# Broken Songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 19, 2020, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113 "2020-04-19T06:17:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113/1 "2020-04-19T06:17:18Z")
The Four were certainly Fab, but nobody wants to Hold Your Hand these days. Nyah, nyan na nyan nah, It’s your turn Journey, to cry. Not much ‘Loving, Touchin’, Squeezin’ going on. Karen Carpenter sure had a pretty voice, but don’t get Close To Me. However, Me and Mr. Thorogood Drink Alone. All By Ourselves. Nearly 2700 miles of ‘Social Distance’, I reckon. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113/2 "2020-04-19T06:40:30Z")
\*"I put on this mask for you I parade and dance for you, too"\* ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113/3 "2020-04-19T07:19:01Z")
“Love the One You’re With” - I mean, yeah, what other option do I have? ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113/4 "2020-04-19T07:22:31Z")
Eric Carmen is finding it easier to be all by himself these days, and not going all the way. ---
**Author:** ![RioRico](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f04885/32.png) [@RioRico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RioRico)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113/5 "2020-04-19T07:37:31Z")
Neil Diamond’s Sweet Caroline: “Hands; touching hands; reaching out; touching me; touching you”. Alas, the Doors: “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon now, touch me, babe”. And Goldfinger: “He’s the man, the man with the Midas touch”. The Tubes had it right: “Don’t touch me there”. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113/6 "2020-04-19T11:32:40Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > “Love the One You’re With” - I mean, yeah, what other option do I have? Nude Skype-ing. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113/7 "2020-04-19T11:40:03Z")
That song that says “I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free.” No, no, no! “American” is not a place. There’s no “where” there. It needs to be either “I’m proud to be **in America** , where at least I know I’m free,” or “I’m proud to be an American,\*\* because \*\*at least I know I’m free.” Pick one grammatical structure, and stick with it. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113/8 "2020-04-19T11:56:56Z")
Only this morning The thought I’ve been wanting The tropical storm was passing through And so were you How come you’re always crashing Saw your eyes flashing The tropical storm was passing through And so were you With a face like that How couldn’t I want you Drama/tropical storm isnt worth the most beautiful face in the world ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113/9 "2020-04-19T12:39:48Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > “Love the One You’re With” - I mean, yeah, what other option do I have? In Jackson Brownie’s case, he’s got “Rosie”. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113/10 "2020-04-19T13:16:11Z")
I hope Runaround Sue has changed her habits for the duration. I hope Mustang Sally is only doing essential driving at the moment. I hope Little Susie is watching movies at home with her family for the time being. ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Mark\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Finn)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113/11 "2020-04-19T13:54:36Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > That song that says “I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free.” > > No, no, no! > > “American” is not a place. There’s no “where” there. > > It needs to be either “I’m proud to be **in America** , where at least I know I’m free,” or “I’m proud to be an American,\*\* because \*\*at least I know I’m free.” Pick one grammatical structure, and stick with it. Remember that (correctly) “America” refers to the entire super-continent of North, Central, and South America. “The United States of…” is only a portion of “America”. But “Americans” do refer to citizens of the USA only (I can’t think of any other term in common use to replace that). ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113/12 "2020-04-19T14:39:39Z")
Revised lyrics to a Dan Hill travesty: _And sometimes when we touch The contagion is too much And I have to run away And hide_ ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113/13 "2020-04-19T14:47:19Z")
_There’s a warm wind blowing, the stars are out, And I’d really love to see you tonight._ OK, but wear a mask, and stay six feet away. ---
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113/14 "2020-04-19T14:55:43Z")
The song I touch my self is still OK ---
**Author:** ![Yorkshire\_Pudding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/59ef9b/32.png) [@Yorkshire\_Pudding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorkshire_Pudding)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113/15 "2020-04-19T15:23:46Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > That song that says “I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free.” > > No, no, no! > > “American” is not a place. There’s no “where” there. > > It needs to be either “I’m proud to be **in America** , where at least I know I’m free,” or “I’m proud to be an American,\*\* because \*\*at least I know I’m free.” Pick one grammatical structure, and stick with it. It’s a stretch maybe, but “where” can also be used in the sense of “whereas”, “whereby”, “whereupon”, “wherein”, etc. For example: “_ **where** _ this thread seems intended to be about songs whose meanings are now problematic due to quarantine, your post is simply about clauses of a sentence failing to agree.” ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113/16 "2020-04-19T15:59:38Z")
The Police - _Don’t Stand So Close To Me_. Appropriate advice these days. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113/17 "2020-04-19T16:07:08Z")
> [@Yorkshire\_Pudding](#): > > For example: “_ **where** _ this thread seems intended to be about songs whose meanings are now problematic due to quarantine, your post is simply about clauses of a sentence failing to agree.” I know, but I bitch about that song whenever I can, and I thought a time when the US wasn’t offering much to be proud of might get a pass. ---
**Author:** ![Yorkshire\_Pudding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/59ef9b/32.png) [@Yorkshire\_Pudding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorkshire_Pudding)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113/18 "2020-04-19T16:24:12Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > I know, but I bitch about that song whenever I can, and I thought a time when the US wasn’t offering much to be proud of might get a pass. Roger. Copy that. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113/19 "2020-04-19T20:00:20Z")
_Touch me, turn me on, and burn me down…_ ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113/20 "2020-04-19T20:05:48Z")
> [@RioRico](#): > > Neil Diamond’s Sweet Caroline: “Hands; touching hands; reaching out; touching me; touching you”. Last month Mr. Diamond released a new version that changed the words to [“Hands, washing hands, reaching out, don’t touch me”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPLgsV_Ms3Q) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broken-songs/852113.md?page=2)