# brightpenny, you're a loathesome bitch **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 12, 2006, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670 "2006-01-12T15:52:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/241 "2006-01-15T07:51:44Z")
> [@wolf\_meister](#): > > …snip… > Not that I am the Albert Schweitzer of this board but I managed to tear myself away from this pile-on to help somebody in GQ with an Excel question. (see my posting 132 - wolf\_meister said as he once again patted himself on the back 😃 ) > I’ll bet there were a bunch of people in this Pit thread that could have answered that or a great deal of other questions. It’s nice to see how we all expended our intellect in such a productive way. :rolleyes: > …snip… I have been in the camp that supported \*\*brightpenny \*\* but I have to say, That is not really fair, Plenty of people in this thread on either side have answered questions, gone to movies, posted in other threads, and gone about our normal lives. Even if a person thought **brightpenny** was in the wrong, it is hardly fair to accuse them of being non-productive. Specifically in \*\*Ogre’s \*\* case (not that he needs a stranger defending him) he has only made a few short posts to this thread. He does not appear to have wasted a lot of time here. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/242 "2006-01-15T07:59:57Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Do you hand-wringers need any other evidence that your victim _is not a victim_? She’s not taking this half as seriously as you are. Grow up already. When she’s hand-wringing, people ask her to grow a pair. When she has taken all of your good advice to heart, then you complain that she’s taking it too causally. ---
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/243 "2006-01-15T10:22:05Z")
> [@brightpenny](#): > > It’s getting to be a habit: every morning I make coffee, read my email, and check to see if I’m still a loathsome bitch. 😃 > > So then I thought about my name if I were to return: _brightpenny_ or a new one? Anything I post in the future is likely to have a spotlight upon it for some time, for some in a negative light. I think the only reasonable thing at this point is to change your handle to loathesome bitch - but look at the bright side; it’ll be like Cheers - everybody will know your name. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/244 "2006-01-15T10:59:26Z")
An excellent post, **brightpenny**. I join with the others in saying you should keep your name as is. You’ve survived a trial by fire here and you’ve acquitted yourself well, especially given your last post. I think you will be surprised at how quickly this will all blow over. There are many respected (and some not so respected 😃 ) people here who have committed far greater offenses than the ones you were accused of and yet here they are still, posting away like mad and to no ill effect. I confess that I did indeed think you were a ‘babe in the woods’ when I first posted to this thread and I’m glad to see that this is not really the case; and now that you’re up to speed as to how things can go around here, I think that you could probably handle pretty readily whatever snark may be thrown your way in the future. (Besides, I think you’ll find that what happened to you in the GQ thread that started all this was really something of an aberration and that you’ll probably be able to post as you first expected in most of the forums outside the Pit without much at all in the way of trouble.) So, I hope you will stay here at the Dope and that you will continue to post just as you would have had all this not happened. Much of the good you can derive here will be lost if you water down your participation. Many regards, **SA** (And on preview, 😃😃😃😃 to **Rune**!) ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/245 "2006-01-15T11:11:37Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > I think the only reasonable thing at this point is to change your handle to loathesome bitch - but look at the bright side; it’ll be like Cheers - everybody will know your name. You can do colors and fonts in your handle now!? Why didn’t I get the memo? 😕 :mad: 😃 > [@brightpenny](#): > > It’s getting to be a habit: every morning I make coffee, read my email, and check to see if I’m still a loathsome bitch. 😃 Great post. But I have to say, if you make coffee _before_ checking whether you’re still a Loathsome Bitch… meh, you obviously don’t really care that much after all… 😛 Anyway, glad to see you in good (or at least better) spirits. Stick around; it’s fun here most of the time. And as you’ve found, you can almost always find somebody to stick up for you when you’re down. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/246 "2006-01-15T11:31:30Z")
Hi, **brightpenny**! Glad you’re back. Your question wasn’t stupid and your choice of words wasn’t anywhere near over-the-top as far as I’m concerned. You’re not a sissy-pants either, though I can’t say that about everyone around here. Looking forward to your posts! ---
**Author:** ![Hokkaido\_Brit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d26b3c/32.png) [@Hokkaido\_Brit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hokkaido_Brit)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/247 "2006-01-15T12:12:53Z")
I’m glad you didn’t get chased off either. ---
**Author:** ![gommsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bcef8e/32.png) [@gommsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gommsn)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/248 "2006-01-15T12:33:39Z")
Hi Brightpenny, glad to see you’re still with us. Somebody once said “Don’t let the bastards get you down” and its good to see you didn’t. It is really a very small percentage of folks here who indulge their schoolyard fantasies in this way but that’s what happens when you throw a small match into a large pile of wood. Your support is most likely much larger than you suspect. There are many people here, like myself, who read a lot but don’t post often and I’m sure they all read this thread. It also seems to have been a learning experience for some of the regulars. Anyhoooo, good choice. And props to Wolf-meister and Starving Artist. Way to step up to the plate guys.Good on ya! \*Why the hell won’t the bolding work. Every time I click on the bold icon the page jumps back to the top and nothing happens. Same with the smilies. I can’t even Putz myself ---
**Author:** ![wonderlust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonderlust/32/7237_2.png) [@wonderlust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonderlust)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/249 "2006-01-15T16:02:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Why the hell won’t the bolding work. Every time I click on the bold icon the page jumps back to the top and nothing happens. Same with the smilies. I can’t even Putz myself Clear your browser cache. That happened to me a couple times and that’s all it took to fix it. Here, I’ll putz ya’ for ya’: :wally 😉 Thanks all ---
**Author:** ![rkts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c4cdca/32.png) [@rkts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rkts)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/250 "2006-01-15T17:03:35Z")
> [@Starving Artist](#): > > 😃 > > Don’t know what happened there, but thanks. 😛 Your capital D was changed to lower case. See [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=346338). ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/251 "2006-01-15T17:07:37Z")
> [@brightpenny](#): > > Just a note: men sometimes experience bullying as they grow up, either as victim, spectator, or perpetrator, and the form it takes is usually physical beating or stealing. Many women don’t have that _same experience_ of bullying. Instead, in our experience the same bullying mentality of dominance toward women might be expressed in sexual taunting, grabbing, or at the extreme, gang rape. Until you’ve been a woman you may not be aware of the psychological, sociological, political, and sexual threats\*\* implicit\*\* in “ganging up” behavior upon a woman in real life. It’s not unusual for people to use the only metaphor in our experience or in our fears to describe ganging up behavior. Men might refer to _gang-beating_, women to _gang-rape_. (YMMV) I clarified earlier, that my intention was to describe the dominance behavior of circling, taunting, weakening that builds in groups. I hear that, that this is a way that women experience bullying. However, it’s pretty much the most extreme form of bullying that women experience; and implying that a man is a rapist is pretty much the most appalling accusation one can make against a man in our society, more condemning even than calling him a murderer. (Child-rapist is the only one worse that I can think of). I do hope you’ll take that into consideration in the future, and not use the comparison except when the bullying you’re experiencing is really that extreme. Nothing I can do about it if you don’t, but I hope you will. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![gommsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bcef8e/32.png) [@gommsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gommsn)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/252 "2006-01-15T17:37:19Z")
> [@brightpenny](#): > > Clear your browser cache. That happened to me a couple times and that’s all it took to fix it. > > Here, I’ll putz ya’ for ya’: :wally > > 😉 > > Thanks all Tried that. Didn’t work. Enough with the hijack. I’ll start a new thread in ATMB. Some of our techies will figure it out. Welcome back. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/253 "2006-01-15T17:48:20Z")
This incident has emphasized for me something I consider a real problem here. Is the SDMB the private little wankfest playroom of its loud-mouthiest bullies, or is it the public face of an established alternative newspaper’s widely read informational column? The General Questions forum is, I would think, the first foray many visiting guests make into this forum. Of course you read “Cecil’s” columns for the entertainment value, but even moreso, I would think, for the informational content they include. I know what inspired ME to register originally was that I had a specific question I was seeking an answer to. Do we really want such first-time participants, who come here seeking information, to be subject to the lowest common denominator of the snarkiest jerks in the joing? Do we really want Excalibre to be the face that greets newcomers? It seems to me that we should have higher standards of politeness and maturity in GQ. It seems to me that if you have nothing to contribute to a GC thread but witticisms and insults, then, well, you have nothing to contribute. Trot out as many excuses about newcomers having to accept this community for what it is as you want; I for one don’t buy it. This rush to be the first responder to try to embarrass the questioner does not, I think, reflect well on us. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/254 "2006-01-15T17:50:15Z")
“joing”? :smack: _joint_ ---
**Author:** ![xbuckeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9e8a1a/32.png) [@xbuckeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xbuckeye)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/255 "2006-01-15T18:09:37Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Do we really want such first-time participants, who come here seeking information, to be subject to the lowest common denominator of the snarkiest jerks in the joint? (edited quote) Well, I really don’t think that anything in the original thread was unique to that thread of because of the “newness” of the OP. I only looked at her join date once she started freaking out about the responses she was getting. I think that everyone at one time or another has started a thread they wish would just go away. I know I have, I took my lumps, didn’t freak out, and it has passed from the collective meory of the board (I think). It didn’t generate spin off threads, nobody pitted me for it. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/256 "2006-01-15T18:15:57Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Do we really want Excalibre to be the face that greets newcomers? Which of **Excalibre** ’s posts in the original GQ do you find objectionable? Actually I agree with a lot of what you said. I don’t mind some snark and humor in GQ _so long as it actually goes towards answering the fucking question._ If the post is just a cheap shot at the OP or a lame joke, it belongs somewhere else. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/257 "2006-01-15T20:07:26Z")
**gommsn** > [@](#): > > And props to Wolf-meister and Starving Artist. Way to step up to the plate guys.Good on ya! Shucks thanks. 🙂 And as I said in a previous posting **jrfranchi, John Carter of Mars** and many others deserve props too. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/258 "2006-01-15T20:28:56Z")
> [@xbuckeye](#): > > (edited quote) > > Well, I really don’t think that anything in the original thread was unique to that thread of because of the “newness” of the OP. I only looked at her join date once she started freaking out about the responses she was getting. Um, I’m not suggesting special treatment of newbies. I’m suggesting higher standards of grownup behavior for General Questions. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/259 "2006-01-15T20:32:42Z")
> [@wolf\_meister](#): > > **gommsn** > > Shucks thanks. 🙂 > And as I said in a previous posting **jrfranchi, John Carter of Mars** and many others deserve props too. Seconded. (And thanks to **gommsn** for the compliment and to **rkts** for the info on my wayward smiley.) ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/260 "2006-01-15T20:37:01Z")
> [@brightpenny](#): > > Until you’ve been a woman you may not be aware of the psychological, sociological, political, and sexual threats\*\* implicit\*\* in “ganging up” behavior upon a woman in real life. It’s not unusual for people to use the only metaphor in our experience or in our fears to describe ganging up behavior. Men might refer to _gang-beating_, women to _gang-rape_. (YMMV) I clarified earlier, that my intention was to describe the dominance behavior of circling, taunting, weakening that builds in groups. It’s just a fucking message board. Grow the fuck up. If you can’t stand the heat, get out of kitchen. > [@](#): > > I tried early on to speak on my own behalf but was drowned out with insults. Fully 24 hours passed before more than a couple of brave souls spoke out on my behalf against the behaviors that they didn’t like. Eventually others supported some of what I would have said had I had a chance to regroup from the surprises. It is because of them that I’m even considering returning to The Dope. You are perfectly free to insult us back, if you had a valid argument to begin with. Perhaps you don’t like having your own world view questioned in such a way. We aren’t doing this to be mean. Not most of us anyway. Most of us are here because we love to argue. In real life, I’ll often get into spirited arguments with my friends. Sometimes we call each other names. But it’s just a spirited argument. We don’t take it personally. I’ve also noticed that some women can’t handle the same style of argumentation. Who knows, maybe it’s a difference in socialization. I don’t want to generalize here, but I think you have vastly misconstrued our intentions here. > [@](#): > > I guess I’m banished to the “children’s table” where I can talk about mundane pointless things and boners, and at first that angered me, until I learned this week that the other forums might just be the “grownups table” afterall. Thanks for the learning experience. > > _fingers in ears_ la-la-la-la MPSIMS and IMHO. Great, if you don’t want any aspect of your worldview challeneged in any way whatsoever and run away from the big old meanies who make fun of you. As for me, I’ll stand in the Pit and GD for the most part and take my blows. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670.md?page=14)