# Britney's marital woes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 15, 2005, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578 "2005-03-15T03:27:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/1 "2005-03-15T03:27:50Z")
If anyone else had said it, this would be a pit thread. But this is Britney Spears - the most reality-challenged celebrity who’s not currently facing criminal charges in California. So it’s mundane and pointless and I must share: “We hit a little bit of reality, hardcore, after the first three weeks. But we handled it fine, and now things are starting to go really smooth. Before we got married we were on tour, and we were just like kids, ordering room service, saying, 'Let’s go out tonight. Then, all of a sudden, you have this home, you have the kids, you have to get the diapers, get the dog to the vet. It’s this reality. Like omigod, I have to tell the maid to buy diapers and get the pool boy to walk the dog? Can’t I just make out with Kevin all the time? Being married sucks.” If any working mothers feel the need to declare a fatwa on Mrs. Federline, the rest of us will understand. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/2 "2005-03-15T09:23:16Z")
Actually this would be better in the pit. Then I could use the words that I _really_ want to use. I’ll just have to put it as mildly as possible and say that Britney is an idiot. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/3 "2005-03-15T09:59:07Z")
Of course she is an idiot. Everyone knows you use a dog walker to walk your dog, not a pool boy. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/4 "2005-03-15T10:00:24Z")
And she wonders why her dogs keep drowning ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/5 "2005-03-15T13:17:06Z")
Yep, an idiot. Everyone knows you hire competent help who knows to walk the dog and buy diapers! Brittney shouldn’t have to worry her pretty little head about that stuff! ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/6 "2005-03-15T13:32:03Z")
On the plus side, at least THIS marriage has already lasted longer than the first. How many more marriages you suppose Britney has in store? I figure she’ll have 2 more hubbies by age 30. ---
**Author:** ![Fiveyearlurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@Fiveyearlurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveyearlurker)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/7 "2005-03-15T13:40:26Z")
Any verification of that quote? Seems too good to be true. ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/8 "2005-03-15T13:47:32Z")
Well, at least I now know why my marriage failed after 4 years. I bought the diapers for the kids and we didn’t have a dog. If only we’d had a dog… ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/9 "2005-03-15T14:31:23Z")
[Here’s a link](http://www.macon.com/mld/philly/entertainment/11096859.htm) Scroll about half way down. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/10 "2005-03-15T14:43:06Z")
> [@The King of Soup](#): > > And she wonders why her dogs keep drowning 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/11 "2005-03-15T14:55:47Z")
They “hit reality, hardcore” after 3 weeks, huh? I remember the ol’ “3 week itch” too. If they can just make it to 6 months, I hear everything gets easier. Britney just needs to realize that marriage is a precious thing. I mean she’ll probably only have 4 or 5 more in her whole life, so she’d better make each one count. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/12 "2005-03-15T14:58:14Z")
I’m reasonably sure that Mr. Federline and Ms. Spears are not actually married. I recall that they never had a marriage ceremony. Most states no longer allow common-law marriages. (California, for one, does not.) Spears can say she’s married all she wants, but unless she’s in a common-law state and meets local requirements, saying it doesn’t make it so. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/13 "2005-03-15T15:04:51Z")
I thought they had a wedding, where the groomsmen all wore matching tuxedos (or perhaps track suits) with “PIMP” written across the backs. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/14 "2005-03-15T15:09:36Z")
She reproduced? :eek: When did this happen? ---
**Author:** ![Fiveyearlurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@Fiveyearlurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveyearlurker)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/15 "2005-03-15T15:15:53Z")
It’s not clear to me from that linked article whether she actually said that last part or whether the author was being snarky and interpreting Britney’s reality. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/16 "2005-03-15T15:17:31Z")
Hi, **Good Egg** , it’s a pleasure to meet you. Let us remember that for every empty-headed shell of a person who was given a million-dollar career instead of a couple of unwanted babies and a substandard apartment, there is one lucky producer with an unfulfilled fetish and a dream. Let us hope that s/he gets what s/he deserves. Check that: let us hope that _none_ of us gets what s/he deserves. I certainly don’t want that. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/17 "2005-03-15T15:18:08Z")
> [@Little Nemo](#): > > “Like omigod, I have to tell the maid to buy diapers and get the pool boy to walk the dog? Can’t I just make out with Kevin all the time? Being married sucks.” To be fair, she didn’t actually say that. Other than that, yeah, :rolleyes: Britney. Jeep, she didn’t reproduce, she married a guy who has (3?) kids from people relationship(s). ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/18 "2005-03-15T15:19:44Z")
> [@Little Nemo](#): > > “Like omigod, I have to tell the maid to buy diapers and get the pool boy to walk the dog? Can’t I just make out with Kevin all the time? Being married sucks.” To be fair, she didn’t actually say that. Other than that, yeah, :rolleyes: Britney. Jeep, she didn’t reproduce, she married a guy who has (3?) kids from **previous** relationship(s). Sorry, I’m sleepy. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/19 "2005-03-15T15:32:16Z")
> [@Silver Fire](#): > > Jeep, she didn’t reproduce, she married a guy who has (3?) kids from **previous** relationship(s). Ah. Thanks for clearing that up. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/20 "2005-03-15T16:30:52Z")
> [@](#): > > Jeep, she didn’t reproduce, she married a guy who has (3?) kids from previous relationship(s). If Britney had the maid buy diapers and the pool boy walk the dog, she probably decided to outsource the childbirth as well. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578.md?page=2)