# Breakfasts gone horribly wrong **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 30, 2009, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729 "2009-07-30T00:31:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/41 "2009-07-31T04:32:07Z")
My mom worked for General Mills and I “volunteered” to be a tester for their ideas. The worst was one I will never forget called “Disney Surprise Hot Oatmeal Cereal”. It was standard instant oatmeal with bits of oatmeal covered fruit bits shaped like Mickey Mouse et al. That wasn’t the surprise though. Adding hot water to the oatmeal turned its color. The first one was blood red. Not that the green was any better, but red oatmeal? I’m still traumatized. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/42 "2009-07-31T07:02:31Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > My mom worked for General Mills and I “volunteered” to be a tester for their ideas. The worst was one I will never forget called “Disney Surprise Hot Oatmeal Cereal”. It was standard instant oatmeal with bits of oatmeal covered fruit bits shaped like Mickey Mouse et al. That wasn’t the surprise though. Adding hot water to the oatmeal turned its color. The first one was blood red. Not that the green was any better, but red oatmeal? I’m still traumatized. BRAAAIIINS!!! Not nearly as bad as most of these- I microwaved some tater tots & grabbed what I thought was the seasoned salt & shook. Cinnamon. NOT terrible, but not something I plan on repeating either. ---
**Author:** ![wolf-alice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9e8a1a/32.png) [@wolf-alice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf-alice)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/43 "2009-07-31T10:25:50Z")
Discovered by my ex-boyfriend’s sister (convoluted!) If you’re making a full English breakfast, are those: 1. plum tomatoes, or 2. plums? 'Cause, turns out, there’s a difference. ---
**Author:** ![JoseArcadio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc348/32.png) [@JoseArcadio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseArcadio)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/44 "2009-07-31T11:24:15Z")
Have forgotten to boil the kettle when making tea or coffee a couple of times. Usually spot that something’s not right before putting the cup to my lips but not always… bluch! ---
**Author:** ![Meurglys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/258eb7/32.png) [@Meurglys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meurglys)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/45 "2009-07-31T12:16:44Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > his Van de Graaf generator need tuning up, and I think I’ve said too much already. That’s a common complaint from people who don’t like the group! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/46 "2009-07-31T16:30:14Z")
I’ve been trying to boost my protein intake lately and have, as a result, been eating lots of cottage cheese and yogurt. Unfortunately, I picked up the wrong carton of cottage cheese from the fridge last week - it was the one I’d meant to throw out because it had apparently gotten shoved to the back of the fridge and had been completely forgotten. It’s going to be a long, long time before I’ll be able to eat cottage cheese again. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/47 "2009-07-31T16:52:04Z")
> [@Paintcharge](#): > > Oh yeah, I’ve done that. Even the dog wouldn’t touch it, and she eats deer poop. I loath the whole “LOL” thing, but in this particular case I really, honestly, did laugh out loud. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/48 "2009-07-31T17:13:44Z")
> [@Mooch](#): > > You poured **music** over it? You sure that was not a box of shrooms? The typo was funny enough, but this had me giggling uncontrollably. The OP was also hilarious, and I’m just loving this thread. I talk about the coffee paradox because it strikes me so often. It goes like this: 1. Before I can wake up, I need to make coffee. 2. Before I can make coffee, I need to wake up. I cannot count how many times I have started the coffeepot and gotten either nothing (because I forgot to add water) or, worse, a pot of hot water (because I forgot to add coffee). My wife mocked me for it until one morning she thoughtfully decided to make coffee for me, and I came downstairs to the pot of hot water she’d brewed. My worst breakfast experience ever was when I decided to make biscuits in my mom’s kitchen. I followed a normal recipe, with just two unintended variations: 1. Instead of using normal flour, I used gluten flour (which looks just like regular flour); and 2. I baked them in my mom’s oven, which turned out to be a combination convection oven/microwave. I think the microwave setting was on. MY first hint that there was a problem was the smell of smoke. The biscuits never did brown on the outside, but they did gray, from the escaping smoke from their charcoal hearts. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/49 "2009-07-31T17:21:25Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I talk about the coffee paradox because it strikes me so often. It goes like this: > > 1. Before I can wake up, I need to make coffee. > 2. Before I can make coffee, I need to wake up. > > I cannot count how many times I have started the coffeepot and gotten either nothing (because I forgot to add water) or, worse, a pot of hot water (because I forgot to add coffee). My wife mocked me for it until one morning she thoughtfully decided to make coffee for me, and I came downstairs to the pot of hot water she’d brewed. My husband has that problem. We settled on a Cuisinart Grind-and-Brew coffeemaker with a programmable clock/timer. Load the beans and water the night before, wake up with coffee already made and waiting. The caveat is that you need to be not overly tired and not distracted while loading in the beans and water. We’ve had just hot water a morning or two. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/50 "2009-07-31T17:29:25Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > Really? That \*sounds \*good, but I’ll take your word for it. > Orange Juice on Cheerios is just awful. I didn’t even realize I’d done it till I took a bite. :smack: So’s Hawaiian Punch on Rice Krispies. However, I had requested it, so my mom presented the horrid conconction to me again at lunch and dinner before giving in and letting me have something edible for breakfast the next day. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/51 "2009-07-31T17:44:23Z")
Also, read the label carefully before mixing Metamucil into your SO’s morning OJ. Teaspoon and tablespoon measures are not interchangeable. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/52 "2009-07-31T17:55:13Z")
I know somebody who once brushed their teeth with Preperation H Hemmorhoidal Cream, not breakfast perse but I’ll bet the taste was hard to get rid of during breakfast. ---
**Author:** ![TheFaerie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c57346/32.png) [@TheFaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFaerie)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/53 "2009-07-31T18:38:30Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > My husband has that problem. We settled on a Cuisinart Grind-and-Brew coffeemaker with a programmable clock/timer. Load the beans and water the night before, wake up with coffee already made and waiting. > > The caveat is that you need to be not overly tired and not distracted while loading in the beans and water. We’ve had just hot water a morning or two. Or waking up to hot coffee pouring all over the counter because someone forgot to put the pot back in place. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/54 "2009-07-31T18:52:41Z")
Does stepping in a bowl of Cream of Wheat count? One night (yes, night) when I was about 12 or so I made up a bowl of Cream of Wheat, set it down and forgot where I had left it. I never did find it at that point, so I either made another bowl or just let it go and ate something else. It wasn’t until the next morning that I walked into the living room and felt something cold and gooshy on my foot, having stepped in what I meant to eat the night before. My cousin poured her Coke into Cocoa Pebbles once. She took a bite and decided it was pretty good, so she continued eating it. I thought she was weird for doing this. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/55 "2009-08-01T19:20:15Z")
All of my attempts at making myself a breakfast have been pretty much universally disasterous. Oh yes I think I’ll do myself a nice English fry up,except that I end up with burnt eggs,burned toast and everything else is either cold,or if I’m lucky lukewarm. Thats why I gave up even trying. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/56 "2009-08-01T19:43:34Z")
When I was a kid, I woke up before everyone else one Saturday morning and decided to make myself some oatmeal for breakfast. Making the oatmeal was easy - it was instant and I cooked it in the microwave, but when it was done, I wanted to sprinkle some cinnamon on it. I was just barely tall enough to reach the spice cupboard, and I found the cinnamon jar, but when I sprinkled some on my oatmeal, it didn’t taste right. So I added some more, but it still wasn’t right. Turns out I was a little too young to spell “cinnamon” - I had added a rather large amount of powdered cardamon on my oatmeal. Ick. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2009, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/57 "2009-08-02T03:48:19Z")
Anyone driven off in the early morning with that nagging feeling that you’ve forgotten something? Steaming coffee pouring off the roof of the car where you momentarily left it. ---
**Author:** ![wunderkammer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ed8c4c/32.png) [@wunderkammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wunderkammer)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2009, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/58 "2009-08-02T17:47:28Z")
Heh. My mom once drove all the way home from my grandparents’ house with a pumpkin pie on top of the car. (Low center of gravity, you see.) ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2009, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/59 "2009-08-02T22:00:33Z")
One morning when I wasn’t feeling very well, I asked my 6-yr-old son to make a bowl of cereal for me, and to add one “thingie” of sugar. One “thingie” to me was a spoonful. To him it was the quarter cup measure in the sugar cannister. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2009, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/60 "2009-08-02T22:33:04Z")
Celtling’s Dad had these relaly sharp knives. He was obsesed with keeping them sharp and rasped them almost daily. I, on the other hand was accustomed to the dollar store steak knives I treated as nearly disposable. Forward to me, driving with a compression bandage in one hand and the non-bloody half o fthe bagel in the other. On the speaker phone is a proposal meeting in full swing. When the compliance manager asked if I was close to the office yet, I was forced to admit that I had been viciously attacked by my breakfast and would be making a stop at the emrgency room. We made a rule that I was not to touch those knives before 10:00am. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729.md?page=4)