# Brit-speak translation, please? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [March 10, 2021, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652 "2021-03-10T22:35:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![md-2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9d8465/32.png) [@md-2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md-2000)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2021, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652/21 "2021-03-11T20:36:23Z")
Apropos a language question: _I said, “Do you speak-a my language?”_ ♫ _He just smiled and ♪ gave me a Vegemite sandwich_ ---
**Author:** ![Fiendish\_Astronaut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiendish_astronaut/32/3295_2.png) [@Fiendish\_Astronaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiendish_Astronaut)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2021, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652/22 "2021-03-11T22:04:06Z")
I doubt if the 5% is related to GMB. It’s a very tiny part of the business and they released their trading report to the stock market that same morning. Anyway, back to the OP: marmite, urgh. I knew someone who would spread it “as thickly as possible” on their toast. You have to wonder about people. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2021, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652/23 "2021-03-12T14:01:27Z")
“It’s one of those things — you either love it, or you hate it, or you think it’s…okay.” — Mitch Hedberg ---
**Author:** ![Precambrianmollusc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/precambrianmollusc/32/63_2.png) [@Precambrianmollusc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Precambrianmollusc)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2021, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652/24 "2021-03-12T14:48:24Z")
Marmite on a heavily buttered and toasted English muffin is the breakfast of the gods. Some prefer it on a toasted crumpet where the marmite and melted butter melange forms into little wells of joy in the crumpet holes, I prefer the more even soak on the muffin. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2021, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652/25 "2021-03-12T15:05:33Z")
> [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > The trick with both, as I’m sure you know, is to spread it thinly on butter. It’s also nice with cheese. It’s also nice in a cucumber sandwich. I tend to like it spread a bit more thickly than I think most do, though, so the cukes are a nice little off-set to the saltiness. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2021, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652/26 "2021-03-12T15:11:21Z")
Heh. That was my reaction to marmite. I wouldn’t order it but I wouldn’t scrape it off if just a little was on my bread. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2021, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652/27 "2021-03-12T16:10:14Z")
Good shout. I’m fond of it on liberally buttered sourdough toast, with slices of fresh tomato. Light sprinkling of seasalt on the tomatoes. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2021, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652/28 "2021-03-12T16:13:56Z")
Why has that thought never occurred to me? Next time we have some good tomatoes (it’ll be awhile), I’ll have to try. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2021, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652/29 "2021-03-12T16:18:51Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > Good shout. I’m fond of it on liberally buttered sourdough toast, with slices of fresh tomato. Light sprinkling of **seasalt** on the tomatoes. - Geez, I need new glasses. I read that as asphalt. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2021, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652/30 "2021-03-12T16:36:10Z")
Here’s an advert that captures the essence of Marmite: 😳 [Marmite advert - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJE84X7nCeg) ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2021, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652/31 "2021-03-12T17:01:48Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > > [@SanVito](#): > > > > Good shout. I’m fond of it on liberally buttered sourdough toast, with slices of fresh tomato. Light sprinkling of **seasalt** on the tomatoes. - > > Geez, I need new glasses. I read that as asphalt. If you’re going to do that to perfectly good sourdough, hell, asphalt isn’t going to make things any _worse_. 😉 j ---
**Author:** ![velcro](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velcro/32/7102_2.png) [@velcro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velcro)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2021, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652/32 "2021-03-12T17:05:32Z")
Marmite - It’s the sort of thing you like if you like that sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2021, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652/33 "2021-03-12T17:07:48Z")
While we’re here: Are Marmite and Vegemite supposed to be hard to spread? We had some Vegemite in our SE Louisiana home one time. I tried some on buttered toast but could not get the stuff to spread at all – it was much too firm, at least as much as ice-cold butter and probably more so. I still managed to put some small ‘chunks’ all over the toast – and I did end up enjoying the taste. So, what’s the trick to spreading Vegemite/Marmite thinly? Don’t buy Vegemite from a U.S. retailer? Maybe the stuff was old as dirt and got dried out? ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2021, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652/34 "2021-03-12T17:13:57Z")
Are you keeping it in the fridge? Vegemite is thicker than Marmite, but certainly not hard like cold butter. Marmite has a smooth, liquidy texture more like a thick honey, so isn’t hard to spread at all. In the UK, you can even buy it in a squeezy bottle if you want to. You don’t keep either in the fridge. ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2021, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652/35 "2021-03-12T17:20:33Z")
Nope, the Vegemite we had was never refrigerated from point of purchase to use in our home. I don’t know if it was ever frozen or refrigerated during transit to the U.S. Once we brought it home, I just stuck it in the pantry as I would a jar of peanut butter. The store from which we bought it treated Vegemite similarly – sitting on a display shelf next to other unrefrigerated jarred items. But yeah, when first opened, our Vegemite was decidedly stiff – it would have been possible to make a dartboard out of the stuff. I wonder what happened? I don’t recall whether or not our Vegemite was expired or anything like that. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2021, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652/36 "2021-03-12T17:21:37Z")
Cenovis is my favorite yeast spread, a product of Switzerland Marmite, the UK version is my second fave. Vegemite is next Marmite, the NZ version is last. but they’re all great. Bovril doesn’t count since it’s beef based. But the yeast version they had during the Mad Cow disease era was lovely too. Mighty Mite and Aussie Mite will do in a pinch. Never have been able to get my hands on genuine Vitam-R, so no opinion there. It’s on my bucket list, though. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2021, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652/37 "2021-03-12T17:22:57Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Bovril doesn’t count since it’s beef based. In my childhood memory, Bovril was something you mixed with hot water to make a beefy drink (sounds disgusting, thinking about it). We never spread it - maybe because we had Marmite for that. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2021, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652/38 "2021-03-12T17:25:10Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > In my childhood memory, Bovril was something you mixed with hot water to make a beefy drink (sounds disgusting, thinking about it). We never spread it - maybe because we had Marmite for that. I found it enjoyable either way, both as beef based and as yeast based drink or spread. I’m easy. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2021, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652/39 "2021-03-12T17:36:18Z")
> But yeah, when first opened, our Vegemite was decidedly stiff – it would have been possible to make a dartboard out of the stuff. A _little_ hot water would loosen it a bit. ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2021, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652/40 "2021-03-12T17:43:03Z")
I bet hot water would have just floated on top 🙂 Keep in mind that it was a new (to me) jar. I haven’t purchased Vegemite since, despite liking the taste. I figured the jar I got was typical and I found it a bit too fussy to deal with (not being able to spread it and all). I’ll give it a second chance sometime soon and see how it goes. Maybe I can dig little chunks out, add them to a small bowl, and then add some hot water and make a paste. Or maybe immerse the whole jar (lid on!) into hot water and see if I can soften it all up at once. (Never did try microwaving the jar. Hmmm) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brit-speak-translation-please/937652.md?page=3)