# Bring out the goat, we've got a new member! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 5, 2007, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664 "2007-07-05T22:49:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664/1 "2007-07-05T22:49:38Z")
Everyone please give a warm SDMB welcome to my husband, **Dannyness**! Hooray! I’ve lured him in to this crazy den of psychos, let’s see if you people scare him away, or if he gets addicted enough to pay his membership. 😛 He’s already off to a great start: [Mini rants post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8748570&postcount=324) [Why Science doesn’t take faith post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8748341&postcount=250) In order to acquaint him with this board and the neat people here, I thought it would be fun if people could post their favorite threads from years past, or random little rules and tidbits that he should know. My contributions: Rule–When mentioning a cat or kitten, even in passing, pictures are required. ([Dot](http://home.mchsi.com/~boxie/destructoDot.jpg), [Max](http://home.mchsi.com/~boxie/max_nap.jpg), [Pixel](http://home.mchsi.com/~boxie/Pixel.jpg)) Thread–\*\*[Halvsie, the two-legged dog](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=51807&) \*\* ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664/2 "2007-07-05T23:00:44Z")
Welcome, **Dannyness** , we shall try to amuse, entertain, and educate you all at the same time. I would advise you to avoid Great Debates unless you have a hard copy of the Encyclopedia Brittanica, a King James Version of the bible, and a witness to your last bowel movement. To let you know me, here are my favorite threads that I started: [Good Morning America How are ya!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=369454) [Describe the next Doper to respond](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=393165) [Ask the uber-hetro male](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=405817) Again, welcome to the Boards. Sgt Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664/3 "2007-07-05T23:11:51Z")
People aren’t actually members until they pay, are they? Not to be mean or anything, but I’ll welcome people when they pony up. Although that isn’t very hospitable, is it? You might want to watch out for the cranky old hands, **Dannyness**. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664/4 "2007-07-05T23:24:33Z")
Hey, **lou** , we can welcome him as **Little Bird** ’s mate can’t we? **Dannyness** , Welcome, don’t mind **lou** , just stay off the lawn. ---
**Author:** ![dannyness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b77776/32.png) [@dannyness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dannyness)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664/5 "2007-07-05T23:38:11Z")
My wife is such an enabler. This is her first step in getting me hooked and…well…it’s working. I’m lucky I’m not a heroin addict or she would probably spike my vein for me. Luckily I’m not that kind of doper. I finally gave in. Our computers are in the same room so every once in a while I’ll hear her giggling at somebody’s brilliance or stupidity and I’ll finally ask what the hell is so funny. Time to find out for myself. So here I am! Thanks for the warm welcomes. **featherlou** has a point, though. Until I shed my guest status I cannot truly call myself a doper. I know I’ve got to pay my dues both literally and figuratively. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664/6 "2007-07-05T23:49:08Z")
Welcome, **dannyness**! Although I’ve been here since the dawn of time (but not since AOL, as I’m sure someone will point out), by a strange coincidence my favorite thread just happens to have been posted earlier today. It’s here: [Do you have recurring fantasies of escorting a historical figure around modern times?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=427596) ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664/7 "2007-07-06T00:04:26Z")
Welcome **dannyness**. I hope you like calamari. A favorite thread of mine: **Velma** ’s [There is evil in my backyard. It’s in a cooler.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=177712&) I read it back when I was lurking (yeah, I’ve been lurking a looong time). One of mine that I started, which I am pleased to say made Threadspotting: [My Sacrilegious Husband](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=351232). I keep meaning to elaborate on the Nativity…I should start making plans now. ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664/8 "2007-07-06T00:09:30Z")
[QUOTE=Little Bird] Bring out the goat. [/QUOTE] \The goat’s sleepin’.\ ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664/9 "2007-07-06T00:18:23Z")
What, exactly, is he supposed to do with the goat? ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664/10 "2007-07-06T00:31:39Z")
[QUOTE=Rigamarole] What, exactly, is he supposed to do with the goat? [/QUOTE] The question is not what he does with the goat. It is what the goat does with him. A much whispered about but never spoken of directly experience, the goat and the calamari dance the initiation of all good Dopers. shhhh! I think I see them now! Alert **Sunspace**! ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664/11 "2007-07-06T01:02:07Z")
Our regular goat is on vacation. The three-legged pygmy goat will have to fill in. She’s not in a very good mood this week, but she’s not nearly as cranky as the squid. We’re running a little low on maple syrup for the ceremony, but **Frank** should have the trampoline fixed by Friday morning. **Little Bird** did warn you about the part with the speaker wire and the distributor cap, right? ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664/12 "2007-07-06T01:08:26Z")
[An old standby](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=283407&highlight=marianas) Bragging a bit here - my personal bestest, most responded to, longest lasting thread: [Build-a-Limerick](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=349382) ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664/13 "2007-07-06T01:44:22Z")
Welcome, **Dannyness**! You’ll find us a congenial bunch of [del]maniacs[/del] differently-viewpointed persons. This place is not addictive. I can stop any time I want. Honest. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664/14 "2007-07-06T02:46:53Z")
Dang, I’ve got to get caught up on the memos for initiation procedures. Berries & whipped cream replaced with maple syrup… The band got dropped, and now we use a trampoline… I think a nun stole the distributor cap, though. She must’ve had a bad habit. Anyway, welcome **dannyness**! ---
**Author:** ![Guy\_Betty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Guy\_Betty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Betty)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664/15 "2007-07-06T02:51:35Z")
[punchline] … a good goat’ll do that. [/punchline] ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664/16 "2007-07-06T03:49:28Z")
Dance. Yeah. That’s what the goat and calamari do. “Dance”. :: shudder :: How do I know this? I’ve …been though a lot. I’ve burned most of it from my memory, but every now and then, I [have](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=309165) [nightmares](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=310597). ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664/17 "2007-07-06T05:31:42Z")
Oh shush, **Sunspace**. You’re still applying aloe to those sucker marks. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664/18 "2007-07-06T06:48:50Z")
I’ve got my soup! Are we ready for the tentacle porn viewing marathon? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664/19 "2007-07-06T12:19:52Z")
Welcome. My only bookmarked thread: [World Trade Center Plane Crash](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=86458) ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664/20 "2007-07-06T12:43:44Z")
Welcome to the fray, **Dannyness**. You already have the markings of a good Doper, so I expect to see more good things in the future. You’ve already bitten the lure, and as you are coming to find out, resistance is futile. You will be assimilated and subjected to mixed metaphors. And goats and squid. And The Great and Powerful Lonk, if ever he turns up from his last binge session. In the mean time, enjoy your stay. Try the veal. And uh … don’t go into room 113, because … just don’t. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bring-out-the-goat-weve-got-a-new-member/410664.md?page=2)