hadn’t. Together we nixed the debarking over Dallas idea. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779/29 "2013-11-01T20:25:27Z")
> [@Orville\_mogul](#): > > I think you got that from Sesame Street 🙂 Only if people go in on bags of weed on Sesame Street. Or so I’ve heard. As practiced by other people. A long time ago. Who totally were never me. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779/30 "2013-11-01T20:54:02Z")
When we first started letting the kid have treats, I’d start him off with a very small portion. Then, when he would try to bargain with me, I’d put on a big show of reluctance and finally “agree” to a slightly-larger-but-still-very-small portion. “Can I have jellybeans?” “Sure! Here you go: two jellybeans.” “Can I have _three_?” (I heave a big sigh, slowly nod my head.) “Okay. You’ve been really good today, so… I _guess_ it’s okay if you have three.” He got to feel like he won, and now he blithely accepts that the typical serving of m&m’s, jellybeans, potato chips, etc. is two. Five is a veritable bonanza. I recently talked to a dad who does something similar, but with a twist. They only keep a tiny amount of a treat where the kid can see it; the rest is hidden away. So when the kid asks for some, they say, “Sure! You can have _all of it_!” Score! We also called it the “music truck” for a while, but it didn’t last long. We were at the playground one day, and a truck came by and parked just a few yards away. Kiddo watched as some kids ran to the truck and walked away with their ice cream, and a door opened in his mind. He looked at them, then back at the truck, then back at the kids, then at me, as if to say, “Did you _see that_?!” Then he stared hard at the truck again and, with a solemn and passionate resolve I would not have thought a 2-1/2-year-old capable of, the sort that is usually employed only in phrases beginning with, “As God is my witness…”, he said, “I want them to give _me_ ice cream.” “Oh, sorry, honey. They don’t just give it away; you have to give them money.” He looked back at me: “Give them money.” He was so intensely serious that I couldn’t help but laugh, and it was all over. A little thing, that made a big difference to me: when he was learning to walk, I realized that holding his hand in the [normal way](http://pastorgregumc.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/adult-and-child-holding-hands1.jpg) wasn’t very secure. My hand was too broad for him to grip, and it was too easy for him to slip his fingers away from me when crossing a street, in a parking lot, etc. Instead, I have him hold onto my index finger, but I then wrap the rest of my fingers around his wrist - something like [this](http://www.westheimphoto.com/lightbox/gallery/AsiaStockPhotosHenryWestheim/TWNhw037.jpg), but with a much tighter grip. It’s easier for him to hold onto me, and much harder for him to slip away. One that I came up with when babysitting for friends, but it works on my kid, too: they had been told to clean up their playroom, which had a dense carpet of toys, and they weren’t making much headway. So I said, “How fast can you find all the red toys? Who can find the most?” They ran around grabbing up armfuls of toys - “Does this count? It’s got red stripes!” - and when they were done, we threw them all in the bin. Immediately, they said, “What about blue? Can we do blue next?” “Okay, blue… go!” And so on. The room was tidy in ten minutes, tops. It was a thing of beauty. And one I learned from those same friends: when a kid sees something in a store and says, “Oh, this is so cool!” instead of jumping directly to, “No, you can’t have it,” just agree with them. “Yeah! That _is_ cool! I love the way it [does whatever].” Then go on your merry way. Also, make a point of admiring things for yourself that you don’t buy. “Isn’t this a cool hat? How does it look on me? Okay, let’s put it back, and we’ll go buy you some new socks.” Internalizing the idea that you can enjoy, appreciate, and even desire something without having to own it goes a long way toward combating the “gimmies”. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779/31 "2013-11-01T21:14:28Z")
I don’t know if this was brilliant, but it worked: My youngest was about 10, and fell off his skateboard and hurt his shoulder. He came in the house crying, mainly because he said he couldn’t skateboard anymore with his friends that day. So I did the Mr. Miyagi thing from the Karate Kid. I took a deep breath and blew it out. Clapped my hands together and rubbed them around, them quickly grasped his shoulder. He was stunned, and then said he felt better and ran outside. I knew he was fine to start with and just upset. The flip side was a while later when his brother told him it was just something from a movie, he was mad at me for a little while after that. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779/32 "2013-11-01T21:34:15Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > So I told him, " I’m tired of arguing. I’m just going to give you $10 a week no matter what." > > His eyes lit up and he immediately agreed. > > The next day I came home and took out the trash. Then I stopped by his room where he was goofing off and said, " I took out the trash for you". He said thanks and I said, " No problem. I only charge a dollar for that". ---- $9 left. I really like this, and it fits in my model of parenting with natural consequences. A couple of things have worked surprisingly well. One was when my daughter was in her terrible twos and would get into meltdowns. We had a Japanese \*daruma \*doll on a shelf and I’d take her over to talk to the _daruma_. It would work more or less, but what really surprised me was one day when she was upset but not at meltdown stage yet, and she came over to me and asked to be picked up to talk to the doll. That became a way we both survived the out of control emotions for that period. For things such as that’s hot or sharp, I would like them touch something which was uncomfortable, but not dangerous. We had a cactus and I let both of them gingerly touch it. Never ran into problems with not touching knives or other things after that. I’d just let them know it was sharp. Same thing with hot. I let them touch my coffee mug which was hot enough for a toddler to not like, but wouldn’t burn. They didn’t need to learn on stoves. We did that with spicy food as well. Something which was mildly spicy, so it wouldn’t burn their mouths, but enough to know that something spicy is for mommy or daddy. Like that spicy stuff from Canada that Daddy puts on his pancakes. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779/33 "2013-11-01T22:02:19Z")
> [@Gleena](#): > > My monster-b-gone spray. Vinegar, baking soda, sparkly glitter, purple food colouring in a clear spray bottle. > > It was worth having the occasional glitter bit under the bed, as it visibly reminded him that the area had indeed been sprayed, so all monsters were banished and both boy and mom could sleep. This is great! I had one sort of like it, but for aches and pains. I had some small tubes of body lotion, really clinical looking. For headaches, rub on forehead, for tummy ache rub on tummy and for bumps and scrapes rub either around or on the other side (eg inside the elbow). Make a fuss. Cures headaches and tummy aches and all sorts! The thing is, it really does. We also had “homesick pills”. Blue smarties or some such in a pill jar. > [@Sarabellum1976](#): > > My kids having to share a treat. Maybe a candy bar, maybe a can of soda. Every time, it turns into, “he got MORE than me, wah!”. > > Just buy 2 treats next time? NEVER! > > Now we let the older kid have the honor of dividing the treat, and the younger one gets to pick first. Treats look like they were surgically divided with a scalpel, down to the last micron of treat-matter. > > No more whining. This is an expression in Dutch: kiezen of delen? - choose or divide? Although it’s meant for that sort of cake dividing situation, it’s used more broadly. For example, if a politician or coworker wants to divide and then be the first to choose in some situation, people will remark: “hey, it’s choosing OR dividing!” ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Woodhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@Miss\_Woodhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Woodhouse)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779/34 "2013-11-01T23:08:01Z")
> [@](#): > > Take the little ones to the pumpkin patch to get pumpkins. They of course want the 100 lb ones that cost more than I could afford. On the spur of the moment I came up with the you have to be able to carry it to the counter rule We have that rule too. Only it becomes a problem when you have teenagers who are perfectly capable of carrying the huge pumpkins. You should see the monsters my kids brought home this year. ---
**Author:** ![bathsheba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@bathsheba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bathsheba)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2013, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779/35 "2013-11-02T00:01:23Z")
The piece of fruit I placed in Bathshebaette’s lunchbox each day would return home every night. So one night, I took a permanent marker and wrote on an orange, “EAT ME OR YOU WILL GET CONSTIPATED AGAIN”. Then I hid it her lunchbox ready for the great reveal at recess the next day. Result? One embarrassed but no longer bound up seven year old. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2013, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779/36 "2013-11-02T01:52:20Z")
You guys, these are all great! Keep them coming! ---
**Author:** ![Heckity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@Heckity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heckity)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2013, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779/37 "2013-11-02T01:56:28Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > When my kids were younger there was the typical name calling amongst siblings. When one would run to me and claim mortal offense, the conversation would always go like this: > Child: So-and-so called me (stupid, ugly, useless, etc)! > Me: Are you? > Child: Um, no. > Me: OK, now go back out and play. > > Years later my middle child was relating this to someone while in my presence and said “I always hated that answer! I was looking for sympathy and Dad gave me…(lightbulb goes on)…the understanding that what others think about me doesn’t matter if it’s not true… Thanks, Dad!” > > Gotta love it when a plan comes together. This is brilliant! Too late for my kids, but will wait for my grand kids. My son at three was freaked out by the Sandman. I’m not sure I blame him. Some weird elfin guy who creeps around your room at night and puts sand in your eyes? He didn’t think that sounded too good. So he didn’t want to sleep. Together we made a simple cardboard sign, with ‘Yes’ on one side and ‘No’ on the other. He got to choose whether the Sandman could visit or not, by putting the sign in the window. It was never turned to ‘Yes’, but he went right to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2013, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779/38 "2013-11-02T02:07:54Z")
> [@Lightray](#): > > I’m not a parent, but when Number One Nephew was about 5 his parents and grandmother (my mom) were gobsmacked when they came to check on us “playing” to discover I’d gotten him to clean up all his toys and put them away _for the first time, ever_. > > He’s very precise and methodical (future engineer 😉 ), so I’d simply started putting all his toys away _in the wrong places_. “No! Uncle Lightray, you’re doing it wrong!” And then, of course, he had to show me how to do it correctly. > > Alas, Number Two Nephew was soon old enough to add to the clutterwreck, and blithly unconcerned about people doing things wrong – as long as he didn’t have to do them. I think that may’ve actually been the last time I saw the floors in their house… It worked this way for my kids, too! The older one hated having Mom getting all in her stuff, so if her closet or her room or her backpack were starting to get too messy to be workable, all I’d have to do was say, “Here, let me straighten that up for you.” That backfired in a big way with the second one - she was more than happy to have me clean her stuff up for her! She and I are a lot alike, come to think of it. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2013, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779/39 "2013-11-02T11:26:57Z")
Middle school child and homework problems. My 13 yr old was getting very lax about remembering and doing homework. He could do it easily, but wasn’t interested enough to take note of assignments in class. We made arrangements with his teacher to for one of us to sit beside him in class _all day long._ When we revealed this plan to him, we acted like total dweebs, gushing about how exciting to meet his friends, and we could talk to that girl he liked for him, etc., and that we’d have a desk beside him to help with notes and homework. Our “This will be so much FUN!” attitude worked exactly as planned. Memory and dedication to assignments improved miraculously. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2013, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779/40 "2013-11-02T12:57:06Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > And one I learned from those same friends: when a kid sees something in a store and says, “Oh, this is so cool!” instead of jumping directly to, “No, you can’t have it,” just agree with them. “Yeah! That _is_ cool! I love the way it [does whatever].” Then go on your merry way. Also, make a point of admiring things for yourself that you don’t buy. “Isn’t this a cool hat? How does it look on me? Okay, let’s put it back, and we’ll go buy you some new socks.” Internalizing the idea that you can enjoy, appreciate, and even desire something without having to own it goes a long way toward combating the “gimmies”. I think this is an _excellent_ piece of advice. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brag-about-your-moments-of-parental-brilliance/672779.md?page=3)