# Breasts are boring \*yawn\* **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 21, 2003, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915 "2003-07-21T14:28:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915/81 "2003-07-22T16:49:47Z")
No, he doesn’t have a point. The fact that I think Qazzz hasn’t added anything of value to the board and that he is a creep doesn’t conflict with me pointing out why I’ve come to the conclusion. I would only be hypocritical if I had said I was ignoring his posts and then gave a litany of his stupidity. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915/82 "2003-07-22T17:04:56Z")
I gave the OP the benefit of the doubt and just assumed he was really loaded when he started this one. Oops. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915/83 "2003-07-22T17:07:08Z")
**Homebrew** , fair enough. However, the fact that you have responded so emotionally and thoughtfully, does seem to aid his cause - whatever that may be. Attention? maybe. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915/84 "2003-07-24T08:00:45Z")
I just want to know how this translates: > [@](#): > > So I was at the Lincoln Memorial and standing at the top, next to Lincoln, when this woman says something like, “Look at my two beautiful newborn twins!” Well, you know what happens next. She slips and launches her babies down the steps – a comic tumble of over-ripe tomatoes – which come to a final rest in the reflecting pool, now red and rippled. The woman was flashing her breasts? But then, they couldn’t have fallen without her. She had tomatoes\*, I mean actual garden tomatoes with her, and called them “babies” for a joke? Or was she holding actual infants? If so, then it would go without saying that that post would not be funny. I just don’t know what he meant. And I’m not sure he does, either. \*Mr. Rilch has been known to bounce my boobies in his hands while reminding me to get “two plump juicy tomatoes” when I go to the market. ---
**Author:** ![look\_ninjas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@look\_ninjas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_ninjas)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915/85 "2003-07-24T13:23:25Z")
I just need to say that, in **Qazzzz** ’s defense, this is a damn funny thread. The OP, maybe not so much. But most of what’s come after has been great. ---
**Author:** ![Heloise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e36b37/32.png) [@Heloise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heloise)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915/86 "2003-07-24T16:18:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by look!ninjas \* > \*\*I just need to say that, in **Qazzzz** ’s defense, this is a damn funny thread. The OP, maybe not so much. But most of what’s come after has been great. \*\* Yes, it’s called hijacking. 😉 **Coldfire** , **Esprix** is quite correct. There were no claims on me whilst I spent a good part of that evening playing with **BoiToi’s** gender preference. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915/87 "2003-07-24T17:08:44Z")
Curse you, woman! (But he still ended up in bed with _me_ that night, although why he was calling out _your_ name was a mystery - _until now!_ :eek: ) Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915/88 "2003-07-24T19:31:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\*Aren’t jokes supposed to be funny? 😕 > > Esprix \*\* I dunno. Qazzz is a joke and I don’t find him amusing. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915/89 "2003-07-25T05:07:13Z")
Boobies are nice. And I don’t THINK I’m gay. Having them can be, well, a pain. Stupid large breasts give me stupid back pain. And I do believe that underwires are Satan’s handiwork. But nipples are so NICE! ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915/90 "2003-07-25T06:55:38Z")
The OP is wrong. I find breasts to be very smart and exciting. I talk to them a lot, until my girlfriend says, “Up here, capacitor”. ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915/91 "2003-07-25T07:38:19Z")
( o ) ( o ) ) ( ( v ) breasts _heheheheeee_ _slurp_ ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915/92 "2003-07-25T13:44:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > If that’s what they do to a gay guy, imagine what the average straight guy’s reaction is, folks. 😉 Two thoughts come … er, spring … er, occur: 1. Down periscope! (for other people, that is. You get yours and I’ll have mine:)) 2. Restraining order. Well, okay, probably not the _reaction_, but the end result:D ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915/93 "2003-07-25T13:55:25Z")
You might want to get a scoliosis screening up there, **ccwaterback**. [size]One tequila sunrise…[/size] ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915/94 "2003-07-25T15:42:25Z")
\*Yes, breasts are boring, Vaginas inane. That’s why women are All clearly insane. Only men are wise, All-knowing, all-seeing. Only men can avoid wetting their thighs If they stand while peeing. Buttholes are okay, Both genders have them; **Qazzz** ’s problem seems to be That his has consumed him.\* ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915/95 "2003-07-25T17:04:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wolfian \* > \*\* > No over animal has developed anything like the breast, a round fleshy mouth-watering pillow. Morris believes that breast clevage mimics anal clevage. > \*\* And I believe that Morris does not know what a woman without a bra looks like. That’s the problem I’ve always had with his theory. Breasts enhanced by foundation undergarments or surgery can look a heck of a lot like buns, but breasts in their natural, free state – not so much. ---
**Author:** ![Isabelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@Isabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isabelle)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915/96 "2003-07-25T18:02:31Z")
I’ve heard guys comment that nursing moms breasts are very appealing. ---
**Author:** ![dalovindj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/65b543/32.png) [@dalovindj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalovindj)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915/97 "2003-07-25T18:15:12Z")
Ta-Tas are kinda like a toy as far as boredom goes. The first time you see it in the toy store all wrapped up in a nice shiny package, all you can think is “Damn, I want to rip that open and play with it!”. You think about it and think about it until you find a way to actually get the toy home (usually a few shots). Then you unwrap the package with excitement and zeal and then boom, there they are. Whooo! yeah, I’m in heaven. For about 5 minutes. Then, like any toy, they start to get boring. Pretty soon your asking yourself, what else ya got? I almost like concealed breasts better than revealed ones. Once they are out in the open for a while they lose a bit of their majesty and do get a little boring. They have to be a part of a set of toys that are all used collectively to build an experience like the constructacon transformers. That’s not to say that I don’t unleash a nice pair when I get a chance, just that the more I play with them the less exciting they are. That’s why you gotta get new toys from time to time. DaLovin’ Dj ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915/98 "2003-07-26T00:53:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lamia \* > \*\*And I believe that Morris does not know what a woman without a bra looks like. That’s the problem I’ve always had with his theory. Breasts enhanced by foundation undergarments or surgery can look a heck of a lot like buns, but breasts in their natural, free state – not so much. \*\* Hmm. good point. Still, the fact remains most hetro guys are turned on by them and it gives one something to look at up front. Perhaps the binding into clevage is man’s attempt to return to the crack. It wouldn’t be the first time people have altered their appearances from the sake of attractiveness (ie bustles, girdles, wonderbras). In any event, boobies are good. ---
**Author:** ![pencilpusher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d6d6ee/32.png) [@pencilpusher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pencilpusher)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915/99 "2003-07-26T11:46:05Z")
I honestly TRIED to restrain myself from posting in this thread… even passed over it a few times… but I can’t help myself. Tits are BEAUTIFUL!! I have two of my own and NEVER get tired of playing with them (mine OR my GFs) They are wonderous and multifacited. What does a man have that can give nutrition to a baby AND provide entertainment for the male species? Nothing on earth is as lovely as breasts IMNSHO. They are soft enough to sleep on and delicious enough to suck on. They come in all colors, shapes and sizes so you have a plethora of options. Don’t hate them cause you can’t grow them sweety. Just accept them and go on with life cause their NOT going anywhere. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![MJCassidy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@MJCassidy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MJCassidy)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915/100 "2012-06-24T23:20:34Z")
I’m an A5S man myself, but tits are good starting points. Maybe you are asexual, or you could have a hormone defiance. Check with your doctor or eat some red meat. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts-are-boring-yawn/189915.md?page=6)