# Broomstick, I'm calling you out.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [March 16, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723 "2003-03-16T03:48:46Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723/1 "2003-03-16T03:48:46Z")

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Oh so very many moons ago, **Broomstick** and I had a little disagreement about sitting on public toilet seats. I’ve always been a hoverer, and I was told, in no uncertain terms, that hovering put me in the same class of person that steals candy from babies, kicks puppies and kittens, and leaves dirty tampons lying around for others to find.

Ok. So I evaluate the situation. Why do I hover? Do I _NEED_ to hover? It’s my mom who got me started, but she also told me that squeezing pimples would cause you to get a brain aneurysm, so perhaps her information in this regard is suspect.

So I think, perhaps I’ll just _TRY_ sitting. Gradually, over many months, I have managed to sit on a few public toilet seats. It has been a reasonably satisfactory experience, until today.

Because today, folks

_ **I SAT IN SOMEONE ELSE’S PEE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!** _

**Broomstick** , I am holding you personally responsible. 😃

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**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723/2 "2003-03-16T04:06:47Z")

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Oh, that is just awwwwwful **AIW**. There is nothing grosser than sitting in a puddle of someone else’s piddle (except of course plonking your posterior onto someone else’s poop).

**Broomstick** , you should be ashamed of yer’self. Fancy not telling AIW to **check** the condition of the toilet seat beforehand.

😛

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**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723/3 "2003-03-16T04:16:35Z")

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So now someone else will sit in your hover splatttered pee. The great circle of wetness continues.

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**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723/4 "2003-03-16T04:39:13Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by astro \*  
> \*\*So now someone else will sit in your hover splatttered pee. The great circle of wetness continues. \*\*

Nay, I Say!

I always clean up after myself, should any droplets miss their mark.

I just don’t think I’m going to be able to sit anymore.

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**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723/5 "2003-03-16T04:56:52Z")

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:eek: Ack! No TMI warning! Ack!

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**Author:** ![Ashkicker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4bbf92/32.png) [@Ashkicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashkicker)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723/6 "2003-03-16T05:00:56Z")

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Oh you poor thing. I am a hoverer too! But, “I am a sweetie 'cause I wipe the seatie”. Please people if you miss the target, please wipe the seat for those that don’t hover.

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**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723/7 "2003-03-16T06:14:18Z")

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I always wipe the seat down (whether I see anything on it or not) or use the disposable seat covers if available. Every time.

NEVER sit on a public toilet seat without wiping it down first. And, if you see big splatters of pee on it that you don’t feel will be sufficiently removed by wiping, _then_ hover.

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**Author:** ![kp\_72110](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e68b1a/32.png) [@kp\_72110](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kp_72110)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723/8 "2003-03-16T10:43:53Z")

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It’s times like these that make me happy to be a man. No hovering, no sitting. Just stand in front of it, whip it out and… ahhhh!

Perish the thought of pooping in a public toilet! ewww! No telling how many pimple covered butts have sat there before me. I’d have to scrape my ass off with a razor blade if even one of my butt hairs touched that seat.

\<i’d like to think my mother and father for the donation of their chromosones, potty training for teaching me to stand and pee, and of course my penis; without which none of this would be possible\>

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**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723/9 "2003-03-16T12:07:16Z")

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Are you sure it wasn’t just flush splash? Sometimes a flush can be quite violent and get everywhere.

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**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723/10 "2003-03-16T12:21:31Z")

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And here I thought someone had figured out who dropped the two dozen rolls of toilet paper on **Alice’s** roof… \>cough\< \>cough\< not that I’ve _ever_ done anything like that…

**Alice…** _you have to check the seat before sitting_, OK hon? Because a hoverer might have been there before you.

Choose which seats you sit upon wisely, and wipe first if necessary.

And we won’t talk about the Outhouse Stories ™ where I elected to use the bushes - _really_ - after a fellow camper discovered wasps had elected to nest under the seat the hard way - by pissing on their colony.

And if you feel you MUST go back to hovering please wipe up after yourself if necessary, OK? 'Cause worse than hoevering is leaving one’s bodily wastes or the seat wrapper - hey, if YOU don’t want to touch that skanky paper thing what makes you think I do?

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**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723/11 "2003-03-16T14:42:42Z")

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Here I was thinking, “a poster I like to read calling out another poster I like to read, this can’t be good.” I opened this thread with a great deal of trepidation, hoping it wouldn’t be too bad, and that we would all eventually get along.

Damn it, ladies!

I most _definitely_ did not need to see this.

Ugh.

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**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723/12 "2003-03-16T14:48:14Z")

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Our toilets at work are autoflushers, and they leave a pee-looking backsplash on the seat everytime. It was probably just that. No worries 🙂

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**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723/13 "2003-03-16T14:51:05Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> And we won’t talk about the Outhouse Stories ™ where I elected to use the bushes - really - after a fellow camper discovered wasps had elected to nest under the seat the hard way - by pissing on their colony.

This refusal by itself merits a Pitting!

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**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723/14 "2003-03-16T15:18:21Z")

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I’m not sure if I’m disgusted, or aroused.

Let’s go with aroused…it’s usually a safe bet.

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723/15 "2003-03-16T20:30:56Z")

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I’m amazed anyone would sit on a public toilet seat without at least checking to see if it’s clean and dry, let alone wiping it off first. I figured this out years ago, _and I’m a guy!_

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**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2003, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723/16 "2003-03-16T23:52:38Z")

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See, that’s _another_ problem with hovering… it lets vital protective reflexes like seat checking atrophy.

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**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723/17 "2003-03-17T00:24:16Z")

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There is but one [solution](http://www.coffeespill.com)

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**Author:** ![Tia3child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/54ee81/32.png) [@Tia3child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tia3child)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723/18 "2003-03-17T00:36:26Z")

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I am so sorry for you AIW thats not cool. I hover too and I won’t even think of sitting just for the basic fact that no matter what other peopl say you know that some one sat on that tiolet and they probably did not wash thier ass. I feel dirty just thinking about it.

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**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723/19 "2003-03-17T00:43:58Z")

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Am I the only person in the world who puts toilet paper on the toilet seat? My bum never touches the actual seat (ew).

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**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/broomstick-im-calling-you-out/161723/20 "2003-03-17T02:08:01Z")

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I _DID_ check the seat. It was kind of dim in there (one of the overhead bulbs was out), and I really didn’t want to get my face 6" away from a public toilet seat, if you know what I’m saying.

Suffice it to say, I was _really, **REALLY** _ not impressed.

Perhaps I’ll go back to the hand perch - that when you put one hand’s worth of fingertips on the seat and sort of perch your butt on it. This may sound gross, but I figure I’m going to wash my hands after anyhow, whereas washing my butt in a public restroom may be a tad tricky.

Great. Now my butt skin is feeling all creepy again thinking about it. Blech.

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