# Brits: If them yanks can play chess on here, then we can play Mornington Crescent! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 7, 2005, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344 "2005-03-07T12:58:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344/121 "2005-03-11T14:45:18Z")
The Hangar Lane Gyratory conflict precludes the triple-crown of **Oxford Circus** , so it’ll have to be **Lancaster Gate**. ---
**Author:** ![Iceland\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@Iceland\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iceland_Blue)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344/122 "2005-03-13T01:18:25Z")
And I shall sing us happily on our way to **Plaistow** ---
**Author:** ![owlstretchingtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/958977/32.png) [@owlstretchingtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/owlstretchingtime)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344/123 "2005-03-13T10:18:43Z")
Right then. Lets sum up - we are playing Marble Arch rules, with Royal Wedding additions (although this is a bit foggy) and we are in Plaistow (God help us). That means that where ever the next move takes us - well you know the rest. So reluctantly: **Hyde Park Corner** Gentlemen you know what to do. ---
**Author:** ![Iceland\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@Iceland\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iceland_Blue)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344/124 "2005-03-13T10:39:30Z")
pulls down trousers and dances half-naked through thread to the cheers of admiring women Oh no,the other thing I have to do? Ok then…ahemm…clears throat… **Mornington Crescent!** 😃😃😃 cue music,lights,party ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344/125 "2005-03-14T16:59:29Z")
> [@Iceland\_Blue](#): > > Oh no,the other thing I have to do? Ok then…ahemm…clears throat… **Mornington Crescent!** Does that mean the game is over, and a mod should close this thread? ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344/126 "2005-03-14T23:13:46Z")
> [@Iceland\_Blue](#): > > pulls down trousers and dances half-naked through thread to the cheers of admiring women > > Oh no,the other thing I have to do? Ok then…ahemm…clears throat… **Mornington Crescent!** > > 😃😃😃 cue music,lights,party Half-trousers are definitely forbidden under Rotal Wedding Rules. Half-Trousers (and even three-quarter trousers when green is the color going forward) are only acceptable as a _defense_ against pre-emptive MC’ing under Royal Wedding. And even under Revised Royal Wedding, we don’t want to see you naked. Poor taste, really. Also, I feel confident that at least a plurality of the governing bodies won’t let a game go to a player who has been “ejected from the arena of play” (Guildford Square Finals decision, '78). The Islington foreclosures have pushed me to the black black edge of despair – half-trousers being played invalidate your **MC** move, but because half-trousers are in play (despite **Iceland\_Blue** ’s untimely banning!) and we haven’t resolved Royal Wedding, I’m going with **Edgware**. As for the Royal Wedding, remember that Charles is head of the Church of England, and the church “blessing” will effectively serve as the last event of the wedding – so that even though the majority of the wedding may take place outside the church, the leader of the church comes into a church to have it sealed before G-d. I should say that all of the Royal Wedding Rules are in effect except for those which hinge on the presence of an organist or choir. ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344/127 "2005-03-15T00:11:12Z")
- Phew \* It took some finding, guys, but I finally managed to sort out the Royal Wedding issue! I appreciate it’s a bit late, but I thought I’d offer it here just for the record. I was not able to find any relevant ruling or decision in the _WMCF Tournament Play Concordance_. I’ve checked the current edition, the previous two editions, and the relevant cross-referenced entries in Creuther & Jonak’s _Annotated MC Rulings 1990-2002_ (the most recent edition available). I did find many useful articles on the various applications of the Royal Wedding rules, of course, but none pertaining to the precise issue of the relevance (if any) of the location of the planned wedding, which arose in this thread. However, I took a chance and consulted the _Official Record of the 1986 European Championship_ (edited by Montaigne, Ryder & Ryder). This was the year of the Andrew / Fergie wedding, which as it happens _did_ take place in Westminster Abbey, and luckily for us the precise issue under review was the subject of an official ruling by the WMCF Council. This ruling is 3 pages long, and was offered in response to a complex protest lodged by the Italian team after their 9-5 quarter final exit from the competition. The Belgians (led by the mighty Croisseu in what would sadly be his last professional match) had snatched victory with a blistering move from **Acton Central** to **Southfields** (a move which, I think I’m right in saying, has to this day never been repeated in official tournament play). Those who want the full ruling can refer to the book, but the essential point (and I hope the Mods will consider such a short quote okay) is here: > [@](#): > > **…we find that in the case of a move, play or strategy deemed to be legal on account of a Royal Wedding having been announced but not yet having taken place, then the legality shall suffer no test predicated on the location (stated, intended, assumed or actual) of the Royal Wedding, nor on this location’s proximity to any given station available within legal play at the time of the move…** I guess that says all that needs to be said. ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344/128 "2005-03-15T00:21:45Z")
Hm. Well, then, however ill-advised it may be (I didn’t even think to check the Shropshire Appendices!) my move to **Edgware** stands, where an astute student of British Colonialism, mollusks, or graph theory should be able to deal me the harsh blow which I richly deserve. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344/129 "2005-03-15T15:04:37Z")
> [@Jurph](#): > > Hm. Well, then, however ill-advised it may be (I didn’t even think to check the Shropshire Appendices!) my move to **Edgware** stands, where an astute student of British Colonialism, mollusks, or graph theory should be able to deal me the harsh blow which I richly deserve. Let me try graph theory: Edgware to **Bank** via the Northern line Bank to **Wimbledon** via the District line Wimbledon to **East Croydon** via Croydon tramlink East Croydon to **Gatwick Airport** via the Brighton line Ha! Now I can catch a plane and get right out of the country! ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344/130 "2005-03-15T15:09:52Z")
Graph theory is only applicable when using a seven-dimensional map. As you are surely aware, these don’t yet incorporate the tram lines!! :smack: **Wanstead** ---
**Author:** ![Coin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Coin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coin)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344/131 "2005-03-15T19:52:59Z")
But as we’re _not_ using a seven dimensional map, the Cleese Accords of '01 _remain in force_, something none of you seem to have accounted for. This means, among other things, that it is acceptable for a Yank to jump in at any point in the game, provided he is eating something suitably British (like the plate of pig’s snout in parsley and onion sauce I have perched on my lap, which I will share with any players willing to come to Illinois and get some, as per the rules) Let’s see…the Bank variants have been played, and one player has caught a plane off the island… Ah, hell with it. Mornington Crescent! ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344/132 "2005-03-15T20:31:18Z")
_ **Unbolded?** _ You fool! You’ve not only squandered a winning move, but opened up the Victoria Line reversible entractivity!! **King’s Cross St Pancras** ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344/133 "2005-03-15T20:44:27Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > _ **Unbolded?** _ You fool! You’ve not only squandered a winning move, but opened up the Victoria Line reversible entractivity!! > > **King’s Cross St Pancras** Though I live across the pond, I’m not actuallky a Yank. And having lived in both Leeds abd Leicester, I know that this opens up more options: the old Londen and North Eastern Railway from Kings Cross, and the old London Midland and Scottish Railway from St Pancras. OK, I’ll take the old LMS line to **Leicester London Road** , from which it’s a short walk for me to visit my aunt. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344/134 "2005-03-15T23:17:39Z")
But prior to the Big Four, it was always customary that such bi-primary colour approaches would be withheld, wasn’t it? In any case, I’ll take a gentlemanly open move to **South Kensington** ---
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344/135 "2005-03-16T00:04:38Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > But prior to the Big Four, it was always customary that such bi-primary colour approaches would be withheld, wasn’t it? In any case, I’ll take a gentlemanly open move to **South Kensington** And by the Market Option so generously provided by such a move, due to its placement and your insistent to go with a move achievable through a sinusoidal triple-back Gospel Oak Bounce, I shall now enter the game late, and declare my bewildering intention to move to **Tower Gateway**. Let’s see what you do with that one, then! ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344/136 "2005-03-16T00:19:40Z")
Remote train-operated block positioning? Simple! **Woodford** ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344/137 "2005-03-16T07:16:11Z")
I’m a Yank. However, in the spirit of fair play, I was once hit on by a lovely local gal at **Leicester Square** on a summer evening in 2000, and over a pint we discussed her dress, my accent, and why Yanks can’t manage :dubious: to keep a straight 🙂 face when 😛 using roundabout rules to play **Cockfoster’s**. 😃 Since **King’s Cross** gets me closest to RAF Mildenhall (only a 2 hour train ride) I’m going to have to play my sympathy card – mind you, not my literal sympathy card, just a figure of speech, since we know what happened to sympathy cards in '01 – and go with **Kentish Town** and hope I can catch a train from there. Oh, and for anyone who enjoys a subtle challenge, consult the North Country Annexed Memoranda of Understanding (volume XXI, annotated). If you don’t have that, Olsen’s Standard Book (expurgated) should do, as long as you ignore Chapter 3. Now, consider the stations I’ve mentioned _carefully_. There should only be two really “pure” moves, here – and in a moment there will be only one. _ahem_ “Bob’s your Uncle.” ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344/138 "2005-03-16T07:25:09Z")
Mildenhall? Nice move - I can now claim Suffolk Military Installation Home Advantage. **Tottenham Hale**. ---
**Author:** ![owlstretchingtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/958977/32.png) [@owlstretchingtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/owlstretchingtime)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344/139 "2005-03-16T10:49:33Z")
I’ve been thinking about this… I can’t recall a single instance of a legitimate winning move being made by a player who is then immediately sent off. I had a look in the concise rulebook, which by definition isn’t going to have every possible outcome in it, and there was nothing. So what I’m saying is that we may be actually setting a precedent here and perhaps someone should get in touch with the International MC Comission for a ruling - or at least to let them know what’s going on. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344/140 "2005-03-16T14:22:50Z")
> [@owlstretchingtime](#): > > perhaps someone should get in touch with the International MC Comission for a ruling - or at least to let them know what’s going on. If you can get two people to agree on what has been going on in this thread, you’re a better person than me. Meanwhile, I’ll take the River Lea (or Lee) water jump over to **Blackhorse Road**. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brits-if-them-yanks-can-play-chess-on-here-then-we-can-play-mornington-crescent/293344.md?page=8)