# Build The Great Conspiracy **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 13, 2001, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828 "2001-04-13T12:57:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![Talkinsquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f6c823/32.png) [@Talkinsquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talkinsquirrel)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/321 "2001-09-24T05:30:54Z")
the Institution for the Betterment of Winged Monkeys who felt that this project endangered their plan for the forcible takeover of… ---
**Author:** ![Mobius74](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@Mobius74](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mobius74)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2001, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/322 "2001-09-25T00:15:52Z")
…television’s _Psychic Network_. Meanwhile, deep inside the Rocky mountains, the NORAD computer has hatched a plan to… ---
**Author:** ![atypicalcarl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@atypicalcarl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/atypicalcarl)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2001, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/323 "2001-09-25T00:45:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mobius74 \* > \*\*…television’s _Psychic Network_. Meanwhile, deep inside the Rocky mountains, the NORAD computer has hatched a plan to… \*\* Assimilate Brittney Spears into the collective, along with both of the Bush’s. This is expected to… ---
**Author:** ![Eternal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@Eternal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eternal)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2001, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/324 "2001-09-25T05:06:47Z")
cause a meltdown when Jenna spills Popov into the nuclear reactor. Disaster is averted when… ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2001, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/325 "2001-09-25T05:07:08Z")
…cause sightings of flying ocelots by Uri Gellar, also known as Fred Mertz, to level off pending the activation of… ---
**Author:** ![DiveGirlAZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecc23a/32.png) [@DiveGirlAZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiveGirlAZ)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2001, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/326 "2001-09-25T05:59:17Z")
the Viagra-crazed Bob Dole, who had been hiding in his lair in downtown Topeka with… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2001, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/327 "2001-09-25T13:27:33Z")
…Fred Phelps, Osama bin Laden, Elvis, Jimmy Hoffa, the Spice Girls, the Energizer Bunny, Magilla Gorilla, George Jetson, and the Banana Split Gang… ---
**Author:** ![PlanMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2bfe46/32.png) [@PlanMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlanMan)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2001, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/328 "2001-09-29T18:48:44Z")
… where they are all pilots in the Black Helicopter Squadron, and they left under the dark of the moon to carry out their secret mission of … ---
**Author:** ![Eternal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@Eternal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eternal)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2001, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/329 "2001-09-29T20:55:50Z")
Flying to trailer parks and fertilizing the women there to further their own insidious agenda of… ---
**Author:** ![Mobius74](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@Mobius74](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mobius74)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/330 "2001-10-02T03:44:34Z")
…expanding the Jerry Springer audience exponentially while ensuring an ever-expanding selection of guest-lunatics for the show. Surgical implantation of GPS locators in the skulls of these mindless drones will allow the Springer Consortium to… ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/331 "2001-10-02T14:14:40Z")
…Finally prove that the uncertainty principle applies to Springer Guests. This will open the door for maunufacturing the first thermo-stupidity bomb. When Fred Phelps posts the plans on his website, the World Dental Coalition, in conjunction with Special Agent Lemming of the BDA, decides… ---
**Author:** ![ChordedZither](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9c0ed/32.png) [@ChordedZither](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChordedZither)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/332 "2001-10-05T17:21:13Z")
…to secretly replace the animatronic robot by George W. Bush himself. The replacement is permitted by the rabid monkeys, who can no longer afford the upkeep on the robots because the price of 3-in-1 oil has been inflated due to… ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/333 "2001-10-05T20:03:50Z")
…Price speculation by sewing machine manufacturers. The New Animatronic President (NAP[sup]tm[/sup]), having been built by dentists, looks suspiciously like a young Jimmy Carter. Meanwhile, the _old_ Jimmy Carter was last seen… ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/334 "2001-10-05T22:09:55Z")
…disguising himself as a rabbit and hopping through the Chicago Merchantile Exchange naked while singing ‘Onward Christian Soldiers’ and holding a copy of… ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2001, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/335 "2001-10-10T13:35:59Z")
The Hitchiker’s guide tom the galaxy, which then causes a spontaneous combustion of… ---
**Author:** ![Maruk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ec9cab/32.png) [@Maruk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maruk)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/336 "2001-10-18T10:48:11Z")
… total apathy in the beholding masses. Ironically, … ---
**Author:** ![ChordedZither](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9c0ed/32.png) [@ChordedZither](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChordedZither)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/337 "2001-10-18T19:50:57Z")
…“The Beholding Masses” was the name of a rock group whose latest hit had been… ---
**Author:** ![confessorknight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9a140/32.png) [@confessorknight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/confessorknight)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/338 "2002-04-20T22:40:18Z")
…called “Total Apathy”, actually a propaganda device for the Highgate vampire (an SDMB first) who was seeking to… ---
**Author:** ![confessorknight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9a140/32.png) [@confessorknight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/confessorknight)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/339 "2002-04-20T22:45:08Z")
— I really, really apoligise for this ressurection(?). Ihad been browsing the threadspotting archives and only remembered after i submitted that i wasn’t reading a current thread!— sorry sorry sorry ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@The\_Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tim)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828/340 "2002-04-20T22:45:37Z")
…steal the lost pieces of Tori Amos so he could put on the purple and… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-the-great-conspiracy/61828.md?page=18)