# Buffalo Bills inexplicably hire Chan Gailey as head coach
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645
**Category:** The Game Room
**Created:** [January 20, 2010, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645 "2010-01-20T01:41:42Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2010, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645/1 "2010-01-20T01:41:42Z")
The only possible reason I can see for this hire is that Ralph Wilson wants to piss off as many season ticket holders as possible so he can lobby to move the team to LA or something. Reports are coming out that they had the opportunity to hire Marty Schottenheimer or Brian Billick, both coaches who have had more recent success than the recently-fired offensive coordinator of a 2-14 team.
As a Bills fan, I wish I could say that this is the straw that broke the camel’s back, but until the team is actually out of Buffalo, I can’t give up on them. I am beginning to feel like a battered spouse.
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### Author:  [@Booker57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Booker57)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2010, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645/2 "2010-01-20T01:46:45Z")
Any possability of playing home games in the Ralph till November and then moving to a domed stadium for the rest of the season? They don’t play hockey at the Rogers Centre do they.
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### Author:  [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2010, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645/3 "2010-01-20T02:22:16Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#):
>
> Reports are coming out that they had the opportunity to hire Marty Schottenheimer or Brian Billick, both coaches who have had more recent success than the recently-fired offensive coordinator of a 2-14 team.
What I hear is that those guys (among others) turned the Bills job down. The team really didn’t have a lot of options; Gailey might be the best they could get.
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### Author:  [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2010, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645/4 "2010-01-20T02:40:20Z")
Report on [espn.com](http://espn.com) says that at least Marty really wanted the job, but Ralph was “uncomfortable” with him.
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### Author:  [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2010, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645/5 "2010-01-20T03:37:06Z")
Wow. If that’s true, that’s pretty fucked up.
hmmm…
I know this sounds crazy considering their front office, but could they think Marty’s too old at 66? Maybe need a younger guy to offset all the liver spots they have going on in the organization?
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### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2010, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645/6 "2010-01-20T03:49:36Z")
> [@EllisDee](#):
>
> What I hear is that those guys (among others) turned the Bills job down. The team really didn’t have a lot of options; Gailey might be the best they could get.
Everyone else turned the job down. Marty didn’t even get a nibble.
It’s ridiculous.
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2010, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645/7 "2010-01-20T04:55:27Z")
Let’s say I’m perplexed. No, I don’t think Wilson has any kind of scheme to move the team. Most people think he’s the only freaking thing keeping them in Buffalo, so that’s ass backward. What it does show is that a lot of people turned the Bills down because the team and the organization are not in demand at all. It stings a little but it’s not surprising. I didn’t think Cowher and Shanahan were ever coming to town, but they were only the most prominent people to say no. It sucks. I’m not sure how Gailey is supposed to improve it.
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### Author:  [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2010, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645/8 "2010-01-20T15:27:43Z")
If the 1989 documentary, _Major League_, is accurate, Gailey will subversively (and drunkenly) inspire the Bills players to overperform, thus foiling any plot to move the team.
That was baseball, though. The football documentary, _The Replacements_, is probably a better comparison heading into a possible 2011 work stoppage.
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### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2010, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645/9 "2010-01-20T15:30:04Z")
I’d actually watch the Pro Bowl if Keanu was in it.
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### Author:  [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2010, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645/10 "2010-01-20T15:50:55Z")
> [@Marley23](#):
>
> Let’s say I’m perplexed. No, I don’t think Wilson has any kind of scheme to move the team. Most people think he’s the only freaking thing keeping them in Buffalo, so that’s ass backward. What it does show is that a lot of people turned the Bills down because the team and the organization are not in demand at all. It stings a little but it’s not surprising. I didn’t think Cowher and Shanahan were ever coming to town, but they were only the most prominent people to say no. It sucks. I’m not sure how Gailey is supposed to improve it.
I’m siding with Wilson on this one, to claim that no one wanted the job is asinine. Yeah, Cowher and Shanahan are holding out for the perfect situation but those guys are just 2 guys and they are the rare coaches who actually have that luxury. I think there were plenty of guys beating down the doors for that job, but the Bills had some bizarre restrictions on the type of guy they wanted.
Marty Schottenheimer would have been perfect, sure he’s old and probably not going to win a damn thing in the post-season and he’ll burn out his players in year 4, but he’s a proven organization builder and the Bills could have brought him in and trusted that he’d leave the team better than he found it.
I think Wilson was infatuated with Cowher and his recommendation of Gailey had everything to do with this. It wasn’t a scarcity of options, it’s that Cowher completely seduced Wilson and the discussions he had with the team turned into consulting sessions instead of pre-interviews.
The weird thing is that the coaching candidates this year seem almost universally defensive minded, which seems uncommon, and Wilson was bound and determined to get a proven offensive guy. Can you name me another candidate that fits that description who’s actually been interviewing who isn’t named Shanahan?
Anyone else wonder what would have happened if Mike Nolan had been canned a day or two earlier?
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### Author:  [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2010, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645/11 "2010-01-20T16:03:41Z")
No one wanted the job. News Flash: IT’S BUFFALO.
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### Author:  [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2010, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645/12 "2010-01-20T16:34:03Z")
Sure it’s Buffalo. But this is the NFL. There are only thirty-two head coaching positions in professional football.
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### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2010, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645/13 "2010-01-20T16:40:19Z")
1. Surely you don’t count the Raiders?
Or the AFL or CFL, apparently.
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### Author:  [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2010, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645/14 "2010-01-20T16:52:41Z")
> [@Philster](#):
>
> No one wanted the job. News Flash: IT’S BUFFALO.
Buffalo is easily ahead of at least 8 other cities in the NFL as far as appeal. The Bills weren’t blacked out at all this season, which is more than several other teams can say.
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### Author:  [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2010, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645/15 "2010-01-20T16:53:08Z")
I count the Raiders, but the position of head coach is currently occupied by Al Davis.
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### Author:  [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2010, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645/16 "2010-01-20T16:57:00Z")
[At least Buffalo fans are taking the hire well.](http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2010/01/a-children%E2%80%99s-treasury-of-chan-gailey-hatred.html#more-23568)
> [@](#):
>
> You’d think a 132-year-old with ears that go down to his fucking shoulders would be able to listen to not only the fans — but every goddamn fucking football expert in America. Nowhere, anywhere — even in Gailey’s own fucking house — did someone say: “Let’s hire Chan Gailey.” He’s surrounded himself with paste eating retards that have no business getting their filthy retard fingers anywhere near a football team.
> [@](#):
>
> How in the fuck do you go from chasing Shanahan, Cowher, Schottenheimer and Frazier to hiring this retard? And can someone explain to me why the meetings had to be stealthy and secret? It’s not like anybody else wants him. I guess it was just a nice little stealthy fuck you to an already tourtured fan base. I really hope the corpse of Ralph Wilson made this deal because if not, apparently Buddy Nix sucks a dick as well…..now where did I put my gun…..
> [@](#):
>
> I can’t switch loyalties. And there’s no way I’ll be able to root for the team if they do move somewhere else. And I have two decades of evidence that strongly suggests that they’re NEVER GOING TO BE GOOD EVER. So apparently I’m doomed to either be a fan of a shitty team for all eternity, or to watch my team turn into the Los Angeles ClusterFuckers and become one of those soulless wretches wandering the NFL landscape, meandering from game to game and team to team, offering vacuous statements like “I just like the NFL, you see” and “I don’t really have a team.”
> [@](#):
>
> I don’t really know what to say. I don’t have the energy to fight it anymore. It fucking sucks to be a Bills fan. Fuck you Ralph Wilson. Seriously. Fuck you. You are the biggest piece of shit cunt owner in football. GET US A REAL FUCKING COACH, NOT SOME WASHED UP COCKSUCKER LIKE CHAN FUCKING GAILEY.
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### Author:  [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2010, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645/17 "2010-01-20T17:08:16Z")
And it’s Wikipedia vandalism time.
[From a now-reverted edit](http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Chan_Gailey&oldid=338836166):
> [@](#):
>
> He was introduced as the 15th head coach of the Buffalo Bills on January 19th, 2010, becoming their fifth head coach in 10 years. And if he fucks this up no one will be surprised.
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2010, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645/18 "2010-01-20T17:15:07Z")
Is that not a fact, or is it just not properly sourced?
I’m not saying they had no other options, just that they clearly got turned down a bunch of times (I don’t know if Marty Schottenheimer was an option, but his _son_ said no, and he’s never even been a head coach). I’d prefer they went with a young coach with something to prove rather than an older one.
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### Author:  [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2010, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645/19 "2010-01-20T17:15:44Z")
[Also](http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Chan_Gailey&oldid=338800789):
> [@](#):
>
> Thomas Chandler Gailey, Jr. (born January 5, 1952, in Gainesville, Georgia) is an American football coach for the disastourous Buffalo Bills. Bills Owner Ralph Wilson has said the hiring of Gailey will guarantee at least 4 wins next year and the fans will buy tickets no matter what because they’re all stupid.
Sports-related wikipedia vandalism is so awesome.
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### Author:  [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2010, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffalo-bills-inexplicably-hire-chan-gailey-as-head-coach/525645/20 "2010-01-20T17:16:10Z")
It’s funny because it’s not my team. 😃
(we went through this when Mariucci was fired)
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