# Britney or Christina? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 5, 2000, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214 "2000-12-05T23:55:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Uniball](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Uniball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uniball)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214/21 "2000-12-06T08:53:41Z")
Both. First, I watch. Then, I join the party. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214/22 "2000-12-06T10:33:57Z")
What question are you asking? Which one has better music? Haven’t a clue. Which one is smarter? I haven’t a clue, and I suspect, neither do they. Which one is more attractive? Probably Britney, but neither one has anything to worry about. (Well, other than being good looking, but not very bright or talented) Which one should die? Put 'em both on Survivor (I don’t bear either any animosity, I’m just keen on the Survivor concept) Nacho4Sara, I **loved** your post! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![hypergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/49beb7/32.png) [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214/23 "2000-12-06T13:29:27Z")
Christina if I must, but I would rather be gagged with a large shovel and then have my internal organs removed with a dull spoon. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214/24 "2000-12-06T13:44:32Z")
Is it too late to put in a vote for Kim Deal? Maybe even Courtney Love? ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214/25 "2000-12-06T14:30:11Z")
Actually, _I_ think the title of the thread was asking which would win a chess match. Britney knows a lot of good openings and takes control of the center early, but her endgames are always poorly executed (a common weakness in mid-level players.) Christina’s openings are weaker but she’s strong on defense and uses her knights well. I’d think Britney would probably win the first match or two, but in a series of matches Christina would likely learn to wait her out and let her make mistakes trying to press the offense, and come back and win in the endgame. My prediction in a 12-game tournament; Christina 5, Britney 3, 4 draws. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214/26 "2000-12-06T14:58:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RickJay \* > \*\*Actually, _I_ think the title of the thread was asking which would win a chess match. > > Britney knows a lot of good openings and takes control of the center early, but her endgames are always poorly executed (a common weakness in mid-level players.) Christina’s openings are weaker but she’s strong on defense and uses her knights well. I’d think Britney would probably win the first match or two, but in a series of matches Christina would likely learn to wait her out and let her make mistakes trying to press the offense, and come back and win in the endgame. > > My prediction in a 12-game tournament; Christina 5, Britney 3, 4 draws. \*\* You’ve obviously neglected the “boob implants knocking over the mid board pawns” factor for Britney…and you call yourself a chess enthusiast 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214/27 "2000-12-06T16:26:11Z")
Baahaaahaaahaa! Nacho, that was, like, purrfect, you know! Anyway, I like Britany a tad better than Christina. Britany is sexual but Christina is like “take-me-now-eventhough-you’ll-get-arrested-for-cause-I’m-underage”. She just seems more, well, sluttish. Britany is white bread but Christina is a Twinkie™. Plus, what is up with that hair, girl? Pick a freakin’ color already. I’ve heard of having roots but roots all the way to the last three inches? ---
**Author:** ![sk8rixtx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@sk8rixtx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sk8rixtx)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214/28 "2000-12-07T00:15:54Z")
Nacho, have I ever told you how much you scare the shit out of me? Christina by the way… ::runs:: ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Lord\_Davidson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bc8723/32.png) [@Dark\_Lord\_Davidson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Lord_Davidson)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214/29 "2000-12-07T02:56:11Z")
Britney, in a second. I’d play her like a fiddle. ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214/30 "2000-12-07T04:39:02Z")
> [@](#): > > Nacho, have I ever told you how much you scare the shit out of me? Ba-dum-dum, another sig line on the way! Thanks, sk8rixtx! On a serious note, I’d seriously say that both suck big time. Britney does that throaty, off-key caterwauling that sparks images of innocent, harmless deer being repeatedly thwacked with an SUV/forklift, while Christina sounds like Mariah Carey on crack (which is NOT good, folks). Britney just seems so…dirty. If I had a penis, I wouldn’t want it anywhere near her freaky little vagina. And if I were fucking Christina (in this scenario I’d have a penis too), I’d be afraid that I’d accidentally elbow her and her head would just POP! like a balloon. Of course, then the world would be free from her histrionic interpretations of true goddesses like Etta James (who is, incidentally, flipping in her grave as we speak), so… Christina it is! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214/31 "2000-12-07T04:56:34Z")
Seek out Vanessa Amorosi, and witness true talent and cuteness - no artificial ingredients. ---
**Author:** ![HalberMensch242](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecb155/32.png) [@HalberMensch242](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HalberMensch242)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214/32 "2000-12-07T05:06:26Z")
I think…i’d take on Spears, she’s a bit more meaty, Christina is a bit too, gimpy lookin. I need something to grope…Spears got plenty of groping area, plenty! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214/33 "2000-12-07T06:15:34Z")
Lord Davidson wrote: > [@](#): > > Britney, in a second. > > I’d play her like a fiddle. You mean you’d repeatedly scrape a horse-hair bow across her, mangle her with a bag of rasin rocks, and twist her earlobes really hard until her voice screams out in pain at exactly the right pitch? _That_ I can understand! ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214/34 "2000-12-07T06:31:24Z")
Neither. I like Christina more because she got shit in school for stuff that wasn’t her fault. Britney . . . something about that woman I don’t like. Not that I like either. I much prefer this one person I know . . . 🙂 N4S, you will have to read that post with the appropriate accent when I see you. ---
**Author:** ![Uniball](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Uniball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uniball)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214/35 "2000-12-07T06:34:50Z")
Christina put her mouth in Eminem’s penis. That ruins everything. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214/36 "2000-12-07T08:20:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RickJay \* > \*\*Actually, _I_ think the title of the thread was asking which would win a chess match. > > Britney knows a lot of good openings and takes control of the center early, but her endgames are always poorly executed (a common weakness in mid-level players.) Christina’s openings are weaker but she’s strong on defense and uses her knights well. I’d think Britney would probably win the first match or two, but in a series of matches Christina would likely learn to wait her out and let her make mistakes trying to press the offense, and come back and win in the endgame. > \*\* Umm, _ **WTF** _? They’d be asking how the pieces move every five minutes! Some questions I know we’d hear: “This is the game where I move the pieces diagonally, and I capture pieces by jumping over them, right?” “Pieces can move backwards? This game sucks–it’s too confusing.” “How does the horsie move again?” “When do I get to build houses and hotels?” “Where’s the spinner thingie?” And the number one thing I know we’d hear: “Let me guess, for every piece I lose, I have to take off an article of clothing, right?” ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214/37 "2000-12-07T22:31:36Z")
Uniball wrote: > [@](#): > > Christina put her mouth in Eminem’s penis. That ruins everything. Good God! How wide **is** Eminem’s urethra, anyway?! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214/38 "2000-12-08T00:49:36Z")
Nacho4Sara wrote: > [@](#): > > Britney just seems so…dirty. If I had a penis, I wouldn’t want it anywhere near her freaky little vagina. Are you sure Britney Spears even _has_ a vagina? That whole wait-'til-I’m-married story might just be a ruse. ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214/39 "2000-12-08T02:23:56Z")
> [@](#): > > Are you sure Britney Spears even has a vagina? That whole wait-'til-I’m-married story might just be a ruse. I think you might be onto something here, tracer. I for one would not be surprised if she was a man. After all, the transvestite population needed another role model after Babs got hitched. 😉 Anyway, on a highly ironical note, my cousin Barbie just called and _begged_ me to take her daughter, who is 7, to the Christina A. concert Saturday night here in Baltimore. Because she offered me $40 plus money for food and gas, I am going. Tenth row! It’s a mad mad world, folks. I’m telling ya. ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214/40 "2000-12-08T02:58:38Z")
Yeah, me 4 Britney too. Actually my cousin used to dance with Chistina a few years ago, she said “she was a bitch.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britney-or-christina/44214.md?page=1)