# Bratty kid? Am I over-reacting? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 2, 2010, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933 "2010-08-02T20:54:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933/101 "2010-08-05T21:21:23Z")
Ok, I’ve read the whole thread and I’m kind of confused. You’ve asked if you over reacted - I’m not sure you’ve reacted at all, yet - have you? YOu didn’t tell Junior he couldn’t play with his friend. You didn’t tell the other child he couldn’t come over anymore. You didn’t make the boys undo the trade. Honestly, the other boy sounds annoying and you sound like you’re annoyed, but it doesn’t seem to me like you’re over reacting at all - you haven’t even done anything. Anyhow, I’m not a parent but keeping an eye on your child who’s playing with an older child that squiks you about a bit (justified or not) just seems like common sense to me. So does wanting to know where your 7 year old - it’s not like he’s 20. I suppose that means I’ll be a helicopter parent as well. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933/102 "2010-08-05T21:24:59Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > I am particularly curious about the claim that “many stranger abductions go unreported.” I find that extremely unlikely. “WTF! That guy in the dark van just grabbed my Timmy!.. Meh.” ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933/103 "2010-08-05T21:49:40Z")
> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#): > > > [@Hello\_Again](#): > > > > I am particularly curious about the claim that “many stranger abductions go unreported.” I find that extremely unlikely. > > “WTF! That guy in the dark van just grabbed my Timmy!.. Meh.” Nah, **ordinary** said they don’t always make it to the news, not that they don’t get reported at all. Which I can understand: the [del]white[/del] cute ones are more likely to get media attention. Still, I daresay that “many” is a relative term. ---
**Author:** ![IaMoDiNaRy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@IaMoDiNaRy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IaMoDiNaRy)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933/104 "2010-08-05T22:03:47Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > From your second cite: > > > [@](#): > > > > 115 children were the victims of “stereotypical” kidnapping. (These crimes involve someone the child does not know or someone of slight acquaintance, who holds the child overnight, transports the child 50 miles or more, kills the child, demands ransom, or intends to keep the child permanently.) > > That’s 115 per year. I don’t have a cite for this, but I’m going to hazard a guess that more than 115 kids choke to death on french fries every year. > > PS, there are more than 115 days in a year, just FYI. FYI - The correct spelling is web “site”, not “cite” but who’s splitting hairs? Oh wait, you are! “It’s ONLY 115 kids, that’s all!” Yeah, you must have missed this part so here you go - **797,500** children (younger than 18) were reported missing in a one-year period of time. **203,900** children were the victims of family abductions. (not always a good thing, is it? Most of the time they don’t have custody for a reason, right?) **58,200** children were the victims of non-family abductions. (meaning strangers!) Do the math. So these abductions were no big deal and not traumatic for the child? I’m not really sure why you’ve chosen to compare child abduction to french fries and I’m also not really sure why you chose to argue the point that there are NO dangers lurking out there for our children. My original post was in response to astro when he/she said that Silver Fire was being “controlling” because she wanted to know where her 7 year old son was at all times. I stated that this meant love and concern to me, not control. Silver Fire is doing the right thing in being concerned about where her 7 year old is. It happens and I’ll say it again - ONE abducted child is one child too many in my opinion. You can compare it to as many other random happenings as you want to. It’s a nightmare that is preventable so why not prevent it if you can? Anyway, I think this debate has hi-jacked Silver Fire’s thread long enough. You have your opinion and I have mine. I agree to disagree! :D:D ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933/105 "2010-08-05T22:34:13Z")
“Cite” is short for “citation,” not “web site.” “Non-family abduction” can mean the abduction was by a friend or someone known to the child. In fact, that’s what it does mean, because when you restrict the numbers to your classic kidnapping scenario: done by a stranger with intent to keep the child or kill the child, then the number is: 115. Yes, it’s good to be aware of where your child is. But not because creepy perverts are lurking in your neighborhood waiting to snatch him off the street. That is exceedingly rare, as you proved with your own cites. (That’s short for “citations.”) I would certainly never suggest that there are no dangers “lurking” out there. I am merely pointing out that the particular danger that you brought up in this thread – the creepy pervert who wants to snatch children from the street – is so rare that not only is it unlikely to happen to you, it is unlikely to happen to any person you ever know. It is more rare than lightning strikes, more rare than death by choking. And yet it is one of the main things that people cite when they explain why they won’t let their children play outside unattended. That’s ridiculous. You say that even one abducted child is too many. Fine; my response is that living in fear and making your child live in fear and not letting him walk to the bus stop by himself and not letting him play alone in the neighborhood, is a cure that is far, far, far worse than the almost-nonexistent disease. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933/106 "2010-08-05T22:46:22Z")
225 children died on their bicycles in 1997. 800 children accidentally drown each year. About 350 die from accidental gunshot wounds. 3-4 will get killed playing baseball. 50 accidentally poison themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933/107 "2010-08-05T22:51:55Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > 225 children died on their bicycles in 1997. 800 children accidentally drown each year. About 350 die from accidental gunshot wounds. 3-4 will get killed playing baseball. 50 accidentally poison themselves. That does it. No more allowing my child ride her bike. One death is too many. No more allowing my child in the water. One death is too many. No more allowing my child out the house where some random sniper can do her harm. One death is too many. No more allowing my kid to play baseball, one death is too many. No allowing my kid inside my home where I have many cleaning agents and medications. One death is too many. For the love of all that’s holy, please stop digging up these cites. My daughter won’t be able to do anything! ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933/108 "2010-08-05T22:55:33Z")
But sometimes children are killed or abused by their own parents, **Nzinga**. At the rate we’re going, you’ll have to turn her loose if you really want her to survive. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933/109 "2010-08-06T12:46:17Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > > [@Dangerosa](#): > > > > 225 children died on their bicycles in 1997. 800 children accidentally drown each year. About 350 die from accidental gunshot wounds. 3-4 will get killed playing baseball. 50 accidentally poison themselves. > > That does it. No more allowing my child ride her bike. One death is too many. > > No more allowing my child in the water. One death is too many. > > No more allowing my child out the house where some random sniper can do her harm. One death is too many. > > No more allowing my kid to play baseball, one death is too many. > > No allowing my kid inside my home where I have many cleaning agents and medications. One death is too many. > > For the love of all that’s holy, please stop digging up these cites. My daughter won’t be able to do anything! The random sniper wouldn’t be accidental. There are about 3000 children that die from gun related deaths each year, but most of them are not classed as accidental. Sometimes it shocks me that so many parents worry so much about abduction, but I have never had a parent ask me before a play date or overnight “do you keep guns in your home and if so, how are they secured.” Nor have I ever asked that question. Then again, I tend to avoid the helicopter parents and they seem to avoid me and my free range-ness. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933/110 "2010-08-06T14:42:07Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > [ > The random sniper wouldn’t be accidental. What if he was aiming for someone else? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933/111 "2010-08-06T14:45:22Z")
A mercy killing is the only answer. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933/112 "2010-08-06T15:18:54Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > > [@Dangerosa](#): > > > > [ > > The random sniper wouldn’t be accidental. > > What if he was aiming for someone else? Or he was Two-Face and the coin came up heads. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933/113 "2010-08-06T15:25:16Z")
So 3,000 kids are killed by guns on PURPOSE? That’s rough. Who are they pissing off? ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933/114 "2010-08-06T17:02:14Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > So 3,000 kids are killed by guns on PURPOSE? That’s rough. Who are they pissing off? Victims of crime vs. playing with a gun. Like there was a study of the number of children and adolescents killed in drive-by gang shootings in Los Angeles, in 1991. There were 667 — that’s _just_ for LA. If one city can have 667 crime related gun deaths for kids, the 3,000 for the entire U.S. is totally believable. So not being up to date on the thread, did someone shoot the bratty kid in the OP? I thought we’d voted on woodchipper. ---
**Author:** ![IaMoDiNaRy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@IaMoDiNaRy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IaMoDiNaRy)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933/115 "2010-08-06T17:55:39Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Yes, it’s good to be aware of where your child is. But not because creepy perverts are lurking in your neighborhood waiting to snatch him off the street. That is exceedingly rare, as you proved with your own cites. (That’s short for “citations.”) > > I would certainly never suggest that there are no dangers “lurking” out there. I am merely pointing out that the particular danger that you brought up in this thread – the creepy pervert who wants to snatch children from the street – **is so rare that not only is it unlikely to happen to you, it is unlikely to happen to any person you ever know**. It is more rare than lightning strikes, more rare than death by choking. And yet it is one of the main things that people cite when they explain why they won’t let their children play outside unattended. That’s ridiculous. You say that even one abducted child is too many. Fine; my response is that living in fear and making your child live in fear and not letting him walk to the bus stop by himself and not letting him play alone in the neighborhood, is a cure that is far, far, far worse than the almost-nonexistent disease. Okay, here’s my story: I grew up in a quiet, small town where nothing ever happened. “Stranger Danger” wasn’t even mentioned in schools then and really never came up at home because nothing ever happened. When I was 10 years old (1970s), me and 3 friends were walking home from another friends house. I lived about 5 blocks away. It was around 3:30 PM. A white van driven by a dark haired man with very thick black rimmed glasses, white shirt and tie pulled up beside us. We continued to walk and he drove slowly beside us for a few feet. He was asking for directions. We stopped beside the van. He then asked us if we knew where George Street was. My friend “J”(12 years old) left the sidewalk and walked up to the van window to give him directions. As she got right up to the window we heard him say “You ever seen one this big?” (This sounds so hilarious now, LOL) The rest of us, who, at 10 years old, had absolutely no idea what he was talking about, walked up to the van window saying “What? What?”, :smack: noticing too late that “J” was backing away from the van at the same time with a shocked look on her face. We made it to the van window just in time to see that he had his pants unzipped with his ding-dong out standing at full attention! :eek: Then the man started to open the van door. “J” was shouting “Run! Run!” And we did! All the way home. When I got home, I told my older sister what happened. She then told my Mom who called my friends Moms. Then they called the police. We were all interviewed about it individually and we were able to give a VERY good description of the man and his van. About 2 weeks later, late one afternoon I was up in the top of my favorite tree and I heard a police siren. The street I lived on was shaped like a horseshoe. From my perch I could see where the street intersected the main turn in to my neighborhood. The police car was chasing a white van! They pulled him over as I watched. They made the man get out and it was him, the same man. We were pulled from school the next day to go to the police station. They were holding him in a room with a small two way mirror and they wanted each of us to see if it was the same man. I remember being afraid to look at him, worrying that he might be able to see me looking at him. It was him and we were all able to identify him. We learned that he was from a town 30 minutes away and he worked as a salesman for a big cosmetics company. He lost his job and spent a little time in jail. We continued to walk to and from school and to friends houses. We just learned to be more watchful and not to talk to anyone we didn’t know. Things were a lot different back then. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933/116 "2010-08-06T19:43:14Z")
Well, uh, thanks for that. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933/117 "2010-08-06T23:14:43Z")
> [@IaMoDiNaRy](#): > > He lost his job and spent a little time in jail. We continued to walk to and from school and to friends houses. We just learned to be more watchful and not to talk to anyone we didn’t know. Things were a lot different back then. Okay, I’ll bite: What was so different? ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933/118 "2010-08-06T23:23:20Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Okay, I’ll bite: What was so different? The “Thick, black rimmed glasses” that’s SO out of style for 2010. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933/119 "2010-08-07T00:26:00Z")
> [@Eats\_Crayons](#): > > > [@Rilchiam](#): > > > > Okay, I’ll bite: What was so different? > > The “Thick, black rimmed glasses” that’s SO out of style for 2010. And apparently kidnapped and flashed meant the same thing back then. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933/120 "2010-08-07T00:56:38Z")
> [@Spud](#): > > And apparently kidnapped and flashed meant the same thing back then. Oh, shit! In the ninth grade a man sneaked into my high school and flashed my friend and a few classmates. Now you’re telling, me they were abducted??? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bratty-kid-am-i-over-reacting/548933.md?page=7)