# brazil84: preening, sexist, self-imortant, gynophobic douche **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 25, 2011, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brazil84-preening-sexist-self-imortant-gynophobic-douche/594046 "2011-08-25T15:57:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brazil84-preening-sexist-self-imortant-gynophobic-douche/594046/261 "2011-08-28T15:51:52Z")
What kills me is that his attitude makes him unfit for the leadership role he wants so much. He says he’d want to be the one making the decisions, _even if his wife had better judgment than him._ That strikes me as some pretty shitty judgment, right there–why wouldn’t you want the person with the best decision-making skills to be the one making the decisions? That’s just really, really dumb. And fyi, although I tend to do most of the housework and my husband tends to take care of the bills, he would piss himself cackling if anybody suggested he might be the boss of me. Or maybe in fear, since I’m the one allowed to use the power saws… ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brazil84-preening-sexist-self-imortant-gynophobic-douche/594046/262 "2011-08-28T16:05:07Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > Can we agree on one thing? Women don’t want to be ‘led’. They don’t want to be led any more than the slaves that still exist want to be led. Those men that want to subjugate women or any person are no better than an owner of slaves. > > There are thousands of women on this board. If any 1. > > 1 . any one. > > 1. > > Any. > > One. > > If there are there any women on this board that likes to be led, bullied and pushed around by their husband, please speak up. We will try to help. What would you say to a woman in a 24/7 D/s power-exchange relationship? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brazil84-preening-sexist-self-imortant-gynophobic-douche/594046/263 "2011-08-28T16:15:42Z")
To get fucking therapy. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brazil84-preening-sexist-self-imortant-gynophobic-douche/594046/264 "2011-08-28T16:24:14Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > What kills me is that his attitude makes him unfit for the leadership role he wants so much. He says he’d want to be the one making the decisions, _even if his wife had better judgment than him._ That strikes me as some pretty shitty judgment, right there–why wouldn’t you want the person with the best decision-making skills to be the one making the decisions? That’s just really, really dumb. > > And fyi, although I tend to do most of the housework and my husband tends to take care of the bills, he would piss himself cackling if anybody suggested he might be the boss of me. Or maybe in fear, since I’m the one allowed to use the power saws… Yes, back when I was married I did all the “women’s chores”, the washing, cooking, cleaning, etc, and my husband did all the “man’s chores” keeping the car running, mowing the lawn, all that outside stuff. And we did it that way because I loathed outdoor work as much as he loathed indoor work, not because of how gender traditionally divides such work. Neither one of us was “in charge”, we simply each had our own talents and preferences. ---
**Author:** ![jlzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brazil84-preening-sexist-self-imortant-gynophobic-douche/594046/265 "2011-08-28T20:41:01Z")
I’ve noticed that the alternative organic small farm movement attracts a number of fundamentalist families that assume very traditional gender roles. (They’re also really big on home schooling but that’s a topic for another thread) The women care for the house, children and garden mostly and sell the produce or eggs at the market booth. They never wear shorts or pants (simple long dresses or skirts), do not cut their hair, and wear no cosmetics. None are Amish or Mennonites. I certainly can’t speak for all of them-however, I have had business dealings with a number of such families. In the ones that I’ve come to know more intimately, I have noticed a distinct tension, even anger that is never acknowledged. It’s a little difficult to describe as you really have to hear the tone or observe the nuances of behavior. A few examples: I (and I am female) offered to help the husband lift some coolers. My spouse was not on property and the coolers each weighed about 150 plus pounds. The wife adamantly refused to let me assist him, to the point of stepping between me and said coolers, insisting that it was _his_ job. I watched the poor guy grunt and struggle with each one. I didn’t care enough to confront her-I just thought it very weird behavior. On another farm, the wife got upset when I started hoisting feed sacks into my truck and asked me stop until she could fetch her husband. Once again, she reiterated that I was doing _his_ work. The sacks weren’t heavy. One of the men I know asked me a chicken related question. I laughed and replied “That’s Terry’s department.” I’m CFO and he’s CTO. Terry has no clue as to whether we’re solvent this week (which was said somewhat for effect) and I don’t have any idea on how to do that." I then explained that we had divided up the business into various departments based on our skills. Jim looked at me wistfully and said “I wish I didn’t have to decide everything but that’s my job.” Another patriarchial farmer I’ve known for years is fixing to have divorce papers served on him this year because his wife has decided that, after being married for 35 years and raising 8 children, she just doesn’t want to reliquish all authority anymore. This is a huge step for her. She was very outwardly submissive for years. I remember the same woman whispering to me that she was sick of feeding the kids the same meal every night because they were very low on fresh food but he had decided that she wasn’t to buy anymore gorceries until every little last thing in the refrigerator had been eaten. I could go on and I realize that this is rather flimsy anecdotal evidence but when I watch the interactions in these families, there’s a definite undercurrent of animosity, projected largely by the women but also by some of the men. Oddly enough, most of the kids run like hell as soon as they turn 18. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brazil84-preening-sexist-self-imortant-gynophobic-douche/594046/266 "2011-08-28T20:54:49Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > What kills me is that his attitude makes him unfit for the leadership role he wants so much. He says he’d want to be the one making the decisions, _even if his wife had better judgment than him._ Not only that, but he’s basically saying his wife has poorer judgment than he does. Doesn’t exactly scream ‘‘equal partnership’’ to me. ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brazil84-preening-sexist-self-imortant-gynophobic-douche/594046/267 "2011-08-28T21:05:40Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Not only that, but he’s basically saying his wife has poorer judgment than he does. Doesn’t exactly scream ‘‘equal partnership’’ to me. Well it could be comparative advantage at work. Maybe his wife is better than him at EVERYTHING, but only has time to do some of it. So she focuses on the areas where her advantage is greatest. He might be so bad at housework that they fear him making toast would burn the house to the ground, so he is left to focus on the areas he can screw up least. Probably not, but I’m trying to think in the best light possible. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brazil84-preening-sexist-self-imortant-gynophobic-douche/594046/268 "2011-08-28T21:14:03Z")
Honestly if they’re happy with their arrangement, I don’t care. I just take umbrage at the notion that he has any special insight into what ‘‘most’’ women truly want. ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brazil84-preening-sexist-self-imortant-gynophobic-douche/594046/269 "2011-08-28T21:18:02Z")
Trust me, I agree. The post was meant very tongue in cheek. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brazil84-preening-sexist-self-imortant-gynophobic-douche/594046/270 "2011-08-28T23:45:38Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > What would you say to a woman in a 24/7 D/s power-exchange relationship? “What is your bidding, Mistress?” ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brazil84-preening-sexist-self-imortant-gynophobic-douche/594046/271 "2011-08-29T00:04:44Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Honestly if they’re happy with their arrangement, I don’t care. I just take umbrage at the notion that he has any special insight into what ‘‘most’’ women truly want. That was my basic point in the thread, as well. I don’t think he knows (or cares) how fucking arrogant it is to suggest that he knows more about what women want and their motives for wanting it, than women themselves. It’s not even worth wasting breath on someone who thinks like that, I think he’s far too stubborn to admit he might be wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2011, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brazil84-preening-sexist-self-imortant-gynophobic-douche/594046/272 "2011-08-30T23:12:04Z")
> [@Omg\_a\_Black\_Conservative](#): > > ‘Dirty work’, which includes all the things that women generally don’t do or don’t want to do (i.e., **physical labor** ) Oh, I think a woman or two has gone through physical labor… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brazil84-preening-sexist-self-imortant-gynophobic-douche/594046.md?page=13)