# Build your mate for 5 dollars **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 23, 2015, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982 "2015-07-23T19:20:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982/1 "2015-07-23T19:20:16Z")
Saw this on my Facebook feed and wondered how ya’ll would spend your five bucks? Good looks-- $3 Funny-- $1 Smart-- $1 Great in bed-- $2 Faithful-- $3 Wealthy-- $3 No kids-- $1 Tall-- $1 Great body-- $2 Romantic-- $2 Luckily for me (and I think a great many on this board) my two must haves are only a buck a piece. I got smart and funny. Now to choose between wealth and faithful. Hmmmmm. I choose wealthy. ---
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982/2 "2015-07-23T19:38:38Z")
Huh. This is somewhat of an interesting min-maxing problem. Implicitly, any stats you don’t choose get the NOT version of them, right? So if you pick “good looks, funny, and smart”, you’re also choosing : Terrible in bed. Unfaithful. Poor. Several kids. Short. Terrible body (I guess “good looks” means she has a nice face and looks good clothed but actually has a terrible body when naked). Not romantic. Well… ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982/3 "2015-07-23T19:45:10Z")
Huh. I think I’ll wait until I have more money. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982/4 "2015-07-23T19:46:24Z")
> [@Habeed](#): > > Huh. This is somewhat of an interesting min-maxing problem. Implicitly, any stats you don’t choose get the NOT version of them, right? > > So if you pick “good looks, funny, and smart”, you’re also choosing : > Terrible in bed. Unfaithful. Poor. Several kids. Short. Terrible body (I guess “good looks” means she has a nice face and looks good clothed but actually has a terrible body when naked). Not romantic. > > Well… I didn’t take it that way. I assumed that whatever you didn’t pick would be randomly scattered around the average, not that they would be especially deficient in those traits. In other words, if you don’t choose looks, you will most likely get someone that is a 4,5 or 6 on the 10 point scale. Put me down for the first three: Good looks, funny and smart. Great body seems to be redundant if you pick good looks. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982/5 "2015-07-23T19:50:50Z")
I’ll spend $5 on “No kids.” ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982/6 "2015-07-23T19:54:39Z")
At my current age, I’m going to choose wealthy, funny and smart. When I was younger, good looks and good in bed would have been higher priorities. ---
**Author:** ![Doyle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doyle/32/439_2.png) [@Doyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doyle)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982/7 "2015-07-23T19:59:31Z")
Faithful-- $3 Great body-- $2 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982/8 "2015-07-23T20:01:48Z")
Out of curiosity, who came up with the prices? Who decided, for example, that you could get intelligence for a dollar but faithfulness would cost you three dollars? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982/9 "2015-07-23T20:03:20Z")
My wife saw this. I texted her offering her $5 to build me. She texted back asking what to do with the change. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982/10 "2015-07-23T20:12:46Z")
> [@Habeed](#): > > Huh. This is somewhat of an interesting min-maxing problem. Implicitly, any stats you don’t choose get the NOT version of them, right? > > So if you pick “good looks, funny, and smart”, you’re also choosing : > Terrible in bed. Unfaithful. Poor. Several kids. Short. Terrible body (I guess “good looks” means she has a nice face and looks good clothed but actually has a terrible body when naked). Not romantic. I agree with Shagnasty’s interpretation: you’re paying for above average traits. Anything you don’t buy ends up being average. That said, in keeping with min-maxing you should be able to choose below average traits and collect money that you can than spend on other good traits. Choose a mate who’s got body odor and you gain three bucks you can use to pay for good health. Or take a hit in Charisma, bump up their Wisdom stats, and go for a Cleric. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982/11 "2015-07-23T20:19:20Z")
So . . . there’s no way to get good looks and faithful? That’s kinda weird. ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982/12 "2015-07-23T20:22:46Z")
Great body, romantic, and smart. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982/13 "2015-07-23T20:27:51Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Out of curiosity, who came up with the prices? Who decided, for example, that you could get intelligence for a dollar but faithfulness would cost you three dollars? I have no idea. I did play with the notion of adding attributes and upping the budget but didn’t want to throw off any balance. In other words, I was too lazy to think about it much. ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982/14 "2015-07-23T20:28:38Z")
I need to save my pennies. Good looks-- $3 (These are relative. Can I get a discount for “not Quasimodo”?) Funny-- $1 (sold) Smart-- $1 (sold) Great in bed-- $2 (sold) Faithful-- $3 (sold) Wealthy-- $3 (Also relative, but sold) No kids-- $1 (sold) Tall-- $1 (sold) Great body-- $2 (Also relative. I’d like a discount for “in decent shape”) The only one I knocked off the list was Romantic, because…eh. Who cares, as long as he’s someone who knows how to express his feelings. Shockingly, I’m single. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982/15 "2015-07-23T20:32:49Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Funny-- $1 > Wealthy-- $3 > No kids-- $1 With the middle one, I can then go out and buy any of the others, which is why “smart” isn’t picked. 🆒 😃 ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982/16 "2015-07-23T20:43:55Z")
$5? You get what you pay for. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982/17 "2015-07-23T20:46:17Z")
My fiancée is worth $14 assuming she isn’t “wealthy.” Good job tho, so let’s say $15.50. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982/18 "2015-07-23T20:56:39Z")
I’m worth 9 dollars according to that list, why do i have to settle for a 5? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982/19 "2015-07-23T21:16:36Z")
I know I shouldn’t fight the hypothetical, but after my current situation of dealing with a long-term ill spouse who (still) refuses to help himself in almost every way, the attribute I’d want most isn’t listed: gumption. Or maybe dedication. I dunno, but I’d be willing to spend all of my $5 and not give a shit about looks or wealth or any of that if only I’d have been paired with someone willing to fight for their life and not be a total dick in the process. Sorry to be Debbie Downer. It’s another bad day in the fool household. ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982/20 "2015-07-23T22:17:00Z")
Interesting that “nice” isn’t even on the list. Perhaps that means you can’t get it for any price, or perhaps people don’t think it’s worth anything at all … [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-mate-for-5-dollars/725982.md?page=2)