Branson is tacky as all hell but I think it is supposed to be. If you want to see Americana at its worst, go there. That isn’t all bad but think a really tacky state fair that came to a town and decided to stay permanently. They have some interesting shows though.
[QUOTE=An Arky]
If you go to Branson, you could just avoid Branson itself and go do other things. There’s lakes, mountains and interesting stuff outside Branson proper that are worth the trip, if it’s free.
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The, er, mountains aren’t (or as they say in the Ozarks, “ain’{t}”) really mountains, more of rolling hills and somewhat fractured highlands. Fall is definitely the most scenic time to be there, plus you’ll miss the worst of the vacationeers, but beyond a visit to Bagnell Dam and a few dayhikes you’re going to find your vacation pretty much limited to kitsch attractions and mediocre food.
[QUOTE=An Arky]
If you get an ironic kick out of kitsch, Branson is a mother lode. Places like the God and Country Inspirational Gardens or the Shepherd of the Hills Homestead are a real scream.
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Thanks for reminding me the reasons I never plan to go back.
[QUOTE=racer72]
After looking through the Branson website and the info from this thread, I’m taking the cash.
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A wise choice, methinks.
Stranger
Nearby Eureka Springs Arkansas is a really cool spot. I find it best in the off season (not christmas or summer) but then again, that is the only time I’ve been there.
Driving back home we went through Branson. One of the things that struck me is the amount of garbage. I saw at least three people throw fast food garbage out the window. That just doesn’t happen in Minnesota, but by looking at the sides of the road, it was commonplace.
In Soviet Branson, Yakov Smirnov STILL not funny!
Well, Branson itself didn’t impress too much, but I did like the Ozarks. There were a lot of pretty sites to see if you stayed away from the town.
But then I like caves and nature and stuff so I usually do stay away from the towns and cities and hang out in the less populated areas.
I’d take the money, though.
[QUOTE=Stranger On A Train]
The, er, mountains aren’t (or as they say in the Ozarks, “ain’{t}”) really mountains, more of rolling hills and somewhat fractured highlands. Fall is definitely the most scenic time to be there, plus you’ll miss the worst of the vacationeers, but beyond a visit to Bagnell Dam and a few dayhikes you’re going to find your vacation pretty much limited to kitsch attractions and mediocre food.
Stranger
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Well…yeah, I think the Ozarks are an eroded plateau. It can be craggy in places, but not much over 2000’ in elevation at their highest. I use the term “mountain” loosely, as shorthand. Also, people who visit there from Kansas or Louisiana really do think they’re mountains, haha! But on the Arkansas side there’s some nice scenery and a couple of rivers that are awesome for canoeing/rafting.
I’m not as familiar with the Missouri side (I’m from Arkansas, originally). I went to Silver Dollar City as a kid, and that and a couple of jamborees and a bit of jaysus stuff was all there was back then. I didn’t even recognize the place when I drove through just a few years ago.
[QUOTE=racer72]
I enter 2 or 3 online contests a week. In the a 2 or so years I have been doing this, I have won a few minor gifts, a couple of gift cards, a toaster oven, a bottle of wine. Sometime last March or so I entered a contest, the grand prize is a trip for 2 to Branson, Missouri. Airfare, ground transportation, 4 days 3 nights at a deluxe hotel. Today I checked the email address I used for such things and besides the load of spam and crap and I had one with the subject line “You Are A Winner!”. Hmm, I only get 2 or 3 of these a week. Only this one did not have the usual stuff that said I had to buy something to get something. It had an actual phone number (not a 1-800 number either) and it said call collect if I wanted. There was also the secret answer to the secret question.
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“It’s a major prize!” ~Darren McGavin, A Christmas Story
I’ve driven past Branson many times. From the billboards it looks lame.
[QUOTE=dalej42]
Branson, MO is the absolute pit of red state America. Everyone is obese, smokes two packs a day, and thinks Applebees is fine cusine. It might be the real home of the pig people. 
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Tourists from Texas, obviously. 
If the Grand Prize was one week in Branson, what was the second prize? Two weeks in Branson?
(Note: Some years ago I missed a family reunion because I was pregnant. The next reunion, two years after that, was held in Branson. People I knew in Arkansas suggested I get pregnant again–anything to miss a family reunion in Branson.)
Table Rock Lake is sweet, but Branson is eh. We’d always take our boat, stay somewhere on the lake, and go into Branson a couple times for non-BBQed dinner and go karts. It’s pretty cheesy though. But Ozarks is way crappier (as a town and lake, but state parks, views, etc nice).
Best parts about Branson: Watching old people try to manuver RVs up and down tight little roads, stealing street signs, leaving.
My advice? Find a cute little hottie and shack up for a couple days! 
I would pay cash to get out of Branson, Mo.
Branson has built its reputation as the family-friendly version of its Nevada counterpart. This is referenced in The Simpsons, which goes as far as Bart saying “My dad says it’s like Vegas — if it were run by Ned Flanders.”[10]
One chief difference is the lack of gambling. Given that, they don’t draw A-list entertainers as much.
Joe Queenan refers to Branson as “Mulefucker’s Mecca.”
That being said, my best friend and her husband were there a couple of weeks ago - they won a 3 night stay. They had a good time, but then they never left the hotel room, either.
I would go personally. It sounds like it would be very interesting in a learning sort of way. I’d probably also explore the local nature scene. Also, that Shoji Tabuchi show intrigues me for musical and sociological reasons.
So now that we’ve all decided that you’re not going to Branson, can we decide what to do with the cash? 
Take $1,000. After taxes that will be about $667 in cash for you. Branson is a place of torture in my opinion. I’m sure you can spend the cash, without our help.
[QUOTE=Harmonious Discord]
Branson is a place of torture in my opinion.
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Amen to that! I spent the longest year of my life one weekend in Branson five years ago, at a family celebration for Mom’s 60th birthday.
You guys are no fun.
Actually up until a few years ago I used to think the road to hell went through Branson.
But over the past few years, I’ve really developed a weird fascination about the place. The whole kitsch experience.
Not enough to plan a trip and pay for it myself. But if I had the choice of a thousand dollars and a free trip - I’m going to Branson.
And I would be so front and center for the Ann-Margret (a picture with her for sure)/Andy Williams show.
Since I would pay money to avoid Branson based on what I’ve heard, I would take the money, unless maybe you’re over 70.
But if you take the money, you won’t get to see these guys! :eek:
Seriously, is there anyone that find that particular sterotype funny anymore?