# British Weather
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [May 26, 2004, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230 "2004-05-26T20:01:29Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)
#### Post date: [May 26, 2004, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230/1 "2004-05-26T20:01:29Z")
Well, I’m sat here at work soaked to the bone looking like a drowned fucking rat and shaking like a shitting dog. I am freezing cold and I feel miserable. When I left the house for my leisurely walk to work the weather seemed to be fair (not perfect but warm), I get five minutes into my walk and the heavens open, I literally look like I have been standing under a power shower! Now we have had some pretty spectacular weather over the last month but it always seems to turn just when I am out in it. Today is a prime example - I mean it stopped fucking raining when I stepped through the bleedin’ door! Now the weather forecast has deigned to piss all over my upcoming weekend spent on my girlfriends canal barge and will almost certainly put a halt to my BBQ plans. When am I going to get to eat delicious, succulent jerked chicken? I seem to spend all my shifts at work looking out of the window at the people enjoying the sun and when my turn to go out to play comes up it pisses it down. I’m pretty sure it’s a family curse; you see my dad has a similar problem. He has recently retired and has decided to sail round the Med. In his travels over the past two years he went to Ibiza to find it was the rainiest it has been in thirty years and the first time since then that the river had actually flowed on the island, on top of that he left his boat moored in the Balearics (I forget exactly where) and his boat got hit by a tidal wave caused by an earthquake in Algiers which knackered his engines. The last straw was when he had to come home over the winter because the storms were so violent. All my childhood holidays seemed to pass sitting inside playing games and looking forlornly out of the window at the drizzle cascading down the panes. I really need to get a tan but I think I am destined to die pasty, and cold. That is all.
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### Author:  [@legion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legion)
#### Post date: [May 26, 2004, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230/2 "2004-05-26T20:06:23Z")
Maybe you’re a rain God and the clouds worship you. 🙂
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### Author:  [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)
#### Post date: [May 26, 2004, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230/3 "2004-05-26T20:16:24Z")
‘Behold, oh clouds of the firmament, your Master beseeches ye, bathe me in your tears of joy!’
Hey, I like that… To be honest I think my Nordic ancestors might have pissed off Thor back in the day and the Inglis clan has been forever cursed to walk the earth shrouded in a halo of fine drizzle that, although light, really does soak you right through.
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### Author:  [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230/4 "2004-05-27T01:50:49Z")
I just sent Fierra’s mum back to England after flying her to Kansas for a 10-day stay with us. Nearly the whole time here it was 80-90F and sunny, with crystal-blue skies. She went home to Devon rain and 55 F.
[Nelson]Ha ha![/Nelson]
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### Author:  [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2004, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230/5 "2004-05-27T06:23:22Z")
Ah, well. Soon be summer.
And what a day that’s gonna be!
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### Author:  [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2004, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230/6 "2004-05-27T07:27:42Z")
It’s amazing how many Brits suffer from this phenomenon. Take a coat and it will be sunny (and you’ll have to carry the damn thing round with you), but if you should have the hubris to venture out unprotected, then prepare to be rained on.
If it’s the result of a pissed off God, i think the entire island must have pissed him off long ago. Just look at every Bank Holiday for the last 3 million years. No matter how good the weather is before and after the Bank Holiday, on the weekend in question it invariably pisses down. Just like it’s forecast to do this weekend.
Remember the wandering bloke who made the nails that were used on Jesus. Whenever he stopped wandering it started raining (in the version I read). I think the population of the UK is descended from him. It would explain a lot
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### Author:  [@Sir\_Doris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Doris)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2004, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230/7 "2004-05-27T08:11:04Z")
Dunno what you’re all talking about. Apart from a brief shower last Friday, it’s been dry and for the most part sunny and warm. I’ve not needed a coat for a couple of weeks. 🆒
I did suffer from the rain god thing a month or so back, though. Bloody annoying, but not bad enough to invest in a pac-a-mac.
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### Author:  [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2004, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230/8 "2004-05-27T10:03:59Z")
Humph. All right for some. Yesterday, it came down stair-rods for (and at) _precisely_ the time it takes me to walk home from the bus station.
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### Author:  [@Cerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerri)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2004, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230/9 "2004-05-27T10:05:53Z")
> [@legion](#):
>
> Maybe you’re a rain God and the clouds worship you. 🙂
_laughs_ That was the first thing that came to mind as I was reading the OP!
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### Author:  [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2004, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230/10 "2004-05-27T10:12:09Z")
> [@WILLASS](#):
>
> Now the weather forecast has deigned to piss all over my upcoming weekend spent on my girlfriends canal barge and will almost certainly put a halt to my BBQ plans. When am I going to get to eat delicious, succulent jerked chicken?
If you let mere torrential rain postpone a barbecue then you are clearly not a true Englishman ;). We had one a couple of weeks ago in the middle of a thunderstorm and damn it if we weren’t out there with an umbrella, simmering our steaks over a steaming grill. Don’t give in! Cooking indoors is a sign of weakness - the weather will know, and will continue to torment you. You must show it who’s boss.
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### Author:  [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2004, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230/11 "2004-05-27T18:51:03Z")
Hey, I will still have the BBQ…I just wanted to _enjoy_ it!
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### Author:  [@legion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legion)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2004, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230/12 "2004-05-27T19:23:43Z")
Rain, pissing down, torrential, shower, stair rods, drizzle.
So many descriptions for precipitation already. I bet we Brits have more words for rain the the Eskimo have for snow!
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### Author:  [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2004, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230/13 "2004-05-27T22:23:33Z")
> [@Dead Badger](#):
>
> If you let mere torrential rain postpone a barbecue then you are clearly not a true Englishman ;).
Mad dogs and Englishmen…barbeque in torrential rain.
Doesn’t have the right ring.
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### Author:  [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2004, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230/14 "2004-05-27T22:45:48Z")
> [@Punoqllads](#):
>
> Doesn’t have the right ring.
Maybe not, but the dog tasted marvellous.
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### Author:  [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2004, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230/15 "2004-05-27T23:21:02Z")
There’s and expression about _New_ England…that if you don’t like the weather, wait a minute, it’ll change.
I lived in New England. I don’t know what they’re talking about. New England is the model of consistency compared to the Old one. The other day I walked out to the store and found myself thinking what a particularly beautiful day it was. Went in, bought onions, carrots, loaf of bread…came out, it was hailing.
I don’t think I’ve been here one day that has sucessfully resigned itself to one particular weather. Someone at the British Weather Service is really falling down on the job, I say 😃 .
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### Author:  [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)
#### Post date: [May 28, 2004, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230/16 "2004-05-28T13:19:04Z")
Hey, you think British weather sucks? Here in Ohio we had a tornado warning for my suburb yesterday. England may have rain, but that sure beats tornadoes popping up everywhere.
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### Author:  [@Small\_Clanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Clanger)
#### Post date: [May 28, 2004, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230/17 "2004-05-28T16:55:15Z")
> [@Dead Badger](#):
>
> . . . thunderstorm and damn it if we weren’t out there with an umbrella
Taunting the God of Thunder? [Badger]Go on strike us you bastard![/Badger]
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### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [May 31, 2004, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230/18 "2004-05-31T12:11:27Z")
> [@WILLASS](#):
>
> Well, I’m sat here at work soaked to the bone looking like a drowned fucking rat and shaking like a shitting dog. I am freezing cold and I feel miserable.
Awwwww…! :::Rilchiam tiptoes in with a big, soft fluffy towel::: There, there…We’ll have you dried off in no time! :::rubs WILLASS’s hair with towel, tucks it around his shoulders, and hands him a cup of hot tea::: Now get those shoes off, and here’s some fuzzy slippers! Now you’re all warm!
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### Author:  [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)
#### Post date: [May 31, 2004, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230/19 "2004-05-31T12:21:44Z")
Well, it’s bright and sunny in CelynLand. Or didn’t you want to know that?
🙂
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### Author:  [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)
#### Post date: [May 31, 2004, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/british-weather/247230/20 "2004-05-31T13:27:00Z")
> [@WILLASS](#):
>
> I really need to get a tan but I think I am destined to die pasty, and cold. That is all.
_Sitting in an English garden, waiting for the sun
If the sun don’t come you’ll get a tan from standing in an English rain_
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