# Breastfeeding in public- Are you OK with it?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [June 15, 2010, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333 "2010-06-15T19:07:40Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333/21 "2010-06-15T19:48:15Z")

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Supportive of it. I have some little business cards provided by my state’s [department of health](http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/wichd/lactate/default.shtm) which say, paraphrased, “Thank you for breastfeeding in public. Through the actions of people like you we’re changing the attitude of the public and encouraging more people to breastfeed, which has been proven to be the best way to nourish an infant.” And on the other side they have a citation to the Texas public breastfeeding law which says a woman may breastfeed anywhere she is legally entitled to be. It doubles as a public thank you to someone who may have occasionally gotten stink-eye, or worse, from people who can’t keep their nose out of other people’s business, and as legal proof that the woman can use in the future if someone gives them grief about it.

It’s something we need to get past as a society, and while it can be weird to strike up a conversation with a stranger while they’re breastfeeding to give them one of the cards, I recognize that weirdness as a symptom of the problem the cards were designed to address. Breastfeeding is as natural as any other form of eating and I don’t have a problem chatting with someone who is enjoying a sandwich in a park, so why should I feel weird about chatting with someone who is breastfeeding in the same situation? Giving out the cards forces me to face my own views of breastfeeding(OMG! her boobies are exposed, create a mental barrier and don’t look at her because it’s improper) and may re-inforce her own resolve to do what is best for her baby regardless of the occasional twit she encounters.

Win-win as far as I’m concerned.

Enjoy,  
Steven

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**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333/22 "2010-06-15T19:50:47Z")

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Not bothered. However, if mothers are going to do that, then I reserve the right to stare

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**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333/23 "2010-06-15T19:56:53Z")

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> [@Mtgman](#):
>
> Supportive of it. I have some little business cards provided by my state’s [department of health](http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/wichd/lactate/default.shtm) which say, paraphrased, “Thank you for breastfeeding in public. Through the actions of people like you we’re changing the attitude of the public and encouraging more people to breastfeed, which has been proven to be the best way to nourish an infant.” And on the other side they have a citation to the Texas public breastfeeding law which says a woman may breastfeed anywhere she is legally entitled to be. It doubles as a public thank you to someone who may have occasionally gotten stink-eye, or worse, from people who can’t keep their nose out of other people’s business, and as legal proof that the woman can use in the future if someone gives them grief about it.

That’s the best thing I’ve heard about Texas, well…ever! 🙂

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**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333/24 "2010-06-15T19:57:42Z")

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> [@YogSosoth](#):
>
> Not bothered. However, if mothers are going to do that, then I reserve the right to stare

Would you stare if she was eating a hamburger?

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**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333/25 "2010-06-15T19:59:20Z")

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I’ll join **Ferret Herder** in the unpopular corner. I’m not offended, but I think there’s a time and place for everything and breastfeeding your pre-schooler (“How old is your son?” '“He’s 48 months” - no, he’s 4 years old!) in public view isn’t it.

But then, I’m not a big cootchie-cooer over babies anyway.

StG

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**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333/26 "2010-06-15T20:02:42Z")

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> [@Der\_Trihs](#):
>
> Would you stare if she was eating a hamburger?

Does she have her tits out while she’s eating that hamburger?

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**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333/27 "2010-06-15T20:03:23Z")

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Go right ahead.

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**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333/28 "2010-06-15T20:03:56Z")

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> [@StGermain](#):
>
> I’ll join **Ferret Herder** in the unpopular corner. I’m not offended, but I think there’s a time and place for everything and breastfeeding your pre-schooler (“How old is your son?” '“He’s 48 months” - no, he’s 4 years old!) in public view isn’t it.

Ah, silly me. I thought the time to feed your kid was when she’s hungry.

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**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333/29 "2010-06-15T20:04:07Z")

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I completely support it. I’m actually jealous of you for it, too. I’m still nursing my seven-month-old daughter, though I rarely do it in public places unless I can find a private area. Not only does she not like blankets, she prefers to have access to as much of my skin as she can get, yanking shirts and sweaters as far aside as possible. And she likes to pull off frequently, try to roll onto her back, have a look around and get back on, exposing the nipple a little too often for my comfort. It’s a shame, too, because expressed milk is like liquid gold, and it takes me forever to replace what she takes in a bottle when she’s nursing all weekend (I pump during the workday, so on the weekend I have to produce double the amount I’d have to during the day than if she were doing either only nursing or I were just pumping).

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**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333/30 "2010-06-15T20:05:01Z")

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> [@WhyNot](#):
>
> Ah, silly me. I thought the time to feed your kid was when she’s hungry.

I’m a supporter of breastfeeding, but once your kid is old enough for a Happy Meal, solid food is really the best choice in public.

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**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333/31 "2010-06-15T20:06:55Z")

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I’ll add that I don’t think women should be banished to the bathrooms to do this, but if you’re gonna feed the baby, I’m probably going to wander off for a bit.

I’m probably biased because I’ve been surprised at what parents will do sometimes. Anything from talk of baby bodily functions while I’m eating, to letting their toddlers run around their house naked for extended periods of time in front of us (while husband and I are looking visibly uncomfortable and trying to keep eyes at about top-of-the-head level on the toddlers) after bathtime/pool time. I really don’t want that much info.

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**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333/32 "2010-06-15T20:10:34Z")

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> [@DianaG](#):
>
> I’m a supporter of breastfeeding, but once your kid is old enough for a Happy Meal, solid food is really the best choice in public.

True. I hadn’t noticed that \*\*StGermain \*\*moved the goalposts to a 4 year old, instead of the 11 month old the OP was asking about. My bad.

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**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333/33 "2010-06-15T20:14:18Z")

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I feel the same way about it as I feel about PDA, and the way I’m sure many people feel about me talking about my job–I’d in all honesty prefer you took it someplace else, but I’m willing to suck it up if you’re making a reasonable effort to be discreet and respectful of other people’s sensibilities. We are, after all, trying to have a society here, and that means a little give and take on everybody’s part. You try not to flop your whole tit out or give your SO a tongue bath in front of me even though breastfeeding and PDA don’t bother you, and I’ll try not to cuss in front of your kid or talk about how much blood we suctioned out of a dog’s abdomen at the dinner table even though profanity and surgery don’t bother me.

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**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333/34 "2010-06-15T20:18:57Z")

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I was bringing **Ellen Cherry’s** post into it.

But truly, I have seen women with what I’d consider a kid, not a baby or even a toddler, breastfeeding on demand. When the kid can walk up to you and pull up your shirt, it’s time for some boundaries. And I do feel that, if you know you’re running an errand that will take an hour, it doesn’t hurt to feed your baby in the cleanliness and privacy of your own home, rather than sit on a bench at Kohl’s.

StG

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**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333/35 "2010-06-15T20:23:08Z")

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I agree. Honestly, if you’re breastfeeding a four year old in public, you’re not doing a fabulous job of socializing that child.

The way I see it, breastfeeding is natural and good, and should certainly be carried out anytime and anyplace with babies too young for other food. Once a child is old enough for solid food, let alone old enough to understand what “wait half an hour” means and comply with it, there’s no need for public breastfeeding. Pooping is also natural and good, but once you’re toilet trained, you’re expected to hold it until you get somewhere appropriate.

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**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333/36 "2010-06-15T20:32:53Z")

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> [@AClockworkMelon](#):
>
> Whether I’m squicked out depends precisely on how attractive the mother is. I’m never offended by it, though.

Sheer curiosity: are you squicked out if she’s more, or less, attractive? Not trying to be snarky or anything … just genuinely wondering.

You can put me down for “OK with it, as long as you’re not flopping your whole tit out.” I think that about covers it. In fact, the last time I had to have my car in the shop, there was a woman breast-feeding in the waiting room nearly the entire time I was sitting there. Kid was _hungry_, I guess. She was discrete. Anyway, all I could think was, “Thank God I don’t have to listen to a hungry baby wailing.” No one gave her the stinkeye, that I noticed, but frankly, if I’d seen someone do so, I’d give _them_ the stinkeye. (And believe me, I got a glare on me.) No one should glare at a mom feeding her baby as long as she’s not pulling what \*\*Anaamika \*\*talked about.

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**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333/37 "2010-06-15T20:36:25Z")

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> [@purplehorseshoe](#):
>
> Sheer curiosity: are you squicked out if she’s more, or less, attractive? Not trying to be snarky or anything … just genuinely wondering.

I don’t understand your lack of understanding.

I’m less squicked if the woman is attractive, of course.

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**Author:** ![B.Serum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/b.serum/32/14266_2.png) [@B.Serum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/B.Serum)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333/38 "2010-06-15T20:44:08Z")

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It doesn’t bother me (but then, I love boobies in general). I think, however, that what people need to appreciate is that (at least in the U.S.), boobies are regarded as NSFW. Remember the shitstorm that arose from the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction? People lost. their. shit.

Now consider that one of these boobs is whipped out in public and a tiny person is sucking on it. Yes, nursing is a Wonderful Miracle of Life, but you have to admit that their newfound visibility rather flies in the face of the way we’ve been told to regard this portion of a lady’s anatomy.

Does a nursing mother expect to **not** catch a person off their guard? If someone puts **anything** in the public space, is it reasonable for everyone else to turn away? And if they’re not expected to turn away, when is a person — okay, a man —going to be called a sick pervert for simply seeing what’s out in public? I have a nagging fear of the possibility of some overlap between those women who loudly proclaim “Breast-feeding everywhere!” and those women who are hyper-vigilant against sexual harassment (at least in the form of male gazes). To think that a publicly-nursing mother **isn’t** creating a situation is just as daft as thinking that publicly nursing is “offensive.”

Again, I support it full-heartedly, but I also understand why it causes a kerfuffle in this country.

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**Author:** ![Palo\_Verde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Palo\_Verde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palo_Verde)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333/39 "2010-06-15T20:53:05Z")

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I nursed in public whenever I had a hungry baby. I was told off for it twice in all those years of doing it, although none of my kids nursed past 12 months.

So, sure, go right ahead.

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**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2010, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breastfeeding-in-public-are-you-ok-with-it/543333/40 "2010-06-15T21:08:26Z")

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No problem with breastfeeding hungry babies in public. Hungry toddlers are another story.

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