# Brewsters Millions. How would YOU have spent it? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 17, 2003, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902 "2003-05-17T15:29:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Timbuktu555](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e19b73/32.png) [@Timbuktu555](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Timbuktu555)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2013, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/61 "2013-03-08T09:55:46Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > I think the “buy everybody a beer” ideas would come under the heading of “charity.” That would disqualify the ideas that popped into my head first as well. > > The Superbowl ad idea is the one I’d favor now. Or spend $50 million on a series of nation-wide ads on whatever subject you want to expound on. You aren’t selling anything, so there would be no assets resulting from the ads. In the movie he buys 200 strangers on the street lunch at 200 a head in a fancy restaurant. So why not 50 million people a cheeseburger? ---
**Author:** ![Apocalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Apocalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apocalypso)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2013, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/62 "2013-03-09T01:39:27Z")
Missed it while it was still alive… I’d spend 29 days travelling all over the country, even a few other countries. See places I’ve always wanted to see, sample authentic cuisine from far-away lands, etc. Say I took a bunch of friends and family with me and got really fancy, first class or even charter flights, 5 star hotels and restaurants, resorts, etc. Now this wouldn’t even put a dent in the $50 mil, but I and a dozen or so friends and family would have the time of our lives. Then come home and buy the naming rights to a sports stadium for $49 million or whatever I have left. I’d maybe try to buy PNC Park naming rights (home of the perennial loser Pirates) and rename it Roberto Clemente Stadium. Or pick some other stadium and name it after some nearly forgotten great from the past. It’s not charity since no one benefits from it, and it’s not an asset since it’s just a name of a stadium. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2013, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/63 "2013-03-09T01:59:10Z")
I would give half a shitload of cash to the U.S. Treasury’s Bureau of the Public Debt to reduce the deficit, and the other half to the Democratic National Committee to elect politicians I like. Neither is a “charity.” I win! ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/64 "2013-03-10T00:45:14Z")
Holy crap this is an old thread! I don’t remember writing this thing. This is the second really old zombie thread of mine resurrected in the last month. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/65 "2013-03-10T00:48:31Z")
Spend it all on producing a Broadway show that’s guaranteed to flop. You know, like _Mussolini in the Fall_, something like that… ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/66 "2013-03-10T02:31:29Z")
Buy up the entire world supply of a short-lived isotope that will be gone in thirty days? ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/67 "2013-03-10T02:50:07Z")
Is there any reason I can’t just buy $50 million worth of pig iron, and dump it in the ocean for an artificial reef? And cashing out the $50 million, and using it to make a giant paper-mache effigy to use at Burning Man is right out, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/68 "2013-03-10T02:51:47Z")
Weird. I was just thinking last night that someone should remake this and call it Brewster’s Billions. They could have a lot of fun in today’s luxury market. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/69 "2013-03-10T13:49:42Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > Is there any reason I can’t just buy $50 million worth of pig iron, and dump it in the ocean for an artificial reef? > > And cashing out the $50 million, and using it to make a giant paper-mache effigy to use at Burning Man is right out, isn’t it? Interesting question: what if you buy something that’s _supposed_ to be destroyed? ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/70 "2013-03-10T14:00:34Z")
Easiest solution in the world: Just give it away. People will pretty much take free cash if you’re just giving it away. Doesn’t violate rule one (I wouldn’t have to tell anyone WHY I was giving it away, and I doubt very much that they’d care either as long as they were getting free money). So yeah, if really hard up to spend the rest…give it away. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/71 "2013-03-10T14:08:34Z")
What if you bought something really valuable and let it get stolen? (I know I left those diamonds right there on the bench!). Is that cheating? What if you bought an asset you intended to get rid of and it really was stolen; how would that count? ---
**Author:** ![Septima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Septima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Septima)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/72 "2013-03-10T14:49:18Z")
I’d throw a really lavish party, like the most blow-out spectacular wedding you can imagine. 3000 people, five course meals, catered by the most expensive chefs money could buy, rent ten different historical mansions, pay extra people to organize the whole thing in a mad hurry, seven hundred videographers, swimming pools filled with rare champagnes, the whole works. I’d spend several million on the dress alone. Think 7000 thousand diamond and pearl lace dress (paid extra to have it done quickly, of course). Then a “thrash-the-dress” photoshoot at the end, just to make sure It’s not a “asset”. This doesn’t violate the rule against destroying things, since I’m using it for art, not just destroying it for the heck of it. Then I’d cover all my bases by taking out a loan for even more wedding stuff, just in case someone sends a wedding present. That should burn through all of it, easily. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/73 "2013-03-10T16:12:41Z")
> [@Septima](#): > > I’d throw a really lavish party, like the most blow-out spectacular wedding you can imagine. 3000 people, five course meals, catered by the most expensive chefs money could buy, rent ten different historical mansions, pay extra people to organize the whole thing in a mad hurry, seven hundred videographers, swimming pools filled with rare champagnes, the whole works. > > I’d spend several million on the dress alone. Think 7000 thousand diamond and pearl lace dress (paid extra to have it done quickly, of course). Then a “thrash-the-dress” photoshoot at the end, just to make sure It’s not a “asset”. This doesn’t violate the rule against destroying things, since I’m using it for art, not just destroying it for the heck of it. > > Then I’d cover all my bases by taking out a loan for even more wedding stuff, just in case someone sends a wedding present. > > That should burn through all of it, easily. Don’t forget to have Adele, Beyonce Knowles, Pink, and Taylor Swift give a private concert at the reception. ---
**Author:** ![Septima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Septima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Septima)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/74 "2013-03-10T17:26:27Z")
[QUOTE=Little Nemo] Don’t forget to have Adele, Beyonce Knowles, Pink, and Taylor Swift give a private concert at the reception. [/QUOTE] But of course 😃 Any left-over petty cash goes into renting a private cruise ship, fleet of helicopters and food for the honeymoon. Anything still left, I’ll just hand over to a travel agent, with instructions to “arrange something suitably magnificent at Rome, Paris, Alexandria, New York and Rio”. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/75 "2013-03-10T17:47:49Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Don’t forget to have Adele, Beyonce Knowles, Pink, and Taylor Swift give a private concert at the reception. From the OP: > [@Cubsfan](#): > > …I am adding one rule of my own. You cannot “rent” things/people that are not normally rentable. For example you can’t pay the Bulls and the Lakers to play a private basketball game for you… ---
**Author:** ![Septima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Septima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Septima)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/76 "2013-03-10T18:13:59Z")
**Elendil’s Heir** , that’s not the same thing. Sports teams don’t give performances on command, but singers do. They have agents. I can phone up their agent, ask their price, and they can say yes or no just like any other entertainer. They are very much “normally rentable”. Granted, I’m a private person and not, say, a music festival, but the principle is the same. ---
**Author:** ![President\_Johnny\_Gentle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@President\_Johnny\_Gentle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/President_Johnny_Gentle)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/77 "2013-03-10T19:08:29Z")
> [@Septima](#): > > **Elendil’s Heir** , that’s not the same thing. Sports teams don’t give performances on command, but singers do. They have agents. I can phone up their agent, ask their price, and they can say yes or no just like any other entertainer. They are very much “normally rentable”. Granted, I’m a private person and not, say, a music festival, but the principle is the same. I haven’t seen the movie since about 1985, but didn’t he hire the Yankees to play an exhibition game against his baseball team? ---
**Author:** ![yellowjacketcoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4bbf92/32.png) [@yellowjacketcoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowjacketcoder)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/78 "2013-03-11T00:13:26Z")
> [@President\_Johnny\_Gentle](#): > > I haven’t seen the movie since about 1985, but didn’t he hire the Yankees to play an exhibition game against his baseball team? Indeed, a three inning exhibition match with Brewster as the pitcher against the Yankees. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/79 "2013-03-11T04:04:19Z")
What Septima said. Singers don’t talk about it but they do give private performances for large fees on a regular basis. As an example we have Elizabeth Brook’s [Bat Mitzvah](http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3784213&page=1). Aerosmith, 50 Cent, and Don Henley performed. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902/80 "2013-03-11T05:47:46Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > Interesting question: what if you buy something that’s _supposed_ to be destroyed? Saaay, like $50 million worth of…fireworks? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brewsters-millions-how-would-you-have-spent-it/175902.md?page=5)