# Breakfasts gone horribly wrong

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [July 30, 2009, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729 "2009-07-30T00:31:10Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 15\
**Page:** 6

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**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\
**Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/101 "2009-08-06T17:57:47Z")

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> [@Skammer](#):
>
> One time, I put my strawberry Pop-tart in the toaster and went back to my bedroom to finish getting ready. I forgot about my Pop-tart until the smoke detector went off. I walked down to the kitched, expecting smoke to be coming out of the toaster from my burned pastry.
> 
> What I saw and did not expect was _two foot flames_ shooting out of the toaster and licking up the front of the cabinets. :eek:

Pop tarts are dangerous: [Strawberry Pop-Tart Blow-Torches](http://www.pmichaud.com/toast/)

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**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\
**Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/102 "2009-08-06T18:02:09Z")

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> [@Belrix](#):
>
> Pop tarts are dangerous: [Strawberry Pop-Tart Blow-Torches](http://www.pmichaud.com/toast/)

Bwahahahaha. With emphasis added:

> [@](#):
>
> At this point, the researchers also realized that the heat could inadvertently melt the adhesive cellophane and cause the flaming SPTs to suddenly eject from the toaster. **Unfortunately** , this did not occur.

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**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\
**Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/103 "2009-08-06T18:28:20Z")

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I enjoy my morning oatmeal with cinnamon. A whole LOT of cinnamon.

Unfortunately, on a groggy morning, cinnamon and ground cayenne pepper look very much alike.

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**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\
**Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/104 "2009-08-06T20:53:14Z")

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> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#):
>
> So your toaster doesn’t pop the finished foodstuffs out? The aforementioned foodstuffs just sits inside of the toaster burning until you come along to rescue it?
> 
> What an odd world you live in. 🙂

Turns out, the toaster was broken.

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**Author:** ![Gam\_Zeh\_Yaavor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@Gam\_Zeh\_Yaavor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gam_Zeh_Yaavor)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2009, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/105 "2009-08-07T06:31:37Z")

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I began the day before my Master’s dissertation was due by setting a tomato on fire.

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**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2009, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/106 "2009-08-07T07:55:53Z")

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> [@Gam\_Zeh\_Yaavor](#):
>
> I began the day before my Master’s dissertation was due by setting a tomato on fire.

One hopes the Gods of Academia looked favorably upon your humble sacrifice.

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**Author:** ![Teacake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Teacake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teacake)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2009, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/107 "2009-08-07T10:44:32Z")

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Eager to impress in a new relationship, decided to make breakfast after first night together, thought, “hey, let’s have a laugh as well as something delicious”, so added green food colouring to the first omelette and blue to the second. They looked like dishcloths. It failed to impress. (We did laugh about it for several years, but I never added food colouring to anything apart from icing after that.)

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**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2009, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/108 "2009-08-07T14:39:36Z")

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> [@Irishman](#):
>
> **Dung Beetle** said:  
> I get amusement out of a **Dung Beetle** complaining about his food. 😉
> 
> My worst experiment - peanut butter and mayonnaise. I wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, found out too late we were out of jelly, and figured “mayonnaise is moist, to offset the peanut butter”. Uh, no. I shudder now just thinking about it.

Makes a nice peanut butter dung sandwich sound a lot more appetizing, am I right? 😃

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**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/109 "2009-08-13T00:16:23Z")

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Go rent _The Bachelor_. (The movie, not the reality show.)

Watch what Renee Zellweger puts into that bowl with her corn flakes.

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**Author:** ![Taber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/110 "2009-08-13T00:53:54Z")

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> [@alphaboi867](#):
>
> I tried waking up 15 minutes early this moring so I could try eating breakfast at home instead of at work. So I got a bowl out the cupboard and put some cornflakes in it. Then I went over to the fridge and took two eggs out. I cracked the eggs and poured them out over my cornflakes. Then I put the bowl in the microwave for a minute & a half. As I set the bowl on the table I thought “Somethings not right”. :smack: I ate at work anyway. So anybody else screw up a simple breakfast recently. On the plus side at least I remembered to put shorts on before taking my dog outside for his morning potty break.

Sounds like a standard egg in a nest to me.

When making grilled chicken breasts, I once tried to keep them from sticking to the pan with vanilla extract instead of sesame oil.

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**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/111 "2009-08-13T01:02:42Z")

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All breakfast is horribly wrong to me. Never in my whole life have I been able to choke down food in the morning. I’ve cooked it for others. Burned bacon once by accident - they loved it!

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**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/112 "2009-08-13T03:16:40Z")

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> [@SmashTheState](#):
>
> Not any more. I’ve been vegetarian for a decade or so. When I did eat dead animals, I loved organ meats: heart, kidney, liver, pancreas, tongue, gizzard, they’re the tastiest **(and most nutritious)** part of the animal. And I refused to eat any of that disgusting supermarket sausage in edible plastic casing. Real sausage comes packed in intestine, and yes, it does make a very large difference in taste.

(My bold) only if you are low on LDL (“Bad”) cholesterol. Organ meats are quite fatty.

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**Author:** ![Eugene\_of\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c37758/32.png) [@Eugene\_of\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eugene_of_Sandwich)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/113 "2009-08-13T17:09:52Z")

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Hard boiled eggs don’t really re-heat in the microwave like you might think.

Unfortunately it didn’t explode until I bit it.

Egg everywhere and steam burns on my face.

Felt pretty stupid really.

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**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/114 "2009-08-13T18:01:53Z")

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> [@Skammer](#):
>
> Turns out, the toaster was broken.

:smack: x100.

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**Author:** ![GardeningSpirit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/91b2a8/32.png) [@GardeningSpirit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GardeningSpirit)\
**Post date:** [August 16, 2009, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakfasts-gone-horribly-wrong/504729/115 "2009-08-16T02:07:37Z")

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I once found the t.v. remote in the refridgerator. It never did work after that.

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