# Brother-in-Law: Mentally ill, or irredeemably stupid? (long)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brother-in-law-mentally-ill-or-irredeemably-stupid-long/789736
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [June 24, 2017, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brother-in-law-mentally-ill-or-irredeemably-stupid-long/789736 "2017-06-24T06:37:17Z")
**Posts on this page:** 11
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [June 25, 2017, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brother-in-law-mentally-ill-or-irredeemably-stupid-long/789736/41 "2017-06-25T17:28:11Z")
> [@purplehearingaid](#):
>
> Didn’t the doctor report this to the police department b/c the dog should had to been quarantine ? The dog may had been put down if the ACO felt that dog was a danger to other people.
> I really hate to saw this but I think the guy is a dickhead and not mentally ill and
> I hope to hell people don’t bring their child to the house anymore . If the dog started acted strange he could be sick or have cancer . My hearing dog got cancer in his kidneys and he started to act strange by growling at me as if he didn’t know who I was . This happen 2 times and my granddaughter was a toddler and I didn’t want my dog growling at her or worst attacking her so I put my dog down. The cancer could had spread to his brain and causing my dog to act strangely.
And didn’t he say that the dog doesn’t have all of its shots? I can’t imagine that the medics have veto power to say, “well, the girl loves the dog, so we can’t let you do anything about it.”
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### Author:  [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2017, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brother-in-law-mentally-ill-or-irredeemably-stupid-long/789736/42 "2017-06-26T15:11:20Z")
Sorry - late back to the thread. A may have been guessed, it’s been a busy weekend. :mad:
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#):
>
> I think it’s time for Mama to get a backbone. He might not be willing to work on his own problems, but she can certainly choose to work on herself.
The problem isn’t that she lacks spine - it’s that she’s been using it the wrong way.
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### Author:  [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2017, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brother-in-law-mentally-ill-or-irredeemably-stupid-long/789736/43 "2017-06-26T15:12:24Z")
> [@Merneith](#):
>
> This is unclear - if there’s a police report, why hasn’t the dog been quarantined? There might be another step that needs to happen, here?
>
> Or maybe the family conference has made a difference?
TWo-bite rule, until Animal Services gets involved. And yes, they ARE involved now. I don’t know if they’ve collected the dog yet.
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### Author:  [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2017, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brother-in-law-mentally-ill-or-irredeemably-stupid-long/789736/44 "2017-06-26T15:18:06Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#):
>
> And leaving a child in a house with a dangerous dog doesn’t?
Welcome to the financial margin. My sister has three children to feed, clothe, and see through school. The social safety network is _inadequate_. Our extended family resources are _inadequate_. Unpleasant and risky decisions are _routine_. The wrong decisions can put all four (minus Jerk-Ass BiL) of them in _worse_ situations than they are in now. NONE of this is happy-making. There are no magic wands - We can only do the best we can.
> [@](#):
>
> I grew up in an abusive household. The children need to be protected first and foremost.
>
> The father needs to understand that there are legal consequences for his actions.
Agreed, and agreed. HOW that is to be done where we are now. Lawyers are (finally) involved.
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### Author:  [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2017, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brother-in-law-mentally-ill-or-irredeemably-stupid-long/789736/45 "2017-06-26T15:21:17Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#):
>
> So what if they don’t? It’s not going to make the situation worse than living with a biting dog.
Potentially, it could put them in MUCH worse situations. BiL is a known Jerk-Ass, with unpleasiant behaviors including things which my sister thinks look like mental illness. Now _what_ could possibly go wrong with embarassing or humiliating such a person? Hmm…
Lawyers are in-play, but it’s early days. Everything is covert, until all ducks are in a row.
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### Author:  [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2017, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brother-in-law-mentally-ill-or-irredeemably-stupid-long/789736/46 "2017-06-26T15:23:00Z")
> [@Ruken](#):
>
> You said you know what needs to be done. So stop making excuses and do it. You can’t control what others do but you can control what you do. There is a child in danger and you can do something about that right now.
FUCK. YOU.
That is all. Just FUCK YOU and all of your assumptions.
> [@Johnny\_Bravo](#):
>
> Good. Stop reading this thread and go call child services.
>
> Let me put it this way - I’m a mandated reporter in my state. If somebody I knew was telling me this story, I would be committing a felony by not making that phone call.
Fuck YOU, also. Are you blind, or just illiterate? The reporting is DONE. Or do you not understand what it means when someone says:
> [@](#):
>
> …Yes, the police have the details - ER Staffers called, and they did in interview and took pictures before teh wonds were closed…
Take your assumptions, and your high horse, staple them together, and stuff them up your ass.
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### Author:  [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2017, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brother-in-law-mentally-ill-or-irredeemably-stupid-long/789736/47 "2017-06-26T15:32:24Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#):
>
> And didn’t he say that the dog doesn’t have all of its shots? I can’t imagine that the medics have veto power to say, “well, the girl loves the dog, so we can’t let you do anything about it.”
Actually, they don’t. Nor should they - Though they _do_ need to know the next steps as for informing Animal Services and Police (handled, as per OP + follow-up). Nor would they know immunization status. Animal Services _does_ have the authority, need, and resources to know or determine these things.
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### Author:  [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2017, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brother-in-law-mentally-ill-or-irredeemably-stupid-long/789736/48 "2017-06-26T15:34:25Z")
> [@Merneith](#):
>
> You don’t have to prove emotional abuse. The child still has four bloody wounds on her face. You pick up the phone and call CPS yourself. Be sure to get photos of those wounds, by the way.
>
> Don’t even talk about the emotional stuff and the suspected schizophrenia. Just say that your niece’s husky tried to bite her face off and your brother-in-law is refusing to get rid of the dog (which doesn’t have its shots.)
>
> Then call animal control yourself and repeat that.
>
> Then, if it’s necessary, drive your sister to the police and have her, the girl’s mother, make a police report.
>
> Then, if necessary, help her move out. She owes it to her daughter to protect her from her father’s … oh, let’s say, _contempt_. She owes it to her son, too.
> It’s a shame about the dog, of course, but honestly, he’s not the priority here. If there’s any hope for him, he has to be put in a new home. And sadly, there might not be any hope for him.
Does no one read the OP for content any more?
See this line here:
> [@](#):
>
> (Yes, the police have the details - ER Staffers called, and they did in interview and took pictures before teh wonds were closed).
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### Author:  [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2017, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brother-in-law-mentally-ill-or-irredeemably-stupid-long/789736/49 "2017-06-26T16:05:48Z")
It was a long and not entirely coherent OP. It’s not clear in that sentence who is doing the interview and taking photos - the ER staff or the police. It’s also not clear that an official police report had been filed.
But it sounds like you’re making progress. I’m glad you’ve called in the lawyers and Animal Control. Those are important steps. I understand your sister needs to proceed with caution. It’s sad, but that’s the smart play.
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### Author:  [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2017, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brother-in-law-mentally-ill-or-irredeemably-stupid-long/789736/50 "2017-06-26T16:44:58Z")
I’m glad things are progressing and sorry that your family has to go through this.
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2017, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/brother-in-law-mentally-ill-or-irredeemably-stupid-long/789736/51 "2017-06-26T18:07:04Z")
> [@Tranquilis](#):
>
> FUCK. YOU.
> That is all. Just FUCK YOU and all of your assumptions.
>
> Fuck YOU, also. Are you blind, or just illiterate? The reporting is DONE. Or do you not understand what it means when someone says:
> Take your assumptions, and your high horse, staple them together, and stuff them up your ass.
[Moderating]
**Tranquilis** , my sympathies for what your family is going through. However, saying “fuck you” to other posters is still against Pit rules. Please avoid doing this in the future. No warning issued.
Since this is more of a support thread and less of a rant at this point, I think I’m going to move this to MPSIMS, which will also hopefully forestall any more aggressive responses.
[/Moderating]
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