# Breaking News! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 15, 2004, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/245237 "2004-05-15T05:37:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/245237/1 "2004-05-15T05:37:04Z")
A gun just went off outside! I know it was a gunshot because it was immediately followed by a scream, then by squealing tires (and because it sounded like one). Now there are sirens. I’m going to have a cigarette and see what’s going on. This is your roving reporter, **RNATB** , signing off. ---
**Author:** ![dook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@dook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dook)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/245237/2 "2004-05-15T05:40:51Z")
> [@Really Not All That Bright](#): > > A gun just went off outside! > > I know it was a gunshot because it was immediately followed by a scream, then by squealing tires (and because it sounded like one). Now there are sirens. I’m going to have a cigarette and see what’s going on. > > This is your roving reporter, **RNATB** , signing off. Dude, chill out. My car backfired when I started it. The chick walking down the sidewalk next to me screamed when it happened… and what can I say? I’m a bit show-offy about this GTO, so I tend to squeal the tires every now and then. And as for the sirens? _\_ Them coppers’ll never catch me. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/245237/3 "2004-05-15T06:49:11Z")
**Alcatraz** , your sig nearly made me piss myself in unholy laughter. Thanks for the amusement. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/245237/4 "2004-05-15T07:39:53Z")
Eep, it’s been 2 hours since his last update. Lets hope **Really Not All That Bright** wasn’t caught in the crossfire! ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/245237/5 "2004-05-15T07:48:55Z")
> [@xgxlx](#): > > Eep, it’s been 2 hours since his last update. Lets hope **Really Not All That Bright** wasn’t caught in the crossfire! And that he’s nod Teddy in disuise and offered her a ride home that involved going across a bridge. :eek: Great one **Airman** ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/245237/6 "2004-05-15T08:16:02Z")
Further hijack: My mechanic has a poster that says “If Ted Kennedy had been driving a Volkswagon, he’d have been President by now” that shows an old VW Beetle floating in a pond. Funny? Perhaps poor taste? You bet! ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/245237/7 "2004-05-15T10:31:29Z")
Any updates yet? ---
**Author:** ![JoeSki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b487fb/32.png) [@JoeSki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeSki)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/245237/8 "2004-05-15T12:46:53Z")
We get noises like that every now and then by our apartment complex. One time I heard someone scream, followed by “OH MY GOD GET HER TO A HOSPTIAL!” followed by the sound of people running by my door, downstairs, and then out of the driveway. This was so loud, that my fellow SOCOM 2 (an online game in which you use mics to speak to each other) clanmates heard all of it. “What the hell was that?!” they asked. Truly a scream for help heard throughout the country. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/245237/9 "2004-05-15T13:37:58Z")
A couple months ago (this is about as “breaking” as it gets for me): In the middle of the night. Lots of sirens. I hear a “pop”. I know a gun when I hear it. Then two "pop"s. The first one was the perp shooting a police dog. The next two were the cops killing the perp. The guy had broken into a house earlier and killed the owner. (Didn’t hear that.) At least the dog survived. (Let’s see, add that to the small plane hitting our trees and crashing, the neighbor’s house burning down, the _big_ gas line break and the earthquake. Not exactly Mr. Rogers’ neighborhood.) ---
**Author:** ![CWN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@CWN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CWN)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/245237/10 "2004-05-15T13:49:25Z")
> [@](#): > > This is your roving reporter, **RNATB** , signing off. Yawn, wakes up… get my coffee and turns to RNARTB news service, Dang its off the air! What happened? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/245237/11 "2004-05-15T15:22:03Z")
Sorry, **RNATBNN** was derailed by the almost-full case of Miller Lite that was peeking at him from the bottom of the fridge. Turns out the shooter was some big redneck guy (it’s a nice apartment complex, but Oviedo is a little bit odd) with a 12-gauge killing all the stray cats in the neighborhood because they keep pooping in the bed of his truck. The scream was the local crazy cat lady who leaves food out for all the strays when she saw what he was doing, and the squeal was her trying to run him over in a Ford Contour- I kid you not. The rozzers came and arrested both of them and animal control came this morning to clean up the little bodies ☹ _It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood_ _Won’t you be my… neighbor?_ ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/245237/12 "2004-05-15T15:43:53Z")
:eek: Somofabich! :mad: I’ma poop in his truck too! Where’s he live? : loads up on the bran flakes : ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/245237/13 "2004-05-15T16:23:59Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m going to have a cigarette and see what’s going on. Well, this explains the username. (Sorry. Cheap shot. However, I had a drug raid go bad directly across the street from my dorm while I was in college. It included the shooting of a policeman and an attempted escape through a third floor window. The street was _still_ filling up with more squad cars when a few of my fellow students decided they just had to go see what was happening. So now we have a lot of late-arriving cops to a scene with an officer down and no clear picture that all the perps have been apprehended being entered by some scraggly-looking college kids. (No one else got hurt, but several students reported that visiting a crime scene before the cops have secured it is a BAD IDEA.)) ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/245237/14 "2004-05-16T04:00:51Z")
> [@tomndebb](#): > > Well, this explains the username. Psh. I was wearing my invisibility specs, silly… you didn’t expect me to go traipsing around at night with an angry shotgun-toting redneck and trigger-happy Seminole County Sheriff’s deputies running around and no means of protecting myself, did you? ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/245237/15 "2004-05-16T16:36:53Z")
So then _how_, exactly, was Mr. Miller able to “peep” at you then? Hhhmmmm? Sounds suspect to me! 😛