# brightpenny, you're a loathesome bitch **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 12, 2006, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670 "2006-01-12T15:52:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/101 "2006-01-13T02:48:01Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > Yeah, that’s pretty much the extent of my feeling about this. I just laughed to myself when I saw the original thread; it’s the gang-rape comparison that pissed me off. Fair enough; as one of those who didn’t get insinuatingly referred to as a rapist, it’s easier for me to stay calm about it. > [@](#): > > There was nothing motivating her comparison beyond some mild ribbing. This is the sort of thing I expect to get from my friends in real life as well as here on the boards. I get the impression that it’s not the sort of thing she expects from her friends in real life, which may be why she reacted so strongly to it: from her perspective, what seemed like mild ribbing to you may have seemed like unpardonable rudeness to her. Different social circles and all; and it’s no more good telling her to get a thicker skin than it is good telling you to get some manners. Different social circles. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/102 "2006-01-13T02:57:41Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > I get the impression that it’s not the sort of thing she expects from her friends in real life, which may be why she reacted so strongly to it: from her perspective, what seemed like mild ribbing to you may have seemed like unpardonable rudeness to her. Different social circles and all; and it’s no more good telling her to get a thicker skin than it is good telling you to get some manners. Different social circles. > > Daniel Probably true, but would you agree that the “social circle” that makes up the SDMB is more like **Excalibre** ’s real-life social circle than **brightpenny** ’s? If so, telling her that she needs a thicker skin to fit in here is just good advice. ---
**Author:** ![RyJae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9d8465/32.png) [@RyJae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RyJae)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/103 "2006-01-13T03:01:27Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Probably true, but would you agree that the “social circle” that makes up the SDMB is more like **Excalibre** ’s real-life social circle than **brightpenny** ’s? If so, telling her that she needs a thicker skin to fit in here is just good advice. Thicker skin? Come on now lets get serious, everyone in here bitching about brightpenny needing a thicker skin, are the same people letting a (stupid and said without thinking and apologized for) analogy make them cry. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/104 "2006-01-13T03:04:56Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Probably true, but would you agree that the “social circle” that makes up the SDMB is more like **Excalibre** ’s real-life social circle than **brightpenny** ’s? If so, telling her that she needs a thicker skin to fit in here is just good advice. Hmm…maybe. In the Pit, sure, and in Great Debates, probably; but in MPSMISPMS? I’m not so sure. They seem a lot more genteel over there. At this point, I’m not reading the original thread out of sheer pigheadedness, a major feature of my social circle and the pit. 🙂 Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/105 "2006-01-13T03:07:53Z")
> [@Abbie Normal](#): > > Thicker skin? Come on now lets get serious, everyone in here bitching about brightpenny needing a thicker skin, are the same people letting a (stupid and said without thinking and apologized for) analogy make them cry. No one here is arguing that nobody should ever get offended by anything, ever. What is considered offensive is largely defined by context. In the context of the SDMB, careless rape analogies are considered offensive. So are fat jokes, or using “gay” as a synonym for “lame.” At the same time, the responses **brightpenny** garnered in that thread are _not_ considered offensive. They’re par for the course in posting to the SDMB. We can dissect the reasons why until we’ve all got bloody finger types from the typing, but at the end of the day, it’s easier to adjust your own behavior to fit the context than to change the context to fit your own behavior. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/106 "2006-01-13T03:18:59Z")
Usually I feel good about being a member of the SDMB. On occasion, something like this pile-on happens and I’m ashamed to be associated. Good post, **Starving Artist**! ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/107 "2006-01-13T03:24:27Z")
I recognize that \*\*brightpenny \*\* overreacted to some ribbing in the first thread, but was the pile on really needed? 😕 I’m with you **John Carter of Mars**. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/108 "2006-01-13T03:40:06Z")
> [@John Carter of Mars](#): > > Usually I feel good about being a member of the SDMB. On occasion, something like this pile-on happens and I’m ashamed to be associated. > > Good post, **Starving Artist**! Honestly, John. I’m not sure how it can even be remotely argued that this is a pile-on. In the original thread, she asked a question. In grand SDMB tradition, her question was neatly answered in a few posts. There were no direct cites, but who knows if direct cites for this topic are even available. UncleBeer came closest with fairly good cites for the relative cleanliness of your hands before and after defecation, etc. People then answered her follow-up question (Is no one else concerned about this?) with a resounding “no.” Some other people were mildly (very, very mildly) snarky. By the end of the thread, she had freaked completely out over nothing. The second thread consisted essentially of her bitching that she felt she had been gang-raped. Now, this is easliy recognizable as hyperbole to anyone with a shred of sense, but there are those here with no sense at all, and thus we have this ridiculous gang-rape hijack. Aside from that, however, she has just fueled the fire by acting like such a damn babe-in-the-woods. She needs to be able to withstand a little gentle fun-poking around here, cause it ain’t going away. It’d be much less of a cool place if it _did_ go away. This place has a certain amount of rough-and-tumble does-not-suffer-fools mentality about it, and by God, that’s what sets it apart from every other l33t-speaking dumbass message board out there. The only truly objectionable thing I see about the whole affair is Excalibre’s frankly moronic title. Loathesome? Completely inaccurate. It makes me wonder, in fact, if Ex even knows what the fuck the word means. Miller’s “dopey” is a much better fit. Now, brightpenny may be a perfectly good human being and a potentially valuable poster, but if she can’t take a little very gentle ribbing, she’s either in the wrong place, or she needs to toughen the hell up. ---
**Author:** ![Leviosaurus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Leviosaurus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leviosaurus)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/109 "2006-01-13T03:47:09Z")
This is quite clearly a pile on, and it’s way out of proportion to anything **brightpenny** did. She’s apologized, time to leave it alone people. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/110 "2006-01-13T03:51:22Z")
> [@Leviosaurus](#): > > This is quite clearly a pile on, and it’s way out of proportion to anything **brightpenny** did. She’s apologized, time to leave it alone people. I agree it’s probably time to let it die, but I for one found her incessant need to be a victim in this whole affair to be extremely exasperating. Thus, I have no basic objection to the existence of a Pit thread over it. People have been Pitted for much less. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/111 "2006-01-13T03:59:04Z")
> [@](#): > > The second thread consisted essentially of her bitching that she felt she had been gang-raped. Now, this is easliy recognizable as hyperbole to anyone with a shred of sense, but there are those here with no sense at all, and thus we have this ridiculous gang-rape hijack. Wait. Ihave to retract something, and then I’m done. It’s not a hijack. Excalibre is absolutely right. brightpenny’s breathless comparison of someone gently ribbing her over her histrionics to a “circle of men who begin by tossing out comments, increasingly bold as they feed off each other, embolden each other with their own power displays…” is well, idiotic. Not loathesome, really, but deeply hysterical. She evidently has no perspective. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/112 "2006-01-13T04:04:58Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > I agree it’s probably time to let it die, but I for one found her incessant need to be a victim in this whole affair to be extremely exasperating. Thus, I have no basic objection to the existence of a Pit thread over it. People have been Pitted for much less. You agree that it’s time to let it die, yet you continue it. Does that make sense? And I agree with the other posters that say this one has been driven into the ground. Good manners, it seems, are out of style. Too bad. _The above is offered as a private poster, not as a Mod._ ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/113 "2006-01-13T04:16:52Z")
> [@samclem](#): > > You agree that it’s time to let it die, yet you continue it. Does that make sense? > > And I agree with the other posters that say this one has been driven into the ground. > > Good manners, it seems, are out of style. Too bad. > > _The above is offered as a private poster, not as a Mod._ OK, since you asked: yes. Look, when you post something on the message board, you explicitly invite all 57,000 members, plus guests, to comment on it as long as they stay within the rules and general culture of the message board. If you get 57,000 responses saying you’re being hysterical, then you’re probably being hysterical, and you should think about perhaps modifying your behavior. Now, I’m not a member of any SDMB clique, society, group, or association. I am utterly independent. I have no regular connection (besides Sampiro, but we’ve been friends since long before either of us were members here) with any active board member through email, personal contact, IRC, snark boards, spin-off boards, or anything else. I have no agenda, much less any animus against brightpenny, but in my not-so-very-humble-at-all opinion, she was being a mewling, histrionic pseudo-victim, and her Pitting was entirely deserved. As for your implicit assumption about my manners, fuck off. If this were face-to face, I’d tell her (and you) gently that she was being hypersensitive and should take a deep breath, and buy you both a beer. There’s nothing at all ill-mannered about offering your opinion of someone’s already-bizarre behavior. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/114 "2006-01-13T04:19:20Z")
**Ogre** , I totally agree with most of your points, but this post of mine will be the 111th? in this thread. I’m guessing that 90 of those 111 posts are people kickin’ shit on **brightpenny**. I call that a pile on. All things considered, back to the original GQ thread, I find this incident shameful. ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/115 "2006-01-13T04:23:21Z")
If, god forbid, I ever get raped, I’m going to make a hobby of complaining about people’s inappropriate rape analogies. Well, that and, you know, going to therapy and stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/116 "2006-01-13T04:24:09Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Wait. Ihave to retract something, and then I’m done. It’s not a hijack. Excalibre is absolutely right. brightpenny’s breathless comparison of someone gently ribbing her over her histrionics to a “circle of men who begin by tossing out comments, increasingly bold as they feed off each other, embolden each other with their own power displays…” is well, idiotic. Not loathesome, really, but deeply hysterical. She evidently has no perspective. My choice of words may not have been the best, but I really do think that rape is a very serious matter, and when she was called on it in the ATMB thread, she tossed off the part you quoted rather than, say, admitting to a heat-of-the-moment exaggeration. Maybe I take that too seriously - my mother worked at a shelter for victims of domestic violence when I was a kid, and I guess I take references to violence against women pretty seriously. I’ve known more than one woman who was sexually assaulted; it’s upsetting to me to see rape trivialized this way. ---
**Author:** ![Leviosaurus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Leviosaurus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leviosaurus)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/117 "2006-01-13T04:26:54Z")
> [@samclem](#): > > Good manners, it seems, are out of style. Too bad. Well said. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/118 "2006-01-13T04:34:45Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > \my mother worked at a shelter for victims of domestic violence when I was a kid, and I guess I take references to violence against women pretty seriously. Apparently that didn’t stop you from sending an email that, depending on the “eye of the beholder”, could have been considered harassment or threatening. > [@Ogre](#): > > Now, I’m not a member of any SDMB clique, society, group, or association. I am utterly independent. It’s thus that you seek to renounce your membership in _The Illuminati_? Not so fast… ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/119 "2006-01-13T04:38:26Z")
> [@John Carter of Mars](#): > > Apparently that didn’t stop you from sending an email that, depending on the “eye of the beholder”, could have been considered harassment or threatening. The beholder would have to be squinting that eye to see it as harassment, and would have to be frankly unreasonable to see it as threatening. There was absolutely no threat in it. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/120 "2006-01-13T04:40:35Z")
How the Hell did I miss this thread for so long? I’ll join the crowd with **Starving Artist, jrfranchi, John Carter of Mars** (and many others) and say yes this is a pile on ! :mad: **Excalibre** and **Left Hand of Dorkness** certainly liked to “pile on” a certain wolf\_meister in this thread: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=348356&page=4&pp=50](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=348356&page=4&pp=50) Have I discovered a pattern here? Does this mean that Monty will be joining the insult-fest too? This thread has gone on to a third page now and no one has mentioned the _title_ of the thread: **brightpenny, you’re a loathesome bitch** I realize this is the Pit, but do you think that’s a good way to promote any meaningful discussion? So I guess you wanted this to be a slugfest from the start. People have been accusing **brightpenny** for alluding to “gang rape” in a rather cavalier fashion. Oh, but _start_ a Pit Thread by calling someone a “loathesome bitch” is totally acceptable. :rolleyes: Oh I can be sure that **Excalibre** and **Left Hand of Dorkness** will be in here to tell me I _should_ have read every post in this thread \*and \*the thread which led to this pitting. OR maybe I’ll be subject to a grammar correction in which I failed to use the pluperfect verb tense in a posting from 17 months ago. 😃 Not to be petty or small-minded but **Excalibre** - it is spelled **loathsome** Cite ? > **[Definition of loathsome | Dictionary.com](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/loathsome)** > > Definition of loathsome from Dictionary.com, the world’s leading online source for English definitions, pronunciations, word origins, idioms, Word of the Day, and more. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670.md?page=7)