# Break up via text - ever not bush? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 26, 2013, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969 "2013-06-26T17:29:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969/1 "2013-06-26T17:29:17Z")
A person in their young 20s recently told me their SO broke up with them via text. Certainly not the end of the world, but to this 50+ yr old, the idea of breaking up via text just impressed me as majorly bush. Similar to (in my day) leaving a message on a phone machine. Are there any circumstances underwhich a text breakup is not chickenshit? FWIW, both parties live in the same medium-sized town - within walking distance of each other. There had been no single event causing the breakup. It was likely that in a couple of months one of the two would move some distance away. They’d been going out for maybe 5-6 months, seeing each other exclusively and quite regularly. ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969/2 "2013-06-26T17:33:51Z")
I agree you have to be a chickenshit to break up via text. Of course, it seems Facebook breakups are all the rage these days. In any case, if one looks at it objectively, why is it really a problem? If anything, it should make the breakup-ee feel better that he/she isn’t with such a coward. ---
**Author:** ![Altivu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@Altivu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Altivu)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969/3 "2013-06-26T17:55:34Z")
While I don’t support text break-ups, relationships nowadays seem to be filled with a lot more insecurities than in the past (no cites, feel free to disagree); it’s usually a result of the breakee thinking that (s)he’s doing both of them a favour because “my SO probably doesn’t want to see my face anyways.” That, and they don’t want to deal with the backlash, so yeah I guess that still makes it cowardly by definition. So what are you going to tell people who do such a thing? Grow a pair? ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969/4 "2013-06-26T17:56:54Z")
…‘bush’? From context, I’m guessing it means something like ‘cowardly’ or ‘asshole-ish’. I need to know the location and decade where that originated! Never heard it before. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969/5 "2013-06-26T18:04:51Z")
“Bush” as in “bush league,” a term from baseball. It refers to teams from small rural towns where the standard of play isn’t up to that of major league baseball. So it can mean unsophisticated, crude, or below expectations. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969/6 "2013-06-26T18:29:27Z")
Huh. Never heard the term either. LOL’d at “phone machine” though. Breakups via text are fine if you haven’t been seeing each other for long, aren’t exclusive, etc. IMHO. However, there’s no distinct line between fine and not-fine, since everyone forms their own opinions about how much a relationship means, so what’s totally OK … errr, bush … for one couple would be a massive misstep for another. ---
**Author:** ![JerrySTL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e274bd/32.png) [@JerrySTL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerrySTL)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969/7 "2013-06-26T18:34:47Z")
I remember when Phil Collins, the singer/drummer in Genesis, told his wife that he was divorcing her with a fax. Technology sure has gotten better. People, on the other hand, are still asses. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969/8 "2013-06-26T18:39:03Z")
Thanks for the responses. Just trying to figure out what folk consider appropriate interaction today. Wondered if this qualified the one party as a “bad breaker upper.” Glad to amuse the whippersnappers with my use of archaic terminology, and references to stoneage technology. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969/9 "2013-06-26T18:42:16Z")
Could be worse, I guess. It could be a tweet. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969/10 "2013-06-26T18:45:35Z")
> [@JerrySTL](#): > > I remember when Phil Collins, the singer/drummer in Genesis, told his wife that he was divorcing her with a fax. Could be worse. He could be divorcing her with a lawyer. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969/11 "2013-06-26T18:48:02Z")
Pretty chickenshit. If it’s someone you’ve gone on a few dates with, you can tell them via text that you’re not interested, but that’s lame if you’ve been dating for a few months. Weak. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969/12 "2013-06-26T19:19:30Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Huh. Never heard the term either. LOL’d at “phone machine” though. > > Breakups via text are fine if you haven’t been seeing each other for long, aren’t exclusive, etc. IMHO. However, there’s no distinct line between fine and not-fine, since everyone forms their own opinions about how much a relationship means, so what’s totally OK … errr, bush … for one couple would be a massive misstep for another. Umm…massive misstep and bush mean the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969/13 "2013-06-26T19:44:03Z")
I’ve never heard the term “bush” used in that context either. I’ve heard “bush league”, but thought of that as meaning inferior or not up to standard. And breakup by text is tacky. StG ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969/14 "2013-06-26T19:54:42Z")
I’ve often used and heard use bush as synonymous with “bad form”. But, bush can also be used to signify different connotations - amateurish, subpar, and others. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969/15 "2013-06-26T19:59:15Z")
I think it depends on the circumstances; in my case it would have been preferable. I had to drive all the way out to my now ex-girlfriend’s only to have her tell me she was breaking up with me (which I knew), then drive all the way back. Text would have been easier for everyone. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969/16 "2013-06-26T20:35:11Z")
I was about to chide myself for being completely ignorant of the latest slang. But now I’m going to chide the OP for assuming we would know precisely what he meant. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969/17 "2013-06-26T20:51:17Z")
> [@Red\_Barchetta](#): > > I think it depends on the circumstances; in my case it would have been preferable. I had to drive all the way out to my now ex-girlfriend’s only to have her tell me she was breaking up with me (which I knew), then drive all the way back. > > Text would have been easier for everyone. Phone call would have seemed more personal, but that’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969/18 "2013-06-26T21:42:20Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > I’ve often used and heard use bush as synonymous with “bad form”. But, bush can also be used to signify different connotations - amateurish, subpar, and others. My dad says it all the time; you’re the first person other than him I’ve ever heard it from. ---
**Author:** ![Bartman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@Bartman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bartman)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969/19 "2013-06-26T23:22:03Z")
I’ve was dumped via text last year. And I am in my 40s. It was the primary form of communication between us. That’s how we set our first date. It was how we decided we were exclusive. It felt a bit impersonal, but honestly seemed natural given the relationship. I can’t imagine ever doing it that way myself. But I won’t complain to much about it either. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969/20 "2013-06-26T23:59:26Z")
I just broke up with someone via text, about 5 minutes ago. Granted, we had only been dating for about 6 weeks or so but it was a break-up nonetheless. In this case though, a lot of our not-in-person communication was in text-form, so this was just more of the same. It was at the end of a rather lengthy text conversation. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/break-up-via-text-ever-not-bush/661969.md?page=2)