# brightpenny, you're a loathesome bitch **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 12, 2006, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670 "2006-01-12T15:52:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/161 "2006-01-13T15:37:32Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > ir·rel·e·vant > > adj. > Unrelated to the matter being considered. > > ir·rele·vant·ly adv. > Synonyms: irrelevant, extraneous, immaterial, impertinent > These adjectives mean not pertinent to the subject under consideration: an irrelevant comment; a question extraneous to the discussion; an objection that is immaterial; mentioned several impertinent facts. > Antonyms: relevant How are the definitions irrelevant to the discussion? She used the word correctly, even if it isn’t the definition most people attach to it. I think she got a raw deal. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/162 "2006-01-13T15:42:10Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > How are the definitions irrelevant to the discussion? She used the word correctly, even if it isn’t the definition most people attach to it. I think she got a raw deal. No: the word she used was “gang rape,” and that word’s definition refers to literal rape. She used it as a simile; nobody denies that she used it as a simile. I just object to its use as a simile, as I think it trivializes rape. If it makes you feel better to suggest that I’m sobbing to mommy about the issue or lack testicles or something, I give you advance permission to say so :). Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/163 "2006-01-13T15:42:11Z")
The term she used was not _rape_, but _gang rape_; it does not work metaphorically in the same way; do we ever hear about the the _gang rape_ of justice? ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/164 "2006-01-13T15:50:43Z")
**Left Hand Of Dorkness** > [@](#): > > 'Sokay, man. If you ever need help tying your own shoes, I’m here for you. You really seem to lack reading comprehension. Ouch !!! I’ve been cut to the quick by the Left Hand Of Dorkness aka the Scimitar of Sarcasm. ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/165 "2006-01-13T15:50:57Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Do we ever hear about the _gang rape_ of justice? Isn’t that the legal analysis show on Fox News? ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/166 "2006-01-13T15:59:58Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > No: the word she used was “gang rape,” and that word’s definition refers to literal rape. She used it as a simile; nobody denies that she used it as a simile. I just object to its use as a simile, as I think it trivializes rape. > > If it makes you feel better to suggest that I’m sobbing to mommy about the issue or lack testicles or something, I give you advance permission to say so :). > > Daniel I understood her intent. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/167 "2006-01-13T16:21:22Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > I understood her intent. As did I. That’s not what’s at issue. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/168 "2006-01-13T16:25:50Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > Yeah. Pretty weak pit here. She hadn’t been obnoxious to anyone on or off the board. She hadn’t spewed some really obnoxious opinions. The only thing she seems to be guilty of is being a bit thin skinned, and a choice of words by some found to be a little over the top. And for this she gets called a loathsome bitch. She said she already felt very bad about it, and then you insisted to give her one round more, when you could just have let it pass, even going to the trouble to mail her an insult to her personal email account. In your haste to join the pile-on against me, you have distorted the situation greatly. **brightpenny** did _not_ apologize for her comment when called upon it originally (why would I have done this if she’d already apologized?) Unless you consider this an apology: > [@brightpenny](#): > > Have either of you experienced gang rape? Been alone in the center of a circle of men who begin by tossing out comments, increasingly bold as they feed off each other, embolden each other with their own power displays? No one is around to stop it before it becomes something uglier. Yah, it reminded me of that. Assholes. The thread was closed after that. Those who are so quick to assign me motives should at least come up with ones that fit the situation. She got in her shot at me - _reiterating_ rather than apologizing for the comment in question. _Then_ I opened this pit thread. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/169 "2006-01-13T16:43:35Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > As did I. That’s not what’s at issue. > > Daniel Because I understood her _intent_, I knew she was not trivializing rape. I don’t feel she owes anyone an apology for something she did not intend to use as a weapon…particularly when most people understood that she didn’t mean it that way. Could she have used a better word? Probably. But that doesn’t justify the pile-on. The viciousness with which she was attacked was not proportionate to her crime. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/170 "2006-01-13T16:55:28Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > Because I understood her _intent_, I knew she was not trivializing rape. I disagree. She may not have intended to trivialize rape, but I believe that she did. I hope she will not do so in the future. As I’ve said, I’m not endorsing viciousness toward her. I just think that this is a bad simile to use under such circumstances. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/171 "2006-01-13T17:00:45Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > Because I understood her _intent_, I knew she was not trivializing rape. I don’t feel she owes anyone an apology for something she did not intend to use as a weapon…particularly when most people understood that she didn’t mean it that way. Could she have used a better word? Probably. But that doesn’t justify the pile-on. The viciousness with which she was attacked was not proportionate to her crime. In agreement with you but expanding it from my experience. There seems to be many Vocal people on this board who are very sensitive to the use of Rape for anything less than its actual meaning. I think it was unfair to slam **BrightPenny** for her casual use in the form of a simile. Many people seem to use the word Rape more casually than those who are upset by it. It is probably better to educate people to the insensitive nature of these remarks in a polite explanation than in an angry rant. The “[Raped at the Pump](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=331918&highlight=Raped+pump)” Thread that **Malacandra** mentioned had some that overreacted and slammed everyone and others politely explain why the casual misuse of the word is offensive. Guess which posters I listened to in the thread? Jim ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/172 "2006-01-13T17:06:52Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > No: the word she used was “gang rape,” and that word’s definition refers to literal rape. She used it as a simile; nobody denies that she used it as a simile. I just object to its use as a simile, as I think it trivializes rape. With all due respect, **brightpenny** has indicated she was once the victim of a gang rape situation. I’m assuming you, being male, have not had a similar experience. My tendancy is to defer to people who have experienced both situations when they use similes. They have much more complete understandings of what was involved in the items being compared. And if my experience with rape survivors is any guide, none of them are interested in “trivializing” it. So, to recap. **brightpenny** gets leeway to use the term in any situation she feels warrants it. She would know better than I what situations evoke the same feelings, in her, as the rape did. If other rape survivors would not choose the same usage or feel the same way, that’s fine, they don’t have to. But it isn’t my, or anyone’s(IMHO), place to tell a rape survivor she/he can’t or shouldn’t be able to draw parallels between that situation and other situations if they feel it is warranted. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/173 "2006-01-13T17:10:18Z")
> [@jrfranchi](#): > > In agreement with you but expanding it from my experience. > > There seems to be many Vocal people on this board who are very sensitive to the use of Rape for anything less than its actual meaning. I think it was unfair to slam **BrightPenny** for her casual use in the form of a simile. > Many people seem to use the word Rape more casually than those who are upset by it. It is probably better to educate people to the insensitive nature of these remarks in a polite explanation than in an angry rant. > The “[Raped at the Pump](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=331918&highlight=Raped+pump)” Thread that **Malacandra** mentioned had some that overreacted and slammed everyone and others politely explain why the casual misuse of the word is offensive. Guess which posters I listened to in the thread? > > Jim Well, I’d hardly call it “misuse” when the definition is broader than what some people on these boards would like to admit. I think those who are up in arms about it need to take a deep breath and look at the whole picture rather than just one portion of her statement. From where I stand, it’s not her _in_sensitivity…it’s their _over_sensitivity. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/174 "2006-01-13T17:12:27Z")
And several people who have been raped-including GANG raped, came in to say they did indeed find her analogy offensive. ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/175 "2006-01-13T17:19:48Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > And several people who have been raped-including GANG raped, came in to say they did indeed find her analogy offensive. And it’s not about whose trauma gives them the right to make what analogy anyway. Either she was belittling actual gang rape, or she has experienced it and genuinely felt the thread in GQ was similar to it. The first case is reprehensible, the second troubling, and I think, again, that it’s the second which applies here. > [@Mtgman](#): > > So, to recap. brightpenny gets leeway to use the term in any situation she feels warrants it. She would know better than I what situations evoke the same feelings, in her, as the rape did. If other rape survivors would not choose the same usage or feel the same way, that’s fine, they don’t have to. But it isn’t my, or anyone’s(IMHO), place to tell a rape survivor she/he can’t or shouldn’t be able to draw parallels between that situation and other situations if they feel it is warranted. The problem is that if she truly felt that way, she needs help. It is not healthy or proportional to feel that way about a thread on a message board. I also think people should probably stop poking her with a stick, because she’s not well. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/176 "2006-01-13T17:22:29Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > Well, I’d hardly call it “misuse” when the definition is broader than what some people on these boards would like to admit. I think those who are up in arms about it need to take a deep breath and look at the whole picture rather than just one portion of her statement. From where I stand, it’s not her _in_sensitivity…it’s their _over_sensitivity. I agree with you, but as long as I know people are sensitive to the use of the word, I refrain from using it for anything but its most literal meaning. As I have learned of the “_over_sensitivity” here at the SDMB, I really do feel it is unfair to Slam \*\*BrightPenny \*\* for her usage when her meaning was obvious and the fact she was new to the boards. (I’m repeating myself here, aren’t I, Sorry) Jim ---
**Author:** ![wonderlust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonderlust/32/7237_2.png) [@wonderlust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonderlust)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/177 "2006-01-13T17:24:24Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > And several people who have been raped-including GANG raped, came in to say they did indeed find her analogy offensive. I apologized publicly in the thread and I sent private emails to those people, also apologizing. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/178 "2006-01-13T17:24:56Z")
> [@cthiax](#): > > …snip… > The problem is that if she truly felt that way, she needs help. It is not healthy or proportional to feel that way about a thread on a message board. I also think people should probably stop poking her with a stick, because she’s not well. Now not to be polite: Diagnosing someones Mental health based on a few posts is just plain Dumb. Are you a train professional? If you are then I know you know better. Why do posters do this? Jim ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/179 "2006-01-13T17:26:31Z")
> [@brightpenny](#): > > I apologized publicly in the thread and I sent private emails to those people, also apologizing. I like your new Location, I hope you see that many of us don’t wish to beat a dead horse. Good luck in future postings. Jim ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2006, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670/180 "2006-01-13T17:29:17Z")
> [@jrfranchi](#): > > Are you a train professional? Rumour has it that he’s been workin’ on the railroad, all the live long day, and indeed just to pass the time away. So I guess, yes. Yours, The Fat Controller [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brightpenny-youre-a-loathesome-bitch/339670.md?page=10)