# Breakin' the baby from her pacifier. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 5, 2003, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakin-the-baby-from-her-pacifier/179722 "2003-06-05T00:17:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakin-the-baby-from-her-pacifier/179722/1 "2003-06-05T00:17:25Z")
Put her to bed about 25 minutes ago, and she’s still going strong. I’m thinking it’ll be about 9:45pm EST before she goes to bed. Mom is looking all worried and “should I go in and check on her”, but I tell her there’s nothing she can do or should do. And people asked us when she was 4 months old why we put her room at the other end of the house. Because we think ahead, idiots. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![shelbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@shelbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shelbo)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakin-the-baby-from-her-pacifier/179722/2 "2003-06-05T00:30:04Z")
How old is she? ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakin-the-baby-from-her-pacifier/179722/3 "2003-06-05T00:33:08Z")
19 months. ---
**Author:** ![Adoptamom\_II](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Adoptamom\_II](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adoptamom_II)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakin-the-baby-from-her-pacifier/179722/4 "2003-06-05T00:37:27Z")
Our two youngest were 6 months and 18 months old and we broke them at the same time. It was a horrible 2 nights for all concerned. That said, I don’t like to see 2-3 year olds walking around popping that thing out of their mouth to grab a bite to eat and then popping it back in so it was important to us to break them early on. Both children were adopted and given pacifiers in the hospital, otherwise I don’t think we would have used them if we could’ve gotten away without them. ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakin-the-baby-from-her-pacifier/179722/5 "2003-06-05T00:59:47Z")
Without being critical (damn, but that sounds like “don’t take this personally, **but** …” when I type it. I therefore apologize in advance) earlier probably would have been easier on y’all. OTOH, unless you managed to keep the hospital staff from givin’ the wee one a pacifier at all, it’s never “easy.” But I concur with **Adoptamom\_II** , on all counts. Two, mebbe three nights of grief at bedtime, and it’ll be history. I’ll ‘fess up and admit I felt like the world’s biggest shitheel, not givin’ in to the crying, and kept wanting to get up and give the kid back her binkie. [sub]It also drives me buggy seeing kids old enough to talk walkin’ around with a plug stuck in thier face, but I can’t articulate specifically _why_. Just one o’ my hangups.[/sub] Going To Bed Without The Required Two Hours Of Bouncing/Rocking is much the same, if my memory serves correctly. Couple’a nights of misery, and all is forgotten. Well, for _her_ it’s forgotten. Her mother and I still wake up from nightmares of being the world’s worst parents, making the poor kid cry like that, whilst standin’ in her bedroom doorway saying, “Sweetie, you’re fine, just lay down and go to sleep, we’re right here, you’re fine…” Ick. But it does get better, really. 😃 Best o’luck. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakin-the-baby-from-her-pacifier/179722/6 "2003-06-05T02:40:51Z")
No problem. She dropped off about 45 minutes into it and nary a peep since. Never had to rock her to sleep either: Sophie has, since the age of 2 months, been a very good sleeper, generally going from about 8:00pm-7:30am every night. ---
**Author:** ![easy\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb8c5e/32.png) [@easy\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/easy_e)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakin-the-baby-from-her-pacifier/179722/7 "2003-06-05T21:26:53Z")
I remember [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=177955) had lots of good suggestions, including a “pacifier fairy” who takes pacifiers away and brings more grown up toys, and trimming the pacifier over a period of days until it’s just a nub. ---
**Author:** ![hedra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/779978/32.png) [@hedra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hedra)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakin-the-baby-from-her-pacifier/179722/8 "2003-06-05T21:38:56Z")
And per that thread (which I was going to link myself), keep in mind the need for transitional objects - introduce another if she doesn’t have one yet, and seems to need ‘something’ if not her paci. If she was using the pacifier for transitional emotional support, she’ll probably take to another object fairly readily. I still get ticked off when I remember my favorite transitional object getting thrown out. I didn’t need it every day anymore, but when I needed it, I NEEDED IT. And they’d thrown it out. Just because I’d loved it threadbare. Grrrr. Anyway, on that note, find a transitional object you can live with, so you don’t have to repeat the process with the next thing she clings to (if you get much choice - sometimes you don’t). And let me say, BOY am I glad my boys didn’t do pacifiers. This would utterly break my heart, even though I don’t much like pacifiers in older kids, either. ---
**Author:** ![hedra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/779978/32.png) [@hedra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hedra)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakin-the-baby-from-her-pacifier/179722/9 "2003-06-05T21:46:35Z")
(But then again, I also wouldn’t put my kid in a room across the house… Responding to their cries decreases their cortisol levels, and cortisol bursts prune neural pathways. Not that a few nights will destroy them as long as you get back in tune again after a disconnect, but I just find it easier to do so closer-by. See: [this link](http://www.healthychildrennetwork.lu/html/conferences/conference2000/papers/schore_luxembourg.html)) ---
**Author:** ![hedra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/779978/32.png) [@hedra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hedra)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breakin-the-baby-from-her-pacifier/179722/10 "2003-06-05T22:20:17Z")
Dang, wrong link (right author, right topic, but ‘more readable’ so but doesn’t go into specifics as much). [right link for what stress events do to neural processes](http://www.trauma-pages.com/schore-2001b.htm); or this one for the positive side (things that counter the negatives) [here](http://www.trauma-pages.com/schore-2001a.htm)…