# Build The Great Conspiracy **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 13, 2001, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828 "2001-04-13T12:57:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/241 "2001-06-27T01:30:43Z")
…the Vogon constructor fleet,which at this very moment… ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/242 "2001-06-27T01:37:55Z")
…writing an epic poem on the virtues of… ---
**Author:** ![\_Uigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/e9a140/32.png) [@\_Uigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Uigi)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/243 "2001-06-27T02:20:47Z")
…the shut down of the slave market in West Virginia… ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/244 "2001-06-27T03:58:47Z")
…which will bring the production of dried apple headed dolls to a screeching halt, there by accomplishing… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/245 "2001-06-27T11:57:11Z")
…the last preparatory phase of the Post Office’s plan to attack UPS & Fed Ex with Giant Atomic Lawn Darts. The resulting chaos will cripple these firms, lead to an upsurge in the sale of Andy Williams records, and… ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/246 "2001-06-27T12:06:38Z")
… the eventual triumph of the **Publisher’s Clearing House**!! _VIVA LA REVOLUTION_!! After the Earth is sufused with **PCH** junk-mail, the grays will proceed with their plan to… ---
**Author:** ![Gartog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/22d042/32.png) [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/247 "2001-06-27T13:09:23Z")
. . . take down the 12 secret rulers of the World replacing them with an Artificial un-intelligence known as . . ---
**Author:** ![RiverRunner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/977dab/32.png) [@RiverRunner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiverRunner)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/248 "2001-06-27T14:25:07Z")
The Great Karnak, played by Johnny Carson and revealed to be the love child of Cher and . . . ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/249 "2001-06-27T15:50:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RiverRunner \* > \*\*The Great Karnak, played by Johnny Carson and revealed to be the love child of Cher and . . . \*\* Bigfoot, whose crack-cocaine induced frenzy with an electric nail gun resulted in the perforation of James Arness of _Gunsmoke_, who was, in reality… ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/250 "2001-06-27T16:11:45Z")
jerry mathers…who, as we all know, was deeply involved in the creation of… ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/251 "2001-06-27T17:17:10Z")
…the animatronic George W Bush. Meanwhile, back in Area 51, the _real_ Al Gore (not the animatronic one that we’ve seen on TV) is secretly plotting his revenge, which involves… ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/252 "2001-06-27T18:24:16Z")
…Large quantities of beer and economic data. Drunken financial analysts… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/253 "2001-06-27T19:01:11Z")
…emboldened by the incessant pronouncements of Alan Greenspan, declare the Worldwide Peoples’ Capitalist Republic, and furiously denounce the ‘democratic obstructionism’ of governments. In the confusion, an agent of the True Hacker Underground steals the main fuses from all of the members of the SEC, revealing them to be animatronic robots. “President” Bush… ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/254 "2001-06-27T20:39:13Z")
…went in for a major overhaul after it was revealed by Cecil Adams that “he” is the [stupidest President in history.](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/010622.html) However, the overhaul failed because… ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/255 "2001-06-27T20:56:22Z")
…Redmondian Anamatronics Engineers accidentally replaced OEM Corporate-sanctioned parts with generic GPL parts. This allowed the Open-Source underground to… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/256 "2001-06-27T21:18:20Z")
…engineer a political defection and greatly advance the cause of the Upstart Forty-Two. (fnord) Meanwhile, the CIA-implanted cetaceans in Mexico are in peril due to the incompetence of their… ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/257 "2001-06-27T23:07:52Z")
…Greenpeace Generalissimo Pablo (Paco) Jimenez, who, while in a pot-induced frenzy, commandeered a Schwinn and pedaled about the countryside, declaring… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/258 "2001-06-28T00:54:52Z")
…that ‘anything else would be different!’ while distributing little tracts labeled ‘Please Clean Up This Planet Or We’ll Be Really Disappointed’ on one side and ‘Jesus saves, but Moses makes incremental backups!’ on the other. The masses, revolted by this confusion of their hopes and dreams, moved instead toward the Free-Range Libertarian School of Thought, completely unaware that they were simply abandoning one tentacle of the Great Conspiracy for another. And indeed it came to pass. For, foolishly believing that the ‘cathode rays’ emitted by their television tubes were _completely harmless_ as advertised, they sank into the over-friendly embrace of their couches, and they watched… ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/259 "2001-06-28T04:39:43Z")
…Seinfeld! And Roseanne! And Wheel Of Fortune! (All [sub]TM[/sub] And the Lords of Hollywood saw that thier coffers fill to over flowing, and they rubbed their scaly claws with glee, for they were, in fact… ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/260 "2001-06-28T04:45:32Z")
…Fond of screwing-up posts and failing to preview. But additionaly, and more frightening, they were… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828.md?page=14)