# Breaking News!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 5, 2005, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/288493 "2005-02-05T05:23:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![recurriman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8dc957/32.png) [@recurriman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/recurriman)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/288493/1 "2005-02-05T05:23:40Z")
After extensive reasearch, I have concluded that kittens are playful. Preliminary reports also show that playfulness of kittens is directly proportional to the difficulty of upcoming exams. More on this story as it develops. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/288493/2 "2005-02-05T06:03:34Z")
Kitten are great except for the fact that they grow up to be cats. It is similar to knowing that your cute little daughter is going to grow up to be a call girl. ---
**Author:** ![recurriman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8dc957/32.png) [@recurriman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/recurriman)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/288493/3 "2005-02-05T06:53:22Z")
Our kitten is actually 2 years old. Technically, she’s a cat but she still acts as kitteny as ever. ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/288493/4 "2005-02-05T16:05:28Z")
I have two kittens. An eight year old an a ten year old. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/288493/5 "2005-02-05T20:58:55Z")
I have a 9-month old catten. I call him that because he looks like a cat, but acts like a kitten. ---
**Author:** ![recurriman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8dc957/32.png) [@recurriman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/recurriman)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/288493/6 "2005-02-06T03:51:39Z")
I was hoping that other people would come up with “Breaking News” of their own. If the idea doesn’t appeal to anyone, I shall let this thread die. ---
**Author:** ![BrattiAtti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c57346/32.png) [@BrattiAtti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrattiAtti)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/288493/7 "2005-02-06T03:59:18Z")
…and after our commercial break, we will discuss how much of the population uses operating systems that aren’t made by MS. walks off muttering, “Save as txt. Save as txt. Save as…” :smack: ---
**Author:** ![633squadron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/ee59a6/32.png) [@633squadron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/633squadron)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/288493/8 "2005-02-06T04:36:19Z")
> [@BrattiAtti](#): > > …and after our commercial break, we will discuss how much of the population uses operating systems that aren’t made by MS. > > walks off muttering, “Save as txt. Save as txt. Save as…” :smack: hehehe Breaking News! Cats have a brain consisting of one of those toys where you have to get all the BBs into all of the holes. Most of the time, the BBs are all over the place, and so is the cat’s brain. Once in a great while, all the BBs fall into place. Scary! ---
**Author:** ![PinkMarabou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@PinkMarabou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PinkMarabou)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/288493/9 "2005-02-06T18:16:43Z")
… and our top story at 11:00: “Water is Wet? How it got that way and the potential environmental implications!” ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2005, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/288493/10 "2005-02-07T05:33:01Z")
Next we’ll have Buzz Sampson with the weather. But first, fruit snacks, while delicious, are not as healthy as real fruit. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2005, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/288493/11 "2005-02-07T06:52:35Z")
Also at 11: “Babies are Stupid. Research has concluded that babies cannot perform the most simple tasks, even given plenty of oppurtunity.” ---
**Author:** ![gouda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c77e96/32.png) [@gouda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gouda)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2005, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/288493/12 "2005-02-07T13:43:09Z")
This just in! Details are still sketchy, but it appears that shooting yourself in the foot will hurt! We’ll keep you updated as news comes in. Stay tuned… ---
**Author:** ![GomiBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@GomiBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GomiBoy)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/288493/13 "2005-02-07T15:30:08Z")
> [@recurriman](#): > > I was hoping that other people would come up with “Breaking News” of their own. > > If the idea doesn’t appeal to anyone, I shall let this thread die. Nobody move, or the cute furry kitten gets it!! I’m serious! ---
**Author:** ![bob\_loblaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@bob\_loblaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_loblaw)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/288493/14 "2005-02-10T01:55:18Z")
we interrupt this thread to bring you this important newsflash: it’s still early in the chinese lunar year of the cock, yet already [penis ensues!](http://tinyurl.com/46vco) …and now back your regularly scheculed doping. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/288493/15 "2005-02-10T02:02:52Z")
I refuse to believe the assertions made in the OP unless we have photographic evidence. When come back, post cute pix. ---
**Author:** ![Kilvert\_s\_Pagan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@Kilvert\_s\_Pagan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilvert_s_Pagan)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/288493/16 "2005-02-10T02:05:55Z")
All cats are born mentally ill. A few of them get over it. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breaking-news/288493/17 "2005-02-10T02:21:03Z")
Anchorman: “We have a breaking story just in. Now we go live to our correspondant Regallag the Axe. Regallag?” [Satelite delay] Me: “Yes,Tom, I’m here at the location where the state of Wyoming is supposed to exist, but there is something teribly wrong here. It seems that instead of Wyoming, there is just a massive gaping hole in the fabtic of reality. So it seems that all this time, it’s been true that, yes, Wyoming does not, and nver did exist. Tom”