# Britney's marital woes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 15, 2005, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578 "2005-03-15T03:27:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/21 "2005-03-15T16:38:44Z")
> [@](#): > > It’s not clear to me from that linked article whether she actually said that last part or whether the author was being snarky and interpreting Britney’s reality. I took the quote from a different article which attributed it directly to Britney. I will admit however there have been past examples of false quotes being attributed to celebrities. And this one seems amazingly stupid, even for Britney Spears. So I won’t be surprised if this turns out to be a hoax. Or perhaps Spears was trying to be funny and it didn’t come across. But until we know the facts, let’s have fun with it. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Violaceous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Miss\_Violaceous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Violaceous)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/22 "2005-03-15T17:36:14Z")
[Here’s](http://entertainment.msn.com/music/hotgossip3) another version, from MSN entertainment. It lacks some of the valley girl bits. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/23 "2005-03-15T17:42:56Z")
> [@Silver Fire](#): > > . . . she married a guy who has (3?) kids from people relationship(s). Aw man, I like it when they’re half cats. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/24 "2005-03-15T17:48:17Z")
You realize, of course, that this thread will soon become the most popular page on the internet. I mean, just imagine how many people per day Google ““Brittney Spears” +hardcore”. We’ll be overrun! ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/25 "2005-03-15T19:01:13Z")
> [@The King of Soup](#): > > And she wonders why her dogs keep drowning Oddly, Brit didn’t learn a _thing_ from the Water Polo Incident. Water-logged horses _everywhere_. ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/26 "2005-03-15T19:03:14Z")
> [@Silver Fire](#): > > Jeep, she didn’t reproduce, she married a guy who has (3?) kids from **previous** relationship(s). And the kids’ mother(s) let(s) them live with BS? ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/27 "2005-03-15T19:14:41Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Aw man, I like it when they’re half cats. HA! 😛 I should have outsourced the birth of my son. I’ll have to look into that next time. Thanks for the idea, **Nemo**! > [@ratatoskK](#): > > And the kids’ mother(s) let(s) them live with BS? :shrugs: She doesn’t really have a choice if the judge ordered full or joint custody to what’s his name, right? ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/28 "2005-03-15T19:27:05Z")
I have to say that ‘sleeping atop a big comfy pile of money’ is a great phrase. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/29 "2005-03-15T19:33:36Z")
> [@ratatoskK](#): > > And the kids’ mother(s) let(s) them live with BS? The mother thought Britney could use some good role models. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/30 "2005-03-15T19:52:53Z")
To be fair, the quote could have been one of those joking comments where the humor is lost when it’s read instead of heard. (maybe she should have added a smiley.) ---
**Author:** ![brownie55](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f14d63/32.png) [@brownie55](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brownie55)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/31 "2005-03-15T20:05:23Z")
> [@Rue DeDay](#): > > Oddly, Brit didn’t learn a _thing_ from the Water Polo Incident. Water-logged horses _everywhere_. Thank OG, as they are in such demand in the pit. We need a constant supply. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/32 "2005-03-15T23:02:29Z")
> [@Cliffy](#): > > I’m reasonably sure that Mr. Federline and Ms. Spears are not actually married. I recall that they never had a marriage ceremony. Most states no longer allow common-law marriages. (California, for one, does not.) Spears can say she’s married all she wants, but unless she’s in a common-law state and meets local requirements, saying it doesn’t make it so. > > –Cliffy No, you’ve got it backwards-they had a ceremony, but they never filed the certificate, at least that was what was reported at the time. Perhaps they’ve done so since then. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/33 "2005-03-16T03:11:45Z")
> [@harmless](#): > > The mother thought Britney could use some good role models. Ow. The laughing, it hurts. ---
**Author:** ![Fiveyearlurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@Fiveyearlurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveyearlurker)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/34 "2005-03-16T04:37:05Z")
Wow. Never thought I’d be Ms. Spears’ defender, but it sure doesn’t look like she said that last sentence, which is really the only inflammatory part of the quote. The author of the linked article goes to some length to make it look like she did say it though. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/35 "2005-03-16T04:55:14Z")
> [@Miss Violaceous](#): > > [Here’s](http://entertainment.msn.com/music/hotgossip3) another version, from MSN entertainment. It lacks some of the valley girl bits. To the point, it lacks the specific phrases that make the OP’s quote sound so airheaded: > [@](#): > > “Before we got married we were on tour, and we were just like kids, ordering room service, saying, ‘Let’s go out tonight,’” Britney told the magazine. “Then, all of a sudden, you have this home, you have the kids [Federline’s children Kaleb, eight months, and Kori, 2, with ex-girlfriend Shar Jackson], you have to get the diapers, get the dog to the vet. It’s this reality, you know.” So yeah, still pretty airheaded, but not quite so much as on first report. ---
**Author:** ![Keapon\_Laffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e274bd/32.png) [@Keapon\_Laffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keapon_Laffin)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/36 "2005-03-16T04:56:27Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > How many more marriages you suppose Britney has in store? I figure she’ll have 2 more hubbies by age 30. At least. But I figure she can probably only take about 3 more months of diaper changing before she files for separation. Headlines: _“We remain good friends despite separation”_ I’d give another 3 months before she files for divorce, during which she will be linked with at least 3 other guys. Headlines:\* “We remain good friends despite divorce”\* ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/37 "2005-03-16T05:11:14Z")
Yeah, it’s pretty clear from the context that the last line is not actually Titney’s. But while I’m willing to believe that she may have changed the odd diaper, does anyone really believe that when she uses that last Huggie in the middle of the night, she’s the one who nips out to Kroger to pick more up? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/38 "2005-03-16T05:18:53Z")
Seeing as I am the Britney Master (don’t tell anyone…), I shall clear up a few things. 1. That isn’t the actual quote. Any of you can pick up the most recent copy of Allure Magazine and read the real quote. I believe someone posted the actual quote, also. I admit, she’s airheaded, but she’s what? 22? No, it’s not an excuse- I’m just saying. Plus, she’s not famous because she cured cancer, she’s famous because people _really_ enjoy masturbating to her. 😃 2. They are actually married. They had a ceremony and then got the legal things worked out a couple weeks later. 3. Kevin (her creepy looking husband who sort of resembles Bugs Bunny if Bugs Bunny did drugs and had pants that don’t fit) has 2 kids from a previous girlfriend (Shar Jackson). Kori is the little girl (4?) and Kaleb is the baby who was born not too long ago. Shar has custody, but Kevin and Britney have visitation. I know too much about Britney Spears. Kill me now. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/39 "2005-03-16T12:02:02Z")
Britney is having marital problems?!!! ohhhhhh Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Wait…hold on…Flings the doors open wide for the Federlines…" Welcome to the club!\*" Marital Problems is a redundancy. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578/40 "2005-03-16T16:50:52Z")
> [@](#): > > Marital Problems is a redundancy. That’s because it’s so hard to find good help nowadays. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/britneys-marital-woes/294578.md?page=1)