# Build The Great Conspiracy **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 13, 2001, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828 "2001-04-13T12:57:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/281 "2001-08-21T02:55:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BPBob \* > \*\*provide _Britney Hair_ for mass production from mutant llamas, which would allow the Sony cartel to team up with wigmakers in order to… > > * * * Help in next reincarnation of the purest form of true evil known to humankind: Cher, the Britney Spears of the last 35 years. Meanwhile, back in rural Dorset, England, large crop circles have been discovered to have been made by… [sub]what, I can’t be the first to mention crop circles, can I? [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![23skidoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/f04885/32.png) [@23skidoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/23skidoo)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/282 "2001-08-21T04:56:56Z")
…aliens posing as bored, unemployed farm-workers with lots of two-by-fours and even more time on their hands. They were attempting to “cover their tracks” because a few people had actually discovered that… ---
**Author:** ![frock75](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ad7895/32.png) [@frock75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frock75)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/283 "2001-08-21T05:12:29Z")
Ron Jeremy was actually responsible for 96% of all alien anal probes reported to ufologists. This could only lead to… ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/284 "2001-08-21T06:15:07Z")
…mass hysteria as the Ron-Jeremy-loving-Communists rioted against the alien farmers, claiming that JFK Jr. was actually the person who rolled the rock away from Jesus’s tomb in an attempt to… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/285 "2001-08-21T13:36:00Z")
…fatally confound the development of humanity, channelling it into Approved Areas, and boosting the Gullibility Rating to 11. However, this worked too well, and the Greys… ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/286 "2001-08-21T13:41:41Z")
Quickly developed a new advertising campaign, designed to lead our soft and lazy minds into… ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/287 "2001-08-21T17:19:47Z")
…accepting the _real_ Al Gore - the one with the beard - as the next… ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/288 "2001-08-21T17:38:58Z")
…release (AlGore 4.1) from the laboratory of Bill Gates where the mole men are beginning the next phase of… ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/289 "2001-08-21T19:36:10Z")
…the next phase of the Agulear/Speers dominastion of teen boys and simple-minded mid-life-crisis men. The plan involves… ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/290 "2001-08-21T19:38:12Z")
…spelling correctly, which is aided by not trying to type will on the phone with Dell tech support. Tech supports role in this plan is… ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/291 "2001-08-21T19:49:11Z")
…To cause as much confusion, false information, and frustration as possible. This, of course, makes Tech Support the natural sworn enemy of the SDMB, whose members… ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/292 "2001-08-21T19:52:49Z")
…eschew obfiscation… ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/293 "2001-08-21T19:56:31Z")
…and engineer the abduction of **Chronos** , who is not going back to college, but is really… ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/294 "2001-08-21T21:50:47Z")
…withdrawing from society in order to work on the master plan of all evil scientists: To take over the world! Meanwhile, back in the subterranean levels of the Pentagon… ---
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/295 "2001-08-21T22:09:48Z")
… the vending machine is out of Fresca. This so enrages the Joint Chiefs of the Staff that they order an immediate military strike against… ---
**Author:** ![Mobius74](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@Mobius74](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mobius74)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/296 "2001-08-22T01:04:49Z")
… **BARNEY** , who ironicly is an aged and well-disguised Elvis. The strike ordered by the JCS finally puts to rest one long-standing rumor, however, radioactive fallout from the strike spawns a mutant strain of super-intelligent, rabid monkeys who… ---
**Author:** ![PlanMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2bfe46/32.png) [@PlanMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlanMan)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/297 "2001-08-22T01:31:35Z")
control the animatronic George W. Bush, which causes insipent deja vu, while unleashing … ---
**Author:** ![Kbean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Kbean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kbean)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/298 "2001-08-22T01:45:13Z")
droves of savage flesh-eating oranges that implant mind control chips which… ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/299 "2001-08-22T17:40:10Z")
…get people addicted to the internet. Once people are so preoccupied with the internet, the conspiracy is free to… ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/300 "2001-08-24T15:51:16Z")
create new flavors of sodas like pepsi twist and code red mountain dew, the spike them with mind altering drugs just for the fun of it, this will create a market for… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828.md?page=16)