# Breast-feeding at 8 years old in England **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 21, 2008, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911 "2008-10-21T17:52:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911/41 "2008-10-22T17:28:15Z")
And possibly mom has something to gain emotionally from letting her keep her babyish habits? ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911/42 "2008-10-22T17:49:12Z")
> [@filmore](#): > > I think there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with breast-feeding that long. I doubt there’s anything sexual going on at all, so it just becomes a source of food. However, it’s so far out of the normal bounds of society that I think it’s inappropriate. Most people will think it’s pretty weird. Any benefits will be outweighed by people teasing him or him having to deal with keeping it secret and the shame that comes with that. I think that there are other ways you can harm your children than sexual behavior. But, I also think that its far too easy to judge this as harmful, when there is no proof its anything more than “icky.” If I had to lay bets on an eight year old who was breastfed having some issues with boundaries, with separation, with independence, with social adaptation - I’m going to guess that one or more of those is likely. But who knows, the kid could turn out perfectly well adjusted. (Personally, my ick alarm starts going off somewhere North of two - and becomes that screetching pitch of ‘vacate the building immediately’ at five. But my ick alarm also goes off at a certain level of tattoos or piercings, with certain unhealthy behaviors like smoking - and all sorts of other things that I’d be too polite to mention when seeing it and I don’t think should send Child Protection Services in over.) ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911/43 "2008-10-22T18:05:29Z")
There was a Toni Morrison novel (_Song of Solomon_?) with a boy who nursed until age 14. I wonder if this mother read the book. IIRC, he didn’t turn out well, but few people do in her work. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Monstera\_deliciosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monstera_deliciosa/32/109_2.png) [@Monstera\_deliciosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstera_deliciosa)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911/44 "2008-10-22T18:16:40Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > There was a Toni Morrison novel (_Song of Solomon_?) with a boy who nursed until age 14. I wonder if this mother read the book. > > IIRC, he didn’t turn out well, but few people do in her work. 😉 In _SoS_, the lead character only nursed until age 5 or 6. Even so, he ended up with the nickname Milkman. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911/45 "2008-10-22T18:21:08Z")
> [@Monstera\_deliciosa](#): > > In _SoS_, the lead character only nursed until age 5 or 6. Even so, he ended up with the nickname Milkman. Speaking of literature, what about giving the child the…bippy? I’m trying to think of the character in A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (was he four? five?) who breast fed until he was too old, and who even made his mother bottle feed his infant sister while he had exclusive breast rights. (He sated himself on black coffee during her pregnancy when she wasn’t nursing.) ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911/46 "2008-10-22T18:33:25Z")
> [@Aspidistra](#): > > I’m a big breastfeeding advocate, and I’m comfortable with it till pretty late by board/U.S. standards, but even I think 8 is way too old. For myself I’d be comfortable going till about 3… I’d say the same. It wasn’t until I had my own child as well as friends who breastfed two- and three-year-olds that the idea of breastfeeding past infancy sounded normal to me. ---
**Author:** ![JR\_Brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JR\_Brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JR_Brown)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911/47 "2008-10-22T20:50:55Z")
My Mom tells me I breastfed until about age four; after age 2 or so it was brief and not so much about food as comfort (eg, I’d head for the boob when I was scared or upset and nurse for a minute or two), but she still had to force me to stop. I’m at least as screwed up as the next person, but I don’t think this is why. Eight is maybe a bit on the late side, though. JRB ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911/48 "2008-10-22T21:09:49Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > Requesting to suck on a woman’s breast should be the terrain of sexual partners, not children. > [@Aspidistra](#): > > I’m a big breastfeeding advocate, and I’m comfortable with it till pretty late by board/U.S. standards, but even I think 8 is way too old. Yeah. Breastfeeding was short lived with my son (thrush) and shorter with my daughter (although I pumped for 14 months, she couldn’t get it at the source), but I’m not really intrinsically against extended breastfeeding to 3 or even 4. But 8 really does seem to be over the line, although I can’t really articulate why. I guess maybe because, in our culture, most 8 year olds are old enough to, like **NinjaChick** , have internalized the boobs=sexy connection. Even if Mommy’s Boobies are the exception to this kid, that’s why it feels oogy to _me_. Her mommy’s boobies are as sexy as any boobies to me. And I think that there’s something insular about breastfeeding, something nesting and safe and dyadish (as in, the mother/child dyad). At 8, the kid is supposed to have moved out of the nest emotionally and be invested in school and peers more than in parents. So that feels icky, too, in a Norman Bates/Mother kind of way. But I also agree that if this is the worst parenting example ever, we should be so lucky! ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911/49 "2008-10-22T21:25:44Z")
8? The child needs to individuate or something. And as posted, if they’re growing teeth, they should be eating solid food. That’s what they’ll get at school, after all. Didn’t Dr. Phil have someone on who was still breastfeeding the kid at 12 or something? My guess that the “natural” age at which breastfeeding stops is four or earlier. My reasoning is per Helen Fisher, in this book: > **[Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray:...](https://www.amazon.com/Anatomy-Love-Natural-History-Marriage/dp/0449908976)** > > Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray \[Fisher, Helen\] on Amazon.com. \*FREE\* shipping on qualifying offers. Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray IIRC she said that the “seven-year itch” is really a four-year itch, if you look at divorce spikes across cultures. By that age the child is ambulatory, and it isn’t as critical for the father to stick around to defend the offspring. Once he’s gone, the mother would need to gather, the child would need to play to develop motor skills, and of course there’s the emergence of teeth… ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911/50 "2008-10-22T21:31:43Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > and of course there’s the emergence of teeth… Teeth emerge at age 4? No. Teeth emerge usually before the end of the first year, most often [at 6 months](http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/baby-teeth/AN00355), when WHO and the AAP agree babies should still be nursing, at least part time. Teeth are not even close to relevant to the nursing discussion. Babies/children can nurse just fine with teeth. Deciduous teeth descend before the first year is up, and they don’t start falling out until 6 years. There’s nothing much going on with teeth at age 4. ---
**Author:** ![Contrary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/db5fbb/32.png) [@Contrary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrary)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911/51 "2008-10-22T21:39:35Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > And as posted, if they’re growing teeth, they should be eating solid food. That’s what they’ll get at school, after all. Sorry the teeth are not a good indicator. My older son got his first teeth at three and a half months old. His gut was not ready for solid food. As for the rest of it, meh, not my cup of tea (or milk?) but who really cares. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911/52 "2008-10-22T21:41:39Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Teeth emerge at age 4? No. Teeth emerge usually before the end of the first year, most often [at 6 months](http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/baby-teeth/AN00355), when WHO and the AAP agree babies should still be nursing, at least part time. Teeth are not even close to relevant to the nursing discussion. Babies/children can nurse just fine with teeth. > > Deciduous teeth descend before the first year is up, and they don’t start falling out until 6 years. There’s nothing much going on with teeth at age 4. Oh, sure, teeth emerge before age 4. Kid’s got a full grill by then I would think. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911/53 "2008-10-22T21:44:30Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I guess maybe because, in our culture, most 8 year olds are old enough to, like **NinjaChick** , have internalized the boobs=sexy connection. Even if Mommy’s Boobies are the exception to this kid, that’s why it feels oogy to _me_. Her mommy’s boobies are as sexy as any boobies to me. Was wondering about that, too. I know the two mentioned in the video were girls, but for a boy child, wouldn’t it feel odd? Isn’t eight old enough to maybe get a funny feeling down there when you catch a glimpse of a Playboy? not that it would necessarily screw the kid up, but it could be…strange, no? ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911/54 "2008-10-22T21:59:56Z")
> [@Contrary](#): > > Sorry the teeth are not a good indicator. My older son got his first teeth at three and a half months old. His gut was not ready for solid food. As for the rest of it, meh, not my cup of tea (or milk?) but who really cares. I just always assumed…well, here’s a link: [http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/nursing/biting.html](http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/nursing/biting.html) Topics: \*New teeth scrape, scrape, scrape, with every suck 6-month-old is biting me - considering weaning How do I stop 9-month-old from biting me? Nursing 8-mo old with teeth - Ouch! 13-month-old biting - is she ready to be weaned? 15-mo-old is drawing blood 15-month-old biting after being bitten by another tot 16-month-old biting me very hard Weaning a 19-mo-old nursing fiend who’s biting me \* ---
**Author:** ![Soggy\_Biscuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Soggy\_Biscuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soggy_Biscuit)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911/55 "2008-10-22T22:15:02Z")
My wife breastfed our kids, and WIC said you should probably stop breastfeeding sometime in their third year. One kid stopped on their own at 2, the other quit while he was still 1. The latest is going to be 3 in a few months and is still breastfeeding, but she only does it a couple of times a day now. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911/56 "2008-10-22T22:24:23Z")
My kids never bit me, and they both nursed well past the emergence of their teeth. And I’ve known plenty of people who nursed their kids well into toddlerhood and no one used breastmilk as a substitute for solid food past the age of 1 year. Babies are usually introduced to food by 6 months, and the food is given concurrently with the breastmilk until weaning is complete, whenever the mother chooses to stop. It’s not like an 8 year old is getting all their nutrition from nursing. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911/57 "2008-10-22T22:29:05Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > 8? The child needs to individuate or something. And as posted, if they’re growing teeth, they should be eating solid food. That’s what they’ll get at school, after all. > Didn’t Dr. Phil have someone on who was still breastfeeding the kid at 12 or something? > > My guess that the “natural” age at which breastfeeding stops is four or earlier. My reasoning is per Helen Fisher, in this book: > > [Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray: Fisher, Helen: 9780449908976: Amazon.com: Books](http://www.amazon.com/Anatomy-Love-Natural-History-Marriage/dp/0449908976) > > IIRC she said that the “seven-year itch” is really a four-year itch, if you look at divorce spikes across cultures. By that age the child is ambulatory, and it isn’t as critical for the father to stick around to defend the offspring. Once he’s gone, the mother would need to gather, the child would need to play to develop motor skills, and of course there’s the emergence of teeth… Whether or not the child can eat solid food has nothing to do with the discussion. Toddlers continue to suppliment their solid food with milk for quite some time. She isn’t breastfeeding as a substitute. That being said, I think anything over 2 is past my gweeb threshold. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911/58 "2008-10-22T22:38:27Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > Whether or not the child can eat solid food has nothing to do with the discussion. Toddlers continue to suppliment their solid food with milk for quite some time. She isn’t breastfeeding as a substitute. I didn’t think she was breastfeeding as a substitute. I’m saying that if a mother is trying to scratch out a living for herself and child on an African savannah, the sooner the child is independent of her breast, the sooner the mother can turn her full attention to other tasks. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911/59 "2008-10-22T22:49:51Z")
Speaking of which, wouldn’t you think the mother would be good and tired of it by now? ---
**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2008, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911/60 "2008-10-22T23:00:47Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > Isn’t there a certain time after pregnancy when the mother’s body stops producing milk? > > _checks Wikipedia, which doesn’t have an answer_ No, seriously. How is this possible? 😕 A bit of TMI here: I breastfed my son until he was 8 months old. When he started eating solids, he was less interested in nursing, and only wanted to nurse on one side, so he was weaned. Unfortunately, my husband was a boob guy, and just wouldn’t stop TOUCHING them. I leaked milk when I took my shower for the next 10 years. If he hadn’t died suddenly at that point, I guess today I might be one of those lactating grandmas. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breast-feeding-at-8-years-old-in-england/468911.md?page=4)