# Brain-dead at the beach **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 23, 2014, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brain-dead-at-the-beach/691461 "2014-06-23T17:13:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brain-dead-at-the-beach/691461/21 "2014-06-26T14:35:50Z")
> [@Dead\_Cat](#): > > I agree with the sentiment, but I can’t help wondering if their pride was slightly dented once they too discovered the paltry rewards on offer for such a seemingly impressive stack of tickets. Oh, no – they happily “shop” for the crappy toys. I had to physically stop them from buying dozens of those little plastic parachute men, because past experience has proven that those things are worse than useless. > [@](#): > > Having experienced this myself (as an adult), I think the most enjoyable part of the whole thing was possibly feeding the tickets into the ticket-eating machine that converts it into a number for you. You’re probably right – if I let them, the boys would fight over who got to feed the ticket machine. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brain-dead-at-the-beach/691461/22 "2014-06-26T15:32:11Z")
Ha, agreed on the plastic parachute men! > [@RTFirefly](#): > > Against my better judgment, a response: > > 1. There is a book called _The Lord of the Rings_. You may have heard of it. > > [snip] Huh, thanks for the spoiler alert. I’ve been coming here for years and never heard of that book - sounded interesting but no point in reading it now. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brain-dead-at-the-beach/691461/23 "2014-06-26T16:04:30Z")
> [@Dead\_Cat](#): > > Ha, agreed on the plastic parachute men! > > Huh, thanks for the spoiler alert. I’ve been coming here for years and never heard of that book - sounded interesting but no point in reading it now. Nice sarcasm, but **Blucher** interpreted my remark in a rather disturbing way, so I wanted to clear things up. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brain-dead-at-the-beach/691461/24 "2014-06-26T20:47:02Z")
> [@Sauron](#): > > Oh, no – they happily “shop” for the crappy toys. I had to physically stop them from buying dozens of those little plastic parachute men, because past experience has proven that those things are worse than useless. :eek: Say it ain’t so **Sauron**! Parachute men are the coolest! Perhaps you just don’t allow the kids to play with them correctly. The kids need to climb, unaided by adults, to the highest point of the roof (any roof of 2 stories plus with a 45 degree pitch and no safety rails will do). This should be done on a coastal property, immediately before a gale (or small hurricane). Once the wind hits 56 MPH, have the kids leap as high as they can and fling the toys. Parachute men go flying, kids go tumbling down the roof and a grand time is had by all! [sub]It is usually best to tell the ER staff that the children fell out of bed, though[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brain-dead-at-the-beach/691461/25 "2014-06-26T21:44:13Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > [sub]It is usually best to tell the ER staff that the children fell out of bed, though[/sub] It’s wise to take advice from a **Doctor**! ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brain-dead-at-the-beach/691461/26 "2014-06-27T13:07:58Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > [sub]It is usually best to tell the ER staff that the children fell out of bed, though[/sub] You have an evil twist in your martini. I like that. No, the problem is, the boys have a tendency to want the parachute men to float the greatest possible distance. In the past, standing on the back of the couch in the beach condo wasn’t good enough, so they started flinging them off the fifth-floor balcony. Which they thought was great fun until the people in the pool below them politely asked us to stop pelting them with little plastic men. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brain-dead-at-the-beach/691461/27 "2014-06-27T19:14:49Z")
At which point you should begin jumping up and down while yelling at the top of your lungs "There’s a pool in the LZ!!! Who put a pool in the freaking LZ??? And what manner of freaking idiot are you for swimming in a freaking pool some other freaking idiot put in the freaking LZ!!! Why, I oughta beat the freaking crap out of you and your entire freaking family!!! (Use as many ?'s and !'s as you need, they’re cheap). [sub]It’s usually best to tell the ER staff that you walked into a door. Multiple times[/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brain-dead-at-the-beach/691461.md?page=1)