# Buffy to get nekkid: Celebrity nudity pool for the next **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 26, 2006, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024 "2006-07-26T00:13:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024/81 "2006-07-27T17:47:56Z")
Yeah, that does tend to make one moist, doesn’t it. Though most people hate it, I **loved** _Lost In Translation_. Even my wife had a non-sexual crush on Scarlet after seeing that. Later I found out she was 17 when they filmed it. So I guess that makes me a quasi-perv of sorts. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024/82 "2006-07-27T17:51:32Z")
[QUOTE=Loopydude] Yeah, that does tend to make one moist, doesn’t it. Though most people hate it, I **loved** _Lost In Translation_. Even my wife had a non-sexual crush on Scarlet after seeing that. Later I found out she was 17 when they filmed it. So I guess that makes me a quasi-perv of sorts. [/QUOTE] Oh, piffle. There is nothing remotely unnatural about an adult heterosexual male being sexual attracted to a sexually mature female who happens to be 17. (Though I don’t see the big deal about ms. Johansen). There may be valid legal and even ethical reasons not to follow up on such attractions, but pretending they’re irrational and evil is just stupid. (Which is not to say that I will not kill anyone who tries to sleep with my soon-to-be-15-year-old niece, whom even I can see is an incipient hottie. Touch HER and die.) ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024/83 "2006-07-27T18:02:04Z")
Well, it’s hard not to self-stigmatize when the jailbait factor rears its ugly head. I would agree that she very convincingly portrayed a recent college grad (I was astonished by her real age, actually, given her poise in _LiT_), and I’ve no guilt at all about lusting after her _character_. It’s just the irrational jailbait thing. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024/84 "2006-07-27T18:05:49Z")
I’ll be in ma’ bunk. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024/85 "2006-07-27T18:58:26Z")
In response to some posts requesting clarification, I present a proposal for the Doper rules for a nude celebrity pool: There shall be two categories, one for nudity announcements and one for actual nude appearances. Regarding nudity announcements: a nudity announcement will be accepted at face value if it is made by an eligible celebrity. An eligible celebrity is someone who is famous for any reason other than doing things in the nude. Thus, an announcement by Jenna Jameson or Danni Ashe that she will now consider appearing nude, however interesting from a mental health standpoint, is not going to count, because we’ve already seen every last square micrometer of their exteriors and some portions of their interiors. To be an eligible celebrity, you have to have not appeared nude before a camera. This does not count the “nipple slip” variety of nudity so beloved of the international tabloid press. It has to be actual nudity. Nudity shall consist of two kinds, for women: topless and full. For topless, just the breasts shall count, but the nipples have to be fully visible, and not just some shadow at the edge of a blouse. We’re talking hangin’ out there, innie or outie, count the bumps in her aereoles visible. Full nudity shall involve visibility of the bush or that which it conceals. And by “the bush” we mean the whole bush, not just a few pubic hairs or a bit of landing strip peeking out of the top of a set of low riders. Of course, there’s also the question of what do you call it when a thong is overwhelmed by the labia beneath it and portions of the outer labia become visible, bunched up on either side of it. This is indeed a conundrum for the ages. For now we shall call it nudity, because, come on, it’s LABIA! The butt we shall describe as non-nudity so long as there is some tiny string, however thin, coming up between the buttocks to symbolically cover them. Buttocks seen from the side are not nudity. Buttocks seen from the front are better left unseen. If the buttocks are seen full on from the rear and there is absolutely nothing covering them, then we shall grudgingly declare it nudity of a sort. As for male nudity, only Mr. Bobbler and the Bobbly Boys shall qualify along with the butt nudity as described above. These rules shall apply everywhere applicable by law except Tennessee, where, let’s face it, they haven’t figured out evolution yet, so we need to give them some more time to get with the program. If one predicts celebrity nudity, one shall be entitled to all the wealth, fame and acclaim that one is entitled to by right of being right about something on an internet message board. An halcyonic achievement, indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Cerowyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Cerowyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerowyn)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024/86 "2006-07-27T19:43:45Z")
[QUOTE=Lord Ashtar] I would love LOVE **LOVE** to see to see Jessica Alba nude, but that’ll probably never happen. [/QUOTE] She’s topless in The Sleeping Dictionary – that should get you started. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024/87 "2006-07-27T19:53:43Z")
[QUOTE=Cerowyn] She’s topless in The Sleeping Dictionary – that should get you started. [/QUOTE] Body double. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024/88 "2006-07-27T20:03:24Z")
Despite the body double, a thorough examination of Jessica Alba reveals she does, indeed, have a perfect body. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024/89 "2006-07-27T20:04:20Z")
[QUOTE=Alessan] Body double. [/QUOTE] I just wanted to say, I feel thath is so wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024/90 "2006-07-27T20:38:48Z")
[QUOTE=saoirse] I just wanted to say, I feel thath is so wrong. [/QUOTE] Don’t you mean to say, “That ith tho wrong.”? ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024/91 "2006-07-27T20:38:58Z")
[QUOTE=saoirse] I just wanted to say, I feel thath is so wrong. [/QUOTE] Don’t you mean to say, “Thath ith tho wrong.”? ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024/92 "2006-07-27T21:55:45Z")
[QUOTE=sturmhauke] I thought Paris inflicted herself on the world because of a sex video “accidentally” leaked on the Internet. Anyway, I don’t get the appeal. I could throw a dart at a map, go to that location, and find several hotter women than Paris in 15 minutes or less. I actually find her moderately repulsive. [/QUOTE] Actually, I screwed that up. Paris Hilton said last week that she is the iconic American blonde of this DECADE, not this century. I’ve heard about the sex tape, but I refuse to pay to watch bad video of people fucking – if I’m gonna’ pay for porn, she has to open to the camera and I wanna’ see a pearl necklace. And if I want to be flashed by a beautiful woman, my wife is more than happy to oblige. I think the Paris attraction is that she’s made a big deal out of not posing – kinda’ given the impression that it’s beneath her to just display her nakedness for everyone to jack off over. I guess I’d like to open a Penthouse and discover that, no, it’s not really beneath her – in fact, that’s about all she’s good for, is to lust after. Whoa, shit, that got a little dark there toward the end, didn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Othersider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/cab0a1/32.png) [@Othersider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Othersider)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024/93 "2006-07-28T02:35:51Z")
[QUOTE=Sunrazor] Actually, I screwed that up. Paris Hilton said last week that she is the iconic American blonde of this DECADE, not this century. [/QUOTE] Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024/94 "2006-07-28T13:52:08Z")
[QUOTE=Lord Ashtar] I would love LOVE **LOVE** to see to see Jessica Alba nude, but that’ll probably never happen. [/QUOTE] Oh, hey…me, too! But Jessica Alba is so hot, you don’t HAVE to see her nude! Of course, you know that someone has…just not US…and that hurts. [Emma Watson](http://images.google.com/images?q=emma+watson&svnum=10&hl=en&lr=&client=opera&rls=en&start=21&sa=N) (Hermione Granger from the “Harry Potter” films). And [Emma Roberts](http://images.google.com/images?client=opera&rls=en&q=emma%20roberts&sourceid=opera&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi) (neice of Julia Roberts). Oh, sorry…I thought this was a wish list. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024/95 "2006-07-28T14:20:29Z")
[QUOTE=Sunrazor] Actually, I screwed that up. Paris Hilton said last week that she is the iconic American blonde of this DECADE, not this century. [/quote] Ssssuuurrreeee she did. You expect us to believe that _Paris Hilton_ knows the meaning of the word “iconic”? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024/96 "2006-07-28T15:03:59Z")
[QUOTE=Dijon Warlock] [Emma Watson](http://images.google.com/images?q=emma+watson&svnum=10&hl=en&lr=&client=opera&rls=en&start=21&sa=N) (Hermione Granger from the “Harry Potter” films). [/QUOTE] I just saw a CNN headline “Potter star to appear nude”. Unfortunately it is Daniel Radcliffe, who will be revealing his “wand” in Equus on the London stage. ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024/97 "2006-07-28T16:52:55Z")
What about Claire Danes? We haven’t seen much of her, especially lately. A nude spread would give her some exposure. Stop me before I pun again. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2006, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024/98 "2006-07-29T17:28:56Z")
[QUOTE=Loopydude] Well, it’s hard not to self-stigmatize when the jailbait factor rears its ugly head. [/quote] Huh-huh-huh…you said “hard”. > [@](#): > > It’s just the irrational jailbait thing. Irrational is right. “Jailbait” is an artificial construct. To perceive it as some immutable principle of the Universe is irrational, at the very least. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2006, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024/99 "2006-07-29T19:03:54Z")
[QUOTE=Evil Captor] Actress Sarah Gellar has announced that she is interested in doing roles in which her breasts are clearly visible, thus deeply disturbing all viewers since nudity does that. [/quote] _Waitaminute_–since when does SMG have boobies? Didn’t she starve them off around Buffy season 3? I am so going to hell. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2006, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024/100 "2006-07-29T19:49:26Z")
[QUOTE=Seymour Gams] [Kirsten Dunst naked AND wet!](http://www.bc.edu/bc_org/svp/st_org/swing/The%20Lindy%20Mop.jpg) [/QUOTE] :mad: :dubious: Sir, that was insulting to Kirsten (and painfully disappointing to me)! We must meet on the field of honour. Bring your sword. (I’ll bring my Uzi.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-to-get-nekkid-celebrity-nudity-pool-for-the-next/366024.md?page=6)