# Brewsters Millions. How would YOU have spent it? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 17, 2003, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902 "2003-05-17T15:29:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/21 "2003-05-18T15:19:24Z")
Thirty. Million. Dollars. Of ice cream. Oooh, yaaaah. ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/22 "2003-05-18T18:18:00Z")
How about a HUGE dopefest with an open bar, 1st class tickets for all the doper friends, rented limos to works! Better yet a three week dopefest changing locations every week, from Amsterdam, smoking drinking and whoring… Dinsney land for a week and who knows where the third. I suspect that would eat up a great deal of money. ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/23 "2003-05-18T18:46:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stinkpalm \* > \*\*Oh, one more thing. You can’t name prices and pay more for something just to get rid of the money. Like he did in the hotel. The rooms were 100K a week and he told the manager he would pay 1 mil a week. > > None of that silliness > > Only true price/values. \*\* True. But wasn’t there a lack of availablity? Didn’t he have to up the ante to get the hotel to clear out the floor and provide for his large group? If you factor extra security and services, plus the inevitable LEGAL fees the hotel must pay when people sue them for kicking them out, I think it MAY be above board. ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/24 "2003-05-18T21:42:00Z")
50 million bucks inside a month Buy an F-16 or an F-18 , or mig equivalents Barnstorm a couple of towns , fly under some bridges and then point the thing at the ground and punch out. Easily spent 🙂 Declan ---
**Author:** ![N9IWP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/n9iwp/32/3154_2.png) [@N9IWP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N9IWP)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/25 "2003-05-18T22:00:51Z")
I thought about renting an Avid editing bay, but thats “only” about $1250/day. But I’m thinking a movie can go through $50m in a month pretty easy, though I’m not sure how much of that is “normaly rentable”. And arguable the end result migh States are under budget crunches, I wonder if you could rent North Dakota for a month… How about a deep sea submersable? Construction equipment? The Moscone center, the Superdome, or any over convention center? Famous people are available to speak at commencment, conventions, etc so does that count as “normally rentable”? This is FUN Brian ---
**Author:** ![Splanky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b2d939/32.png) [@Splanky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Splanky)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/26 "2003-05-18T22:19:55Z")
50 mil worth of TV advertisements. That should go by VERY quickly, especially if a big event like the Super Bowl is coming up soon. ---
**Author:** ![jimmmy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/73ab20/32.png) [@jimmmy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimmmy)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/27 "2003-05-19T00:39:58Z")
Would 10 open parties count as “charity”? I’m thinking you could have an open house catered by the best restraunts in town, open bar, with say Aerosmith in Boston, Bruce in Jersey etc. playing as entertainment, a “Brewsters Tour” maybe and tour city to city (overadversting) free drink and grub for first 5000 in each town. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/28 "2003-05-19T01:20:49Z")
I would start a company, hire only hot militant chicks from schools like Wellesley and then sexually harrass them all until they sued all the money away. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/29 "2003-05-19T01:31:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by N9IWP \* > \*\*States are under budget crunches, I wonder if you could rent North Dakota for a month… > \*\* Have you been to North Dakota? For $50 mil, you could rent it for a _year_. ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Random](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Joe\_Random](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Random)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/30 "2003-05-19T02:15:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stinkpalm \* > **You can only give away 5% to charity and 5% to gambling.** Isn’t the whole _thing_ like gambling? If you don’t manage to spend all the money, you don’t get the big payoff. I’d just keep the 50 mil. Is there a stipulation that any money that you _don’t_ spend is taken away from you at the end of the month? Hell, I’d just disappear. It shouldn’t be hard to create a new identity with $50 million. ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/31 "2003-05-19T02:22:23Z")
That is one of the first rules set forth. If he doesn’t spend it all he gets NOTHING but hte shirt on his back. He doesn’t get to keep any of the extra cash. That is why his uncle made a pussy clause. Brewster could have taken $1million dollars instead of going for the big bucks. ---
**Author:** ![N9IWP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/n9iwp/32/3154_2.png) [@N9IWP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N9IWP)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/32 "2003-05-19T02:28:19Z")
Dang, I was going to say Superbowl ads. Brian a few hours late and $50m short ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/33 "2003-05-19T04:52:29Z")
If I’m reading the rules right, they say I can’t buy things for people; is there anything that says I can’t just write out a couple of big fat checks? If so…five of my closest people will become very, very rich. ---
**Author:** ![DKW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dkw/32/3118_2.png) [@DKW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DKW)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/34 "2003-05-19T05:02:30Z")
I’m with Cyberpundit or Declan. Get it over with in one step; none of this piecemeal BS (although I admit it’d probably make for a boring movie). And no, buying financial options with no intent to exercise them does NOT constitute gambling. It’s a guaranteed loss, and gambling implies at least a _chance_ that you’ll come out ahead. True, this is tantamount to throwing your money away, but that’s the whole point, isn’t it? More ideas: - Invite every 3 Card Monte gang on the planet to the mother of all sucker-fests, starring you. You’ll be cleaned out within a week. And no, 3 Card Monte isn’t gambling, it’s a _swindle_, so it’s not subject to any restrictions. - Travel to some repressive kleptocracy, openly flout your wealth, and let them rob you blind. (Make sure it’s the kind of place that’ll just deport you afterward, however.) Maybe, for irony’s sake, toss in a comment about how you don’t care because there’s a lot more where that came from. - Two words…soft money. Hey, if it’s good enough for shortsighted special interests and bloodsucking corporations, it’s good enough for you. Put a few mil in the Green Party’s coffers and then see if the yammering news drones can still dismiss Ralph Nader as “egotistical” and “not a factor”. Pump up the Libertarians and let them know that, why yes, you like having money too. Go local and make some no-name whose policies you happen to agree with mayor…stir up memories of Jesse Ventura! The possibilities are endless. And believe me, with the cost of campaigning these days, $50 mil. will go by like _nothing_. (Oh, and a political party does not, in ANY possible way, shape, or form, constitue a charity, so nuts to that rule again.) ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/35 "2003-05-19T05:32:56Z")
1. Buy small African nation. 2. Pay opposition to stage bloody coup. 3. Flee for life with the clothes on your back. 4. Burn clothes. 5. Collect $300 million. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/36 "2003-05-19T05:47:45Z")
As I recall, in the movie, his stroke of genius was to run for political office, under a campaign of “Vote None of the Above”. But he had to officially step down from the race when it started looking like he might win, because the high-salary mayor’s office was considered an “asset”. Myself, I’d blow it all on scientific research. What’s the going rate to rent time on a supercomputer or particle accelerator? And if that’s not enough to burn away the cash, then rent several of them. No tangible assets, and something might even come of it in the end. As a side note, in the movie, he was a fool to waste his charity and gambling money at the beginning of the month. He should have saved the charity, at least, for the very last day, as a pillow. Remember, he’s got to go _exactly_ broke: A penny over broke, and he loses, and he started off at rock bottom, so he’s got no room to dig. So he’s best off if he can write that check to the Red Cross for exactly $1,473,962.43, or whatever exact amount it is he needs to blow. ---
**Author:** ![Phnord\_Prephect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df705f/32.png) [@Phnord\_Prephect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phnord_Prephect)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/37 "2003-05-19T05:53:16Z")
Well, the provision is that you’re not allowed to buy BIG extravagant presents for friends. I would assume that a $50 mil check counts as a ‘big extravagant present’. But most major cities have a good million people in 'em… i know mine does, and then some. Heck, there’s 250 million people in the USA alone, probably a lot more by now. That’s $0.20 each. Four nickels. Add in the cost of stamps to mail 'em out and the cost of hiring a staff of however many people it would take to do that in a month, and you’re WAY, WAY over the $50 mil limit. More fun? Call up a thousand movie theaters. Tell them each that you will buy the next thousand movie tickets they sell… let the people in free, send me bill, thanks. That’s $5-10 million every day. A month to do that 5-10 times? EASY. Rent out all major amusement parks that you can afford, the same way. Tell 'em you’ll buy $50 mil worth of tickets, just start letting people in. Go to ballparks during games. Buy everybody a beer. Buy a million gameboys and start handing them out. The possibilities are endless. ---
**Author:** ![Timbuktu555](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e19b73/32.png) [@Timbuktu555](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Timbuktu555)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2013, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/38 "2013-03-07T12:51:25Z")
I would run a nationwide commercial that offers up a free bigmac, taco, etc. and pick up the tab. 50 million gone in one day by lunch time. Thank you for the 300 million. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2013, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/39 "2013-03-07T13:10:40Z")
Call ILM and have them green srceen/CGI me into “The Matrix” as Neo, with Aisha Tyler as Trinity. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2013, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/40 "2013-03-07T13:40:55Z")
The take it and run money should also have been indexed to inflation. Considering just the time since the OP it would be more like $1.3 million. I’d take it. I wouldn’t trust such a silly clause, and when combined with my pre existing assets, it would be more than enough for me to live comfortably for the rest of my life without working. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902.md?page=3)