# Bridesmaid’s tales of woe **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 23, 2002, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bridesmaid-s-tales-of-woe/120451 "2002-07-23T21:38:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bridesmaid-s-tales-of-woe/120451/41 "2002-07-30T19:17:34Z")
**Rasa** : _Amazon Bridesmaids from the Moon_ would make a fantastic movie. **tlw** , I am not sure if I should thank you . . . On the one hand, I shall think of you on my sister’s wedding day, and smile a smile of infinite relief. On the other hand, you have planted this awful scenario in my mind. Surely when I arrive at the Gates of Hell, and Satan goes rummaging through my brain for Podkayne’s Perfect Torment for All Eternity, He will find this, and I will curse you until the End of Time. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Medea’s Child \* > For instance, to the girl who wants to dress all her bridesmaids in empire waist gowns with poofy sleeves for her Lord of the Rings wedding, I cannot address the following. “Child, are you on crack? Unless you hired these people, they are your friends, please treat them as such and put them in something that has a hope of flattering their figure! Even if you don’t think it looks elven.” I would be so pumped if I could be a bridesmaid in a LOTR wedding! (Even though I couldn’t pull off “elven” with six months advance warning and full pallet-load of Slim Fast. With the right passel of bridesmaids, they might be happy with it, is all I’m saying. But even if all her friends were into it, there’s probably a sister of a cousin or something that is not so thrilled. _Podkayne wanders off, fantasizing about having her hair braided up all pretty like an elfy-girl._ ---
**Author:** ![seawitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@seawitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seawitch)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bridesmaid-s-tales-of-woe/120451/42 "2002-07-30T21:36:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jinwicked \* > \*\* > > Do you still have this dress, does it happen to be a size 7 or 9, and if so, how much do you want for it? 😉 \*\* I think my mother has it in storage. I’m visiting her in a month, and I’ll rake through and look for it; it would be a size 9, and horrible. If I can find it, it’s yours for free. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bridesmaid-s-tales-of-woe/120451/43 "2002-07-30T21:59:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shodan \* > **Am I the only one horrified at the statement in “A Titanic Wedding Disaster” where the mother of the bride was deciding who was going to be a bridesmaid, and who was not, based on whether or not they could be fitted into the dresses they just bought?** You must have really skimmed that. The **groom’s** mother left the bridal party up a drought-ravaged creek by not only throwing together “gowns” that looked like an ape had sewn them, but also by not revealing them until the morning of the ceremony. The **bride’s** mother pulled off the impossible in a matter of hours. She charged through Sears (on her handicapped scooter, no less!) found appropriate dresses for each member of the wedding party, even the too-big-for-kids-too-small-for-misses junior bridesmaid, and bought **multiple sizes of each**. She did everything she could to insure that everyone would be included, and the uncertainty about fitting was not her fault by any means. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bridesmaid-s-tales-of-woe/120451/44 "2002-07-30T23:13:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by amarinth \* > \*\* > Remember those dresses in Sense and Sensibility where the waist was right underneath the breast line & everyone looked either fat or 5 months pregnant? > > That’s empire line. > > I’ve never seen it look good on anyone. Ever. \*\* Whenever somebody makes a Jane Austen-period movie, I think the women look like they’re wearing girls’ nightgowns. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2002, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bridesmaid-s-tales-of-woe/120451/45 "2002-07-31T02:01:17Z")
a35362: that is the perfect description of an empire waist. It really is flattering to slightly pregnant woman. The problem is, a woman who has just started to show doesn’t believe she looks good in anything. Actually, they look pretty good in tiny little bikinis. There is no question about whether that’s just a pot-belly. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2002, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bridesmaid-s-tales-of-woe/120451/46 "2002-07-31T02:45:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by amarinth \* > \*\* > Remember those dresses in Sense and Sensibility where the waist was right underneath the breast line & everyone looked either fat or 5 months pregnant? > > That’s empire line. > > I’ve never seen it look good on anyone. Ever. \*\* Um, I look good in an empire waist line. I love them-a proper regency dress does NOT make one look pregnant! ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2002, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bridesmaid-s-tales-of-woe/120451/47 "2002-07-31T03:36:03Z")
quote: ## quote: ## Originally posted by seawitch My sister, though, won the contest - she had us dress as Southern Belles. Hoop skirts, big hats, little lace gloves, and parasols. Due to a horrible lack of taste on her part, the dresses were red satin with black lace trim. We looked like the porno version of Gone With the Wind. OMG! I want to wear one of those! Think of how much FUN you could have with those dresses! Everyone seems to think of me as “The Innocent One” so it is GREAT shocking them sometimes, and I think one of those dresses would do the trick. Where did you ever find them? I want one for Halloween! Pair it with some smokey eyeshadow and red lipstick… ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2002, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bridesmaid-s-tales-of-woe/120451/48 "2002-07-31T04:07:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\* > > Um, I look good in an empire waist line. I love them-a proper regency dress does NOT make one look pregnant! \*\* But, as I didn’t see you, the statement still holds. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bridesmaid-s-tales-of-woe/120451/49 "2002-08-08T16:53:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \*\*\* > Um, I look good in an empire waist line. I love them-a proper regency dress does NOT make one look pregnant! \*\* Yay Guinastasia! I knew there had to be somebody on this planet who looked good in those things! Can you post a picture? I went to wedding last weekend where a variety of bridesmaids looked good in identical gowns, so it _is_ possible. ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bridesmaid-s-tales-of-woe/120451/50 "2002-08-08T17:01:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Podkayne \* > \*\* > I would be so pumped if I could be a bridesmaid in a LOTR wedding! (Even though I couldn’t pull off “elven” with six months advance warning and full pallet-load of Slim Fast. With the right passel of bridesmaids, they might be happy with it, is all I’m saying. But even if all her friends were into it, there’s probably a sister of a cousin or something that is not so thrilled. > > _Podkayne wanders off, fantasizing about having her hair braided up all pretty like an elfy-girl._ \*\* Oh, I have no problem with the theme, I’m all for braids and flowers as dress-up foci. However, insisting that your best buds need to attempt LOTR elven is just a tad much… And i get really annoyed with the people on there about once a week or so. I explode and then feel better. This was just a single example of an overall tone of some of the people on that site that really gets under my skin. The “Its MY Day” syndrome people. I’ll shut up now. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bridesmaid-s-tales-of-woe/120451/51 "2002-08-08T18:21:14Z")
**Medea’s Child** , I know exactly what you mean about the wedding board. Some of the folks there are really helpful, but some of them I’d love to reach through the modem and slap cross-eyed. They’re just dead set that every tiny detail will be their way or the highway, and God help you if you don’t agree with them. I was in one of those weddings a few years ago. My best friend from high school asked me to be a bridesmaid, and to give her due credit, she did really try to find a color and pattern that would look all right on all three of us. We had floor length powder blue crepe dresses (“You guys can wear them again!” “Where?”) with heels dyed to match (even though no one could see our shoes under the floor length skirts :rolleyes: ), and WHITE, not tan, pantyhose. She gave us matching hairbows to wear and explained how we should do our hair for the big day, picked out our jewelry, and even went so far as to tell me what color lipstick and how much perfume I should wear. I’d never seen anything like it before. The only thing she let me pick out for myself was my nail polish (I happened to have some that matched the dress perfectly, but she wasn’t all that thrilled about it.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bridesmaid-s-tales-of-woe/120451.md?page=2)