# Build The Great Conspiracy **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 13, 2001, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828 "2001-04-13T12:57:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![PlanMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2bfe46/32.png) [@PlanMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlanMan)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/261 "2001-07-02T00:47:43Z")
responding to the puppet masters, whose unholy plan to wipe out everyone’s memory of anything that took place more than 90 days ago … late bulletin … more than 2 years ago, which was just the third step in the sinister seven step plot. The seventh step is too horrible for (human) words, but it was recently discovered that step four … ---
**Author:** ![plasticbryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6a8cbe/32.png) [@plasticbryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plasticbryan)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/262 "2001-07-12T17:43:35Z")
The combination of Cal Ripken, **Jr.** hitting a home run in his final All-Star Game appearance, and Dale Earnhart, **Jr.** winning a NASCAR race where his father had died earlier in the year. Many people point out the the All-Star Game took place in the city of Seattle, which is just outside of the town of Redmond, which… ---
**Author:** ![JustAskAnyone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JustAskAnyone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAskAnyone)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/263 "2001-07-13T02:01:02Z")
…is run entirely by cyborgs built by bill gates, and operating on the operating system made by… ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/264 "2001-07-13T02:08:13Z")
…lurkers of the SDMB, who run a secret underground drug ring in the small Mexican town of Miguel Aleman, where the residents lock their doors after sundown in fear of the infamous… ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/265 "2001-07-13T02:42:01Z")
…Avon ladies, who come out at night armed with various lotions and perfumes to ‘improve your life’ by forcibly… ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/266 "2001-07-13T07:23:23Z")
because Avon and Mary Kay in a plot to take over the world and put every other cosmetics company in the world out of business, by adding mass quantities of a chemical created in area 51 which will give eveyone pimples and an irresistible craving for skin-so-soft and rouge in little pots. This will make it possible for Dubya to be relected in a landslide victory by… ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/267 "2001-07-13T14:57:22Z")
…Acne-scarred victims of the cosmetics industry, when he pledges to support Federal funding of “Zit Wars”, a high-tech plan to have orbiting lasers zap zits on every face (unless you vote wrong…). This results in all-time high numbers of young voters registering as Republicans. The Democrats and Greens derail his grandiose scemes by… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/268 "2001-07-13T15:30:44Z")
…by running television ads declaiming, “Skin cancer is evyone’s problem. Don’t try to cover it up,” and (while showing Photoshopped pictures of Argentinean cows in sunglasses) linking the spread of skin cancer to the spread of the ozone hole to the Trilateral-Commission-oil-indutstry-Republican-led abrogations of the Kyoto Treaty, while saying _absolutely nothing_ about the effects of the chemtrails emitted by the UFOs as they leave their secret bases under the Antarctican icecap… ---
**Author:** ![PlanMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2bfe46/32.png) [@PlanMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlanMan)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/269 "2001-07-18T01:37:02Z")
while they continue to replace Antarctic base scientists with replicants, then have them airlifted out for “medical emergencies,” while they keep the original scientists … [sub]oh, go ahead[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/270 "2001-07-18T02:00:39Z")
…freeze dried in the white house, for continued study into their possibly alien genetic makeup, while the anamatronic George W… ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/271 "2001-07-18T02:09:37Z")
…is secretly consumed with masterminding the takeover of the SDMB by starting several sing-along threads in hope that this will give him a head start on taking over the world. Meanwhile, the United States Postal Service is merely… ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/272 "2001-07-18T02:19:33Z")
…mailing out false staements from the IRS who is actually attempting… ---
**Author:** ![Mobius74](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@Mobius74](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mobius74)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/273 "2001-07-18T02:57:05Z")
using supercomputers to prove that _pi_ and the square root of negative one are actually the SAME number. Once this insidious calculation is complete, income taxes will be dramatically increased in order to fund the… ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/274 "2001-07-18T08:14:03Z")
creation of special “double blank” scrabble tiles, which contain a special microchip in them that is used for… ---
**Author:** ![tavalla](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tavalla/32/89_2.png) [@tavalla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tavalla)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/275 "2001-07-18T09:26:25Z")
…that is used to control the Black Helicopters that will shortly be flying by YOUR home in order to… ---
**Author:** ![Wump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ed655f/32.png) [@Wump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wump)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/276 "2001-07-18T10:38:04Z")
…spy on you while you eat your take-out worm-infested McDonalds hamburgur to see if… ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/277 "2001-07-18T13:12:47Z")
. . . your hambugrer is tainted with either E Bola virus from the raw sewage being pumped into the ocean, or Foot and Mouth disease brought over by the English to start an agricultural war because of our misuse of the . . . ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/278 "2001-07-18T15:34:46Z")
…alien technology given to us (for an undisclosed price) by the Greys. Meanwhile, Britney Spears’ corporate… ---
**Author:** ![Mobius74](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@Mobius74](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mobius74)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/279 "2001-08-20T01:39:39Z")
…maintain that she is \*NOT[/] the love child of Michael Jackson and Barbara Striesand. DNA samples provided for proof of this, however, have been “lost”. Little does the public know that these samples are now in Hitler’s secret Bolivian hideaway where scientists are feverishly combining her DNA with the DNA of an albino llama in order to… ---
**Author:** ![BPBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/59ef9b/32.png) [@BPBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BPBob)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/280 "2001-08-20T12:19:08Z")
provide _Britney Hair_ for mass production from mutant llamas, which would allow the Sony cartel to team up with wigmakers in order to… PS: it was the NSA who forced me to post a duplicate post; their Department of Redundancy Department has placed a secret subliminal message in **ONE** of the two… _AIEEEEEE!!!_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828.md?page=15)