# Brian Urlacher, why must you break my heart **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 24, 2003, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569 "2003-09-24T16:49:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569/41 "2003-09-26T15:12:33Z")
So me finding him sexy is hypocrisy? I find about 65% of men in this world sexy, doesn’t mean I’m leaving my husband to do anything about it. Ever. I acknowledge that that dish over there looks good and he’d be a good fuck and then go on eating my salad. I’m not saying he can’t be attracted to other people. When I say I’d ride him six ways from Sunday if I could, I thought it would be obvious that the reason I can’t is: I’m Married To Someone Else. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569/42 "2003-09-26T15:49:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*So me finding him sexy is hypocrisy? I find about 65% of men in this world sexy, doesn’t mean I’m leaving my husband to do anything about it. Ever. I acknowledge that that dish over there looks good and he’d be a good fuck and then go on eating my salad. I’m not saying he can’t be attracted to other people. > > When I say I’d ride him six ways from Sunday if I could, I thought it would be obvious that the reason I can’t is: I’m Married To Someone Else. \*\* I guess then, in the context of this discussion, the question is whether you would ride him if you were single, but he were married. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569/43 "2003-09-26T15:52:58Z")
Never! Not ever. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569/44 "2003-09-26T15:59:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*Never! Not ever. \*\* Fair enough. ---
**Author:** ![LordVor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90ced4/32.png) [@LordVor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LordVor)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569/45 "2003-09-26T16:25:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*When I say I’d ride him six ways from Sunday if I could, I thought it would be obvious that the reason I can’t is: I’m Married To Someone Else. \*\* Perhaps this point would have been better made had you included the “if I could” part originally. You didn’t. What you ended up saying was “Urlacker is a dweeb because he slept with some pretty skank while married, but I, a married lady, would totally sleep with that pretty boy.” Hardly surprizing that people took you to task on it. -lv ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569/46 "2003-09-26T16:38:49Z")
Well then I’m sorry for the confusion. If I had the opportunity, and both of us were single, I’d have mad crazy sex with him. But that’s not going to happen, because I’m married. However, I’d have no problem, even being married, telling him that I find him sexually attractive. And my husband has no problem with such statements either. I’ve done it before. And well, calling Urlacher a pretty boy is just ASKING for trouble 😉 ---
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569/47 "2003-09-27T13:22:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > Did you miss the part where I’m giving Urlacher flak for sleeping around? I’m blaming him completely. I wouldn’t care if he fucked a young, nubile virgin who granted him three wishes, URLACHER is the ass in this situation, and I’ve said that from the beginning. Don’t accuse me of double standards. No double standard? Let’s break it down. Regarding Paris you said: > [@](#): > > …icky, stank ass, VD riddled Paris “all access” Hilton… > > She’s fucked everything that moves in hollywood and beyond and is notoriously drunk and stumbling and thrown out of bars and parties for being an idiot. > > If slutty Christina Aguilera is your thing, you may like her Nice character assassination of the one who’s not to blame. Now let’s see how you take Brian to task: > [@](#): > > …why do hot guys have such terrible fucking taste? > > Just watch it, romeo. > > He’s goin’ skank. > > Don’t you guys get it? he’s not supposed to be dirty. He’s a big cuddly teddy bear > > It’s the leaving his wife and kid to get pussy that bugs me the most. > > I suspect his wife was tired of putting up with such shit. BUT, I could be wrong. I hope I’m wrong. I still want to like him. I apologize for my comments. Clearly, you saved your most potent venom for him. :rolleyes: > [@](#): > > However, Shockey saying he wouldn’t play with a homosexual on his team and calling his boss a homo is not really my bag, respect him all you want. He said he didn’t want homosexuals in the locker room with him. The conversation (during a Howard Stern interview) went like this: > [@](#): > > Howard: How would you feel about having gays on your team? > > Shockey: I wouldn’t wanna know anything about it. > > Howard: But if there were gays on the team, then they’d be in the locker room with you while you were showering… > > Shockey: Oh, well, I wouldn’t stand for that. Baited, much? Not a peep came out about his comments until three weeks later, when a newspaper, looking to sell papers, filled a slow news day by playing up the story. And he didn’t call his boss a homo…he engaged in fairly normal smack-talk by calling the _opposing team’s_ coach in the _upcoming game_ a name. Most guys don’t generate as much hype, so you don’t hear about their smack-talk anywhere other than pregame shows. But maybe you’re right about this one, too. Politically incorrect smack-talk is much worse than leaving your family to go chasing tail. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569/48 "2003-09-28T16:50:20Z")
They’re both terrible. The point is I THOUGHT Brian Urlacher was a cuddly nice teddy bear guy. I THOUGHT he was a family man, dedicated to his daughter, I THOUGHT he cared about his wife. OBVIOUSLY this week I’ve been proven wrong, and that’s what this whole thread is about. I’ve ALWAYS thought Hilton was a skank…Urlacher is NEW SCHOOL skank…which is the source of my shock. I heard Shockey on Stern, baiting or not, he didn’t sound exactly like he embraces homosexuality. ---
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569/49 "2003-09-29T00:16:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > They’re both terrible. The point is I THOUGHT Brian Urlacher was a cuddly nice teddy bear guy. I THOUGHT he was a family man, dedicated to his daughter, I THOUGHT he cared about his wife. OBVIOUSLY this week I’ve been proven wrong, and that’s what this whole thread is about. I’ve ALWAYS thought Hilton was a skank…Urlacher is NEW SCHOOL skank…which is the source of my shock. Fair enough. > [@](#): > > I heard Shockey on Stern, baiting or not, he didn’t sound exactly like he embraces homosexuality. No doubt. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569/50 "2003-09-29T05:38:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*Urlacher has a contract for $70 fucking million dollars. What does he need a rich girl for? \*\* You ask M.C. Hammer that same question 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569/51 "2003-09-29T05:45:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*Never! Not ever. \*\* [sub]Well, hardly ever.[/sub] Couldn’t be helped. Never shall a Pirates of Penzance reference be ignored. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Raven\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@The\_Raven\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Raven_1)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569/52 "2003-09-29T21:21:33Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by adam yax_\*\* > …drilled out skank…\*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The\_Raven \* > \*\*Do I need to say it? > > -Rav > > \*\* > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by adam yax_\*\* > Yes, I think you do need to say it because I have no idea what you mean. > \*\* C’mon **Adam** , doncha know a [sub]band name [/sub] when you see it? He made me say it! Don’t blame me! 😛 -Rav ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569/53 "2003-09-30T02:26:26Z")
And the heartbreak continues with the spanking the Bears are getting from the Packers on national TV. Your boy Favre is making Urlacher his bitch. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569/54 "2003-09-30T13:01:07Z")
But Paris sure looked good in that #54 jersey. Mmmmm…Need me some Hilton! ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569/55 "2003-09-30T13:45:08Z")
This town is about to turn on Brian in a REEEEAL ugly way. I hope he enjoys his ‘friendship’ with Hilton while it lasts, because he played like SHIT last night. What a looong fucking season this shall be. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569/56 "2003-09-30T17:32:03Z")
Kordell Stewart didn’t help the Bears much either. I’m afraid that last night’s game is typical, my friends. So Urlacher and Hilton are the new Ben and J-Lo? I wonder how long this will last… ---
**Author:** ![Jerrybear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8c91f0/32.png) [@Jerrybear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jerrybear)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569/57 "2003-09-30T17:42:44Z")
Kordell Stewart made a deal with the devil to have just one great moment in his football career. Unfortunately for me, it had to happen against my favorite college team, the Michigan Wolverines. Oh, well, at least I had the pleasure of watching my favorite pro team pound Kordell into the turf of the New Soldier Field. All is right in the world today, because the Packers still own Chicago! ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569/58 "2003-09-30T17:53:26Z")
Yes, you beat the worst team in the league! Quite a feather in your cap! ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569/59 "2003-09-30T17:56:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*Urlacher has a contract for $70 fucking million dollars. What does he need a rich girl for? \*\* Lets see…half goes in the Divorce, plus child support to cover tuition to Eaton or Choat & Uni…Agent gets 10 % of gross…hangers on & overhead…there’s the cocaine ‘stupidity tax’…and he’s in a profession that will grind up his knees before he’s 30. (me thinks he like the millionaire lifestyle & wants it to last into his 80s. He doesn’t want to end up selling insurance in Florida or selling cars in NJ) ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569/60 "2003-09-30T18:01:16Z")
Ah, and Paris Hilton being interviewed last night said “I love the Bears! They’re my team!” :rolleyes: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brian-urlacher-why-must-you-break-my-heart/203569.md?page=4)