# Buffy vs. Tarzan **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 23, 2010, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-vs-tarzan/554726 "2010-09-23T02:30:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Omi\_no\_Kami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Omi\_no\_Kami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omi_no_Kami)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2010, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-vs-tarzan/554726/61 "2010-09-25T20:42:09Z")
> [@The\_Man\_In\_Black](#): > > I still hate that episode. SPOILER: She dusted him at the end, and he reformed. She dusted him again and as he was reforming, she told him she can to this all day or something, and he gave up. Does not make any since with the rest of the show. That is probably the only episode which comes after season 2’s Halloween which I completely dislike. The only things that come close to making it watchable were Xander as a ghoul, and the last 15 seconds of the episode. ---
**Author:** ![Enuma\_Elish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5e9695/32.png) [@Enuma\_Elish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enuma_Elish)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2010, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-vs-tarzan/554726/62 "2010-09-26T02:11:16Z")
I think I may have read somewhere once that Tarzan has the power of “Tickle Finger”. Yeah yeah that’s the ticket! So Buffy wouldn’t stand a chance against him, and Faith … well … once she had a good look at him, wouldn’t be interested in fighting him at all! I love Faith, but she’s kinda slutty 😉 Angel and Tarzan would just end up comparing their ability to communicate with animals. Wesley would just keep bugging Tarzan for tips on the whereabouts of ancient ruins he once read about until Tarzan got bored and vined away. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2010, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-vs-tarzan/554726/63 "2010-09-26T13:27:34Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > Tarzan has an almost insurmountable handicap when facing someone like Buffy. The handicap is his penis. Tarzan simply cannot stand up to the girl power might of Buffy. Based on no evidence whatsodamnever, I am confident in saying that Buffy is too skinny for his taste. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-vs-tarzan/554726/64 "2010-09-27T13:31:15Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > [@Odesio](#): > > > > Tarzan has an almost insurmountable handicap when facing someone like Buffy. The handicap is his penis. Tarzan simply cannot stand up to the girl power might of Buffy. > > Based on no evidence whatsodamnever, I am confident in saying that Buffy is too skinny for his taste. Possibly not hairy enough as well. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-vs-tarzan/554726/65 "2010-09-27T13:49:21Z")
Those of you saying that it’d be Tarzan winning, have you ever even seen Buffy? Killing a lion (or tiger) would only be part of the storyline because she felt bad about killing an animal - the slayage itself would take 2 seconds. In one single fight she killed hundreds of vampires, and they’re much stronger and smarter than any lion or tiger. ---
**Author:** ![ChordedZither](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9c0ed/32.png) [@ChordedZither](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChordedZither)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-vs-tarzan/554726/66 "2010-09-27T17:02:44Z")
[quote=“Skald\_the\_Rhymer, post:47, topic:554726”] > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Wesley would certainly shoot Tarzan, Still not an obvious win. In the first couple of books, at least, Tarzan had no compunction against firing poison arrows from ambush. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-vs-tarzan/554726/67 "2010-09-27T17:56:02Z")
> [@N9IWP](#): > > Buffy would lose the 1st fight but survive. Then she would deal with other stuff (Dawn getting in trouble in school or something) and would win handily when she met Tarzan the second time. > > Brian Are you kidding? Tarzan would be one of the common vampires she fights in the cemetery just to keep in shape for when the real threat comes. You know, she’ll turn her back to Tarzan and casually continue her argument with Giles, then as Tarzan is about to make his last stand, she’ll stake him without looking. ---
**Author:** ![maladroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@maladroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maladroit)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-vs-tarzan/554726/68 "2010-09-27T18:19:00Z")
> [@Love\_Rhombus](#): > > Buffy would be hesitant about killing Tarzan, since he’s a pure human. Him, not so hesitant. You can’t hesitate in the jungle, or you die. He might be able to take her, but if his first attack isn’t a brutally fatal one, he loses to her powers. OP only mentions a fist fight, not fight to the death, so I think Buffy would win. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buffy-vs-tarzan/554726.md?page=3)