Bratty kid? Am I over-reacting?

In My Humble Opinion
141

Here are 11 example cases used by the study you cite. In some cases, the child was never in any danger at all, they were just “concealed” (the study’s words) from their parents. Also, many of the cases recount episodes of acquaintance rape of teenagers, not small children being approached by perverts, like you’re saying the numbers show.

A 17-year-old girl’s ex-boyfriend forced her from her parked car, threw her into his car, and took her to a shopping mall parking lot where he detained her by force for 4 hours. The girl’s mother became alarmed when her daughter’s employer called to see why the girl had not shown up for work. Upon receiving the call from the employer, the mother drove to the girl’s workplace, saw her abandoned car, then called the police to locate the missing child. (Caretaker and reported missing)

A 14-year-old boy was hunting in a park when a strange man appeared, claiming that the boy was trespassing on his property. This was not the case. Nonetheless, the “property owner” detained the boy at gunpoint and forced him to remove his outer garments to see if he had any weapons other than his shotgun. Then, the “property owner” forced the boy into the woods at gunpoint. When the boy did not return home on time, the caretaker became alarmed and tried to find him. When the boy returned home, the police and the park warden were contacted. (Caretaker missing)

A 4-year-old boy was taken on a 20-mile joyride by the schoolbus driver after the rest of the children had been dropped off at their homes. No force or threat was used to transport or detain the child; however, the bus driver concealed the child’s whereabouts. When the child did not come home at the usual time, the alarmed caretaker called the school and bus company to locate the child. Then, upon finding out where the child was, the caretaker contacted the police to recover the child. This episode lasted 7 hours. (Caretaker missing)

A babysitter refused to let three children, ages 4, 7, and 10, go home until she was paid for prior babysitting. The babysitter detained the children against their will and did not allow the alarmed caretaker to contact the children because she did not answer the phone. When the babysitter finally answered the phone, she lied, telling the caretaker that the children were on their way home. The caretaker called the police to recover the children from a known location. (Not missing)

A 17-year-old girl was on a date with a long-term acquaintance (a 17-year-old boy) who took her in a car to a dark, secluded area on a mountain, where he tried to rape her. The girl was detained by force and sexually assaulted. In this case, the caretaker was not concerned nor did she call the police because she figured the girl would come home. (Not missing)

A 13-year-old girl was hanging out with “bad kids” (according to her caretaker) and grabbed by a 17-year-old male friend (not a romantic friend) who tried to sexually assault her. The perpetrator used threats and force to take her to his home, where he used force to detain her. The police were called for a reason other than to locate or recover the child. (Not missing)

A 9-year-old girl was lured into the perpetrator’s camper trailer with an offer of candy. The perpetrator, a 35-yearold male, detained the child by force in the trailer for an hour while he sexually assaulted her. The police were called for a reason other than to locate or recover the child, and the perpetrator was arrested. (Not missing)

A 15-year-old girl was lured by a friend into the hallway at school, then pushed 25 feet into the boys’ bathroom by some older boys who detained her by force and sexually assaulted her before she managed to escape screaming. The school contacted the police to report the crime and the boys were arrested. (Not missing)

A 10-year-old girl was lured with candy and money by an 85-year-old male neighbor and long-term acquaintance into his home, where he sexually assaulted the child. The caretaker did not contact police because she said she had no concrete evidence and the child was not injured. (Not missing)

A 17-year-old boy was with a very recent male acquaintance at the perpetrator’s home. The perpetrator detained the boy for an hour by force and sexually assaulted him. The police were not called because the caretaker did not find out about the episode until more than a year later. (Not missing)

A 17-year-old girl was forcibly detained and sexually assaulted in a parking lot at a football game by a 25-year-old male who was an ordinary friend and long-term acquaintance. The police were not called because the girl did not tell her parents. The respondent in this interview was the victim’s older sister. (Not missing)

http://www.missingkids.com/en_US/documents/nismart2_nonfamily.pdf

In closing: The study does not say what you think it says.

142

We’re talking overall statistics, not individual cases. That doesn’t tell me anything. Lots of violence you posted there, though, so it just backs me up on how it’s best to know where your kids are. Thanks for that.

143

Those are just examples to show you what the stats mean. The stats may say that a large number of children were kidnapped. But kidnapped doesn’t always mean that a stranger took an unknown child away and the kid was never found. It can mean that, but more often, it’s more like what Justin described upthread. The kid’s whereabouts are known, for one thing, so abducted doesn’t always mean still missing.

144

Thanks, FS, for that clarification. I think that’s pretty well understood by all, I think. I’ve read several of the web sites about this subject and I’ve mentioned my friend who works with missing children cases a couple of times. Abducted means taken against your will, whether your returned unharmed or not. That’s all I’ve said from the very beginning. I’ve never said anything remotely like “abducted never to be heard from again”.

And to be honest, I’m done. I’ve expressed my opinion over and over and over. It’s MY opinion and everyone else is free to believe what they want to believe. PERIOD.

Thanks for all the responses, though. Some of it was interesting. :wink:

145

Yes, but you’re making it sound as though abduction means some guy pulls up in a van and absconds with you. These stats are showing that those cases are relatively rare.

146

You’re entitled to your own opinion. You’re not entitled to your own facts.

147

Oh, I’m serious. The school put out a calendar with last week’s free paper. About a quarter of the way down the 2nd grade list is “64 #2 pencils”. Further down the list they ask for “40 Dixon Ticonderoga #2 pencils”. This in addition to certain brands of crayons (Crayola) and scissors (Fiskars) and glue sticks (Elmer’s), not to mention that every kid in his class of 20-25 is expected to bring a 4 pack of dry erase markers, a ream of copy paper, a box of Ziploc brand gallon bags, a box of Kleenex brand tissues…

I wonder if the second graders are supplying the entire school with white board markers while the third graders are expected to bring, you know, chalk or whatever, and the fourth graders supply the erasers, and the fifth graders all have to bring… OH! And I have to send him with $2.25 for an “art sketchbook”. He got one in kindergarten, too, that took him through the first grade. You know what I’m paying $2.25 for? A FUCKING NOTEBOOK. I just bought 5 of the damned things at Wal-Mart for like twenty-five cents a piece, so WTF?

Anyway, eff the public school budget cuts because honestly, this is ridiculous. I’m waiting for notes from the teacher asking us to supply “Good Job!” stickers and stamps and for the school library to start charging a dollar for check outs. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

IaMoDiNaRy, I appreciate you trying to stick up for me, I really do. And I didn’t call you asinine, I said claiming that a man who intentionally exposes himself to children would get nothing more than a “slap on the wrist” is asinine. It’s not true and trying to pass it off as fact is more than a little ridiculous.

148

Okay. Fucking FACEBOOK. I don’t even know why I have these stupid assholes on my friend’s list because I didn’t even like most of them when I actually knew them IRL and yet there they are crapping up my news feed being a bunch of can’t-fucking-spell, no-grammar-having, stupid stupid assholes.

Current status update: “Love is evil spell it back wards i dare ya”

Me, in my head: “I hate you and I hope you get hit by a truck today. Why are you on my friend’s list at all you stupid, stupid asshole.”

Me, as a comment to his status update: “… evol? You know, if you add a ‘ve’ on the end of that, it would essentially say ‘grow up’.” And I wish Facebook had a :rolleyes: because, aside from being green and cartoonish and, uh… having no nose or hair… that is EXACTLY what I looked like. What a stupid asshole.

Honestly. What a stupid thing to say.

149

Moderator note:

Silver Fire, please keep your editorial comments on other people’s posts outside the quote tags.

150

Spectre, WTF? See here: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12777919#post12777919

As for the OP, seems like people gave up discussing the actual topic over a page ago. So I guess nobody cares anymore.

My thoughts are that at 7 and 9, if I wanted to go see my friend down the street, I would have to let my parents know, and if I went to his house I would have to knock on the door. Actually knock or ring the bell, and talk to his parents. “Hello, Mrs. R, is John home? Can I come in?” Same thing other way. Okay, he had a fence so I couldn’t have gone to his bedroom window anyway, but he very much could come to my window and bypass the front of the house, but we just didn’t do it that way. Parents’ rules.

Or use the phone, back when we just had the one (okay, we had two or three handsets, but only one line).

I think by 7 I could ride my bike down the street, but only down the street. By 9 IIRC I could circle the block. Or maybe that was 10.

My opinion: it is perfectly acceptable for you to enforce your rules at your house, including rules about how to properly request your son come out and play (no scratching on glass or talking through window, must come to door and ring bell/knock loudly; having respectful attitude toward you as the adult; etc). No, I don’t think you are exhibiting helicopterness just by bitching on an internet board.

151

Honestly, Silver Fire, it seems to me like you asked for opinions on whether or not you were over-reacting, but as soon as someone says something negative about your interpretation of the events, you immediately point out how your interpretation is, in fact, more accurate. If you didn’t want other people’s opinions, why did you ask for them?

152

Huh. Did not realize thread was three pages long and so did not realize that my point had already been made several times and the topic had effectively changed. My bad. Everyone please ignore previous post.