# Brave brave AMERICA, he he he **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 20, 2002, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689 "2002-04-20T18:00:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![stankow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@stankow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stankow)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689/61 "2002-04-22T00:35:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by POWER\_station \* > \*\*the story illustrates a bad attitude \*\* Sigh. No, you claim it does. All it actually illustrates is that you’ll accept a fictional tale as “proof” of something that you already agree with. Look, nearly any American will admit that we throw our weight around, and that we occasionally do so irrationally. But you don’t need to invent examples of it. Doing so only makes your own position seem less tenable. ---
**Author:** ![POWER\_station](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@POWER\_station](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/POWER_station)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689/62 "2002-04-22T00:37:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*Yes, but the story is not true. So what have you proven so far, POWER\_station? \*\* let’s face it: this story could have been true 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689/63 "2002-04-22T00:46:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by POWER\_station \* > \*\*let’s face it: this story could have been true 😉 \*\* What, like Americans are alone in feeling tough sometimes? Sheesh. All you’ve done is shown you’re willing to post false stories in an attempt to smear Americans, and remain bullheaded once people point out your error and arrogance. Methinks you’re the one acting like the fictional ship in the face of the lighthouse here. ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689/64 "2002-04-22T00:47:50Z")
> [@](#): > > The thread has taken a turd for the Norse. Touche, Ike. ---
**Author:** ![stankow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@stankow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stankow)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689/65 "2002-04-22T00:50:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by POWER\_station \* > \*\*let’s face it: this story could have been true 😉 \*\* No, it couldn’t have. One – lighthouses aren’t manned anymore. Two – a U.S. naval ship would have known its position relative to anything big enough to need a lighthouse. Three – a lighthouse wouldn’t say “divert course to avoid a collision.” It would say “You are this close to shore” and let the ship figure out how to avoid a collision. Four – it wouldn’t be a “collision.” Ships don’t “collide” with land. Five – aircraft carriers don’t come that close to shore without one of their escort vehicles already being out in front of it. And that’s just the first five things that came into my mind. There are probably dozens more. ---
**Author:** ![POWER\_station](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@POWER\_station](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/POWER_station)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689/66 "2002-04-22T00:53:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stankow \* > \*\* > > No, it couldn’t have. > > One – lighthouses aren’t manned anymore. > Two – a U.S. naval ship would have known its position relative to anything big enough to need a lighthouse. > Three – a lighthouse wouldn’t say “divert course to avoid a collision.” It would say “You are this close to shore” and let the ship figure out how to avoid a collision. > Four – it wouldn’t be a “collision.” Ships don’t “collide” with land. > Five – aircraft carriers don’t come that close to shore without one of their escort vehicles already being out in front of it. > > And that’s just the first five things that came into my mind. There are probably dozens more. \*\* I think you missed the point here ---
**Author:** ![stankow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@stankow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stankow)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689/67 "2002-04-22T00:55:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by POWER\_station \* > \*\*I think you missed the point here \*\* Unfortunately, as I was typing the MOST OBVIOUS reasons for this story to have been an utter pile of crap, **DeniseV** posted the most apt comparison yet. **POWER\_station,** your new name is **AIRCRAFT\_carrier.** ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689/68 "2002-04-22T01:05:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ukulele Ike \* > \*\*Ah, I was afraid of that. > > The thread has taken a turd for the Norse. \*\* _Picks up a shoe to throw it at Ike…_ Ahhh, s’low a pun, why bother? ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689/69 "2002-04-22T07:34:29Z")
Gee, I’m normally quite happy to make the odd snide comment about dumb Americans (though you’re all nice poeple face to face :)), but that’s a really poor post **POWER\_station**. You’re just an idiot. You’re worse than an idiot. You’re a dumb idiot, so there! nyah nyah nya nyah nyah!! ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689/70 "2002-04-22T13:32:48Z")
Wow, you’ve amazed me, **POWER\_station** You don’t fight ignorance. You go to Ignorance R’ Us, buy ignorance in bulk, take it to your home in Ignoranceville on the outskirts of Ignorancecity, where you are Mayor. You spread your Ignorance wherever you go and wallow in ignorance all the live long day. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689/71 "2002-04-22T13:54:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by POWER\_station \* > \*\* > > I think you missed the point here \*\* God, I’m going tp regret this… What point was that? ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689/72 "2002-04-22T14:25:16Z")
At this point one can only speculate one kind of “power” he’s running on. Perhaps flatuence? ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689/73 "2002-04-22T14:43:36Z")
> [@](#): > > What point was that? The one atop its cranium? ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689/74 "2002-04-22T14:57:31Z")
Hey Fenris! I think we got another member for the SDBM “One Trick Pony” Chowder and Marching Society. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689/75 "2002-04-22T16:34:36Z")
I think of **POWER\_station’s** post as being more of a sermon; a fable; a proverb. He is the Messiah!;j ---
**Author:** ![zut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zut/32/2875_2.png) [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689/76 "2002-04-22T17:24:11Z")
And though they did not believe, the **POWER\_station** went unto them, and spoke in parables, saying: > [@](#): > > Listen unto me, all you peoples, for there once was a land of great renown, of which I will speak slightingly. From this land, a US Navy Vessel went forth, and the Vessel did approach the Canadians. And the Canadians spake unto the Vessel, saying, “Thou must divert thine course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision.” > > And the Vessel heard, and in its mightiness replied, “Nay, for we recommend you divert thy course 15 degrees to the North to avoid collision.” And the Canadians, and the Vessel, each spake one to the other, until the Canadians had fulfilled the requisite three speakings necessary for a good parable. > > And upon the third declaration, the mighty Vessel waxed wroth, and did say in all caps, “LO! THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER, USS LINCOLN, THE MIGHTIEST OF THE MIGHTY. WE, IN OUR MIGHTINESS, ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE THY COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH… I SAY AGAIN UNTO THEE, 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTERMEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP AND ITS ESCORT VESSELS.” > > Upon this speaking, the Canadians heard and replied, “We’re a Lighthouse. The call is thine.” At the hearing of this parable, the disciples of the Straight Dope became troubled, and muttered among themselves, and asked the **POWER\_station** , “What, then, is the meaning of this parable? For it is neither true, nor does it make any sense.” And the **POWER\_station** replied, “Lo, you unbelievers, I thought I had a point, but I’m not really sure what it was, and anyway, that just illustrates my point.” At this, the disciples were puzzled, for they were unused to pointless drivel. And so they spake again, as one, saying, “Thou art a doofus, and thy parables make no sense.” And the **POWER\_station** replied, “Well, you’re missing the point, whatever it is, and, y’know, I’m really just gonna start making shit up here, and insist that I’ve really put one over on you, just like a second-grader, and hope nobody notices that I’m just acting like an imbecile.” And the disciples were disgusted, and remembered the words of the great Uncle Cecil, and knew the **POWER\_station** for a false prophet, a scion of ignorance, and a shame upon his own house. And the disciples rolled their eyes, and made smart comments, and drifted away, one by one, to leave the imbecile to wallow in his sad wretchedness and fling feces at passers-by. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689/77 "2002-04-22T17:50:11Z")
**zut** is my new Messiah. I roll my eyes in the way He commanded :rolleyes:. Get thee behind me **POWER\_station**. I cast you out. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Truth\_Seeker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Truth\_Seeker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truth_Seeker)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689/78 "2002-04-22T18:27:12Z")
_This is a transcript of an conversation between **POWER-station** and an American tourist in 2002. Released by **POWER-station’s** social worker._ An American is walking down the street when he sees **POWER-station** with a very long pole and a yardstick. He’s standing the pole on its end and trying to reach the top of it with his yardstick. Seeing **POWER-station’s** ignorance, the American wrenches the pole out of his hand, lays it on the sidewalk, measures it with the yardstick, and says, “There! 10 feet long.” **POWER-station** grabs the yardstick and shouts, “You idiot American! I don’t care how long it is! I want to know how high it is!” Perhaps this story isn’t actually true. But let’s face it: this story could have been true. It certainly illustrates a point. ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689/79 "2002-04-22T18:45:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by POWER\_station \* > \*\* > > let’s face it: this story could have been true 😉 \*\* Yes, yes it could be true. And if I could shit nickels, I wouldn’t worry about feeding the parking meter. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689/80 "2002-04-22T18:57:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zappo \* > \*\* > > Yes, yes it could be true. > > And if I could shit nickels, I wouldn’t worry about feeding the parking meter. \*\* Won’t somebody think of the poor meter maids? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brave-brave-america-he-he-he/104689.md?page=5)