# Breasts
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [April 15, 2001, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040 "2001-04-15T04:43:20Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040/1 "2001-04-15T04:43:20Z")
Breasts. Boobs. Tits. Hooters. Bazongas. Flesh boulders. Meat Mountains. Whatever you want to call 'em, you gotta love 'em.
I like breast, myself. It brings out images of softness in my head. It’s a very smooth word, almost silky, which only makes it all the more pleasant, reminding me of the very reasons I like them so much. Why, the word itself is sheer beauty!
Soft and pliable, yet still with that hint of firmness, nothing appeals to the sense of touch quite as much as a breast. Beautiful smooth skin, so pleasant to feel. Why, I could play with breasts all day long.
Now if you want to get scientific, they’re nothing but skin covering fat and mammary glands. This is no way explains their innate ability to attract. But somewhere in there is something, perhaps something that cant be seen or measured, but something so pleasant as to be irresistable. Perhaps Freud was right and it has something to do with mothers and childhood. I hope not, though. Me, I think that there’s just something mystical in a breast that can have so many qualities.
What qualities? The obvious, of course, is sexual attraction. They’re just so sexy. Beyond that, even in a non-sexual way, they just make one feel good. Well, me at least. I touch a breast and all my troubles fall away.
Dont even get me started on nipples. Big or small, dark or light, whatever your flavour, you know you love them. So nice to see, to feel, to lick. A soft nipple has the same joyous qualities of the breast; a hard nipple on the end of a breast, well… that’s plain amazing to me. There’s nothing better in the world to suck on.
A covered breast can, of course, be just as fun. The cloth, showing curves yet not showing all, leaving something to the imagination, can evoke even more feeling than a naked one. What do the clothes hide? And, better yet, when do I get to find out? Ah, the joys of anticipation!
I dont understand why I like them so much, but I think I like it better that way. There’s something fun about not knowing, too.
I know this is probably about the billionth breast thread to have started. But it’s been on my mind all night and I wanted to get out just how strong my feelings on them run, and to see some reaction.
I’m not even sure if I’ve covered everything. There aren’t words in the English language that are sufficiently descriptive.
Yep. I do so love breasts.
---
### Author:  [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040/2 "2001-04-15T04:49:19Z")
Well, Mnem. All’s I have to say is:
(o)(o)
😃
Enjoy.
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### Author:  [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040/3 "2001-04-15T04:51:27Z")
I like guy breasts…
|.@.|
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### Author:  [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040/4 "2001-04-15T04:51:55Z")
You know what I like about breasts?
\*\*\*EVERYTHING!
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### Author:  [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040/5 "2001-04-15T05:17:10Z")
ME TOO!!
…and those gell filled squishy stress balls are fun too.
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### Author:  [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040/6 "2001-04-15T05:18:18Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \*
> \*\*I like guy breasts…
>
> |.@.| \*\*
_lifts up his shirt_
I got em! here ya go matt!
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### Author:  [@that\_darn\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/that_darn_cat)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040/7 "2001-04-15T05:27:04Z")
[john cleese]
Isn’t it awfully nice to have mammeries,
Isn’t it frightfully good to have a pair?
It’s swell to have boobies.
It’s divine to own rack,
From the tiniest little titties
To the world’s biggest cups.
So, three cheers for your Bazooms or your Wowzas.
Hooray for your two-eyed balls of fun ,
Your pair of peaches, your man’s best friends,
Your Girls, or your knockers.
You can wrap them up in ribbons.
You can slip them in your socks,
But don’t take them out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won’t come back.
[john cleese]
---
### Author:  [@Palmyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palmyra)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040/8 "2001-04-15T05:27:48Z")
Mine are more like this:
sub(o)[/sub]
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### Author:  [@Palmyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palmyra)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040/9 "2001-04-15T05:30:32Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by that\_darn\_cat \*
> \*\*[john cleese]
> song
> [john cleese] \*\*
Funny as hell man 🙂 I watched that one a week or two ago.
not to nitpick, but Eric Idle sang it. Though I imagine John Cleese would have sung it with his silly french accent, the one from the flying sheep bit. ::snickers::
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### Author:  [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040/10 "2001-04-15T05:33:50Z")
But… but… Dont you all see the _poetic beauty_ of them?! They’re just so _elegant_!
That said, I agree with **Totoro**.
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### Author:  [@Palmyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palmyra)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040/11 "2001-04-15T05:40:32Z")
I’m not disagreeing with you Mnem, just demonstrating the wide variety of breats that makes each pair so intriguing.
::re-reads above sentence::
Damn… You’d think I was a _guy_ or something from that remark. 😃
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### Author:  [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040/12 "2001-04-15T06:01:50Z")
Breasts. They’re not just for breakfast anymore. 😃
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### Author:  [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040/13 "2001-04-15T06:37:47Z")
Thank you. Oh Lord in Heaven, Thank you. A wonderful tribute to a wonderful pair of joyous fun bags. God bless the breastages. Boobage is Good.
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### Author:  [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040/14 "2001-04-15T09:21:06Z")
Just be thankful for the alliteration opportunities they’ve given porno writers over the years, _mammoth-mammaried mommas_ and _dual-domed damsels_ being my favourites. Gotta love dem porno writers.
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### Author:  [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040/15 "2001-04-15T12:52:57Z")
I’ve been in love with breasts since I was a boy. Now that I’m a man…well, I’m more likely to get what I’ve always wanted.
But the OP made me think of something. There are many different slang words for breasts, and I wondered if anyone else thought the way I do; specifically, that various breast sizes and types fit various descriptive terms for breasts. (e.g. smaller breasts are better described as titties rather than hooters)
Well, whatever you wish to call them, I’m all for them.
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### Author:  [@berdollos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/berdollos)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040/16 "2001-04-15T12:56:45Z")
Your love of breasts is genetically programmed into you.
That is why you love breasts.
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### Author:  [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040/17 "2001-04-15T12:58:10Z")
Here ya go, guys!
(_Y_)
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### Author:  [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040/18 "2001-04-15T13:11:38Z")
The only problem I have with this is that not enough women have been sending me pictures of theirs.
I fully expect this situation to be rectified soon.
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### Author:  [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040/19 "2001-04-15T13:52:38Z")
Wow. Mnementh, my breasats thank you for such a lovely tribute! 😃
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### Author:  [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/breasts/62040/20 "2001-04-15T13:53:57Z")
Breasts. My breasts thank you.
Sheesh. I need more coffee.
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