# Build Your Own 2010 GOP Contract With America! **URL:** \ **Category:** Politics & Elections\ **Created:** [June 6, 2010, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164 "2010-06-06T14:28:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164/41 "2010-06-08T02:22:42Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > This country needs to move away from oil as a means of providing energy/transportation. Period. Somehow I don’t see that making it onto the Pubs’ platform . . . nor the Dems’, either. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164/42 "2010-06-08T02:37:58Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Somehow I don’t see that making it onto the Pubs’ platform . . . nor the Dems’, either. You’ll get some lip-service form the Dems; that’s about it. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164/43 "2010-06-08T04:37:55Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > This “isolated incident” is merely the worst environmental disaster this country has ever faced, _by far_, and is going to harm the economies of every single gulf coast state. It’s could end up the worst environmental disaster the world has faced, depending on how one defines environmental disaster. I’m guessing our fair haired boy doesn’t live anywhere near the Gulf of Mexico, eat seafood, or vacation at the beach in the Eastern half of the United States. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164/44 "2010-06-08T05:40:18Z")
> [@](#): > > 9 you mean necessary due to the policies of Bush. I don’t think anyone in the GOP gives a damn about building infrastructure in Afghanistan. No, **Curtis** is right. It wouldn’t be possible to withdraw from Iraq if we had never gone there in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164/45 "2010-06-08T19:55:33Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > If I had to write one, it would go like this: > > 1- We will propose an alternative to the Obama health care plan that will provide more coverage to more people for less money. > > 2- We will abide by the findings of a bi-partisan committee for ways to balance the budget in the next four years. > > 3- We will seal the Mexican border and work with Democrats to enact sensible immigration reform. > > 4- We will use the military sensibly to protect legitimate American interests only. > > 5- We will restore NASA to the forefront of manned space exploration. Fuck #5. Let NASA go hang. Those bastards are the reason we don’t have a working space station right now. In the interests of all Americans, space exploitation should be in the hands of private enterprise. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164/46 "2010-06-08T22:04:10Z")
> [@](#): > > In the interests of all Americans, space exploitation should be in the hands of private enterprise. Nothing’s stopping them. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164/47 "2010-06-09T00:35:25Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > 1 Are you kidding? The base will not support increased taxes on ANYBODY. Its not increasing on anyone, its shuffling the taxes. > [@](#): > > 2 The business base doesn’t want anyone regulated Most businessmen are not laissez-faire all the way. At worst they are Reaganomic type minimal regulationists. > [@](#): > > 7 Hardy har har. Like the teabaggers are going to get behind that one. If a respected Republican proposed it, it might work. > [@](#): > > 9 you mean necessary due to the policies of Bush. I don’t think anyone in the GOP gives a damn about building infrastructure in Afghanistan. They do care about winning in Afghanistan which will be acheived through building infrastructure. > [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Somehow I don’t see that making it onto the Pubs’ platform . . . nor the Dems’, either. How about nuclear power. As to the Gulf disaster much of the oil we get cause oil spills in places like Nigeria-you’re just shifting the disaster somewhere else. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164/48 "2010-06-09T11:56:59Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Fuck #5. Let NASA go hang. Those bastards are the reason we don’t have a working space station right now. In the interests of all Americans, space exploitation should be in the hands of private enterprise. The ISS isn’t working? News to me. I’m quite skeptical of the ability of private enterprise to handle manned spaceflight. I’ll believe it when I see it (yes, I know about SpaceShipOne. I was more impressed with Mercury). ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164/49 "2010-06-09T13:08:00Z")
As Chronos pointed out, there’s nothing preventing private companies from having a space program. But the reality is that all significant developments in space travel have been government operations. So the evidence is that turning over space exploration to the private sector would mean the end of space exploration. ---
**Author:** ![qazwart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/5fc32e/32.png) [@qazwart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/qazwart)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164/50 "2010-06-09T22:38:53Z")
**The Republican Contract with America** 1). We promise to help support the Family and push to make sure that marriage is between one man and one woman. 2). Except in certain parts of Utah which are heavily Republican. In that case, it’s between a man and a woman, and a woman, and a woman, and a woman… 3). We will stand firmly against the Homosexual agenda, and will refuse to have any more homosexual affairs. 4). Unless that guy is helping us with our luggage, or we’re making a quick bathroom stop. 5). We will support the free enterprise system and believe that the government shouldn’t be giving out our hard earned tax dollars to anyone. People should stand on their own two feet. 6). Unless you’re a farmer of a heavily Republican state which in this case we’ll make sure that the government gives you plenty of dough. 7). And use price supports instead of depending upon the free market to set prices on crops. 8). Oh yes, if you run a really big business, we’ll make sure you get special tax breaks too. Just keep those contributions coming. 9). We respect anyone who is willing to roll up their sleeves and put in a full day’s work. 10). Unless your name is Juan and you snuck in here illegally. Then you should stay out. 11). Unless you know anything about gardening. My last gardener was deported. (Stupid government interference in the affairs of private citizens.) 12). We believe in the little guy. The guy who makes a simple middle class salary of $350,000 per year and lives in a seven bedroom house in the suburbs. The small businessman who runs the business with 400+ employees. The banker who gave me that job on the corporate board of directors and a half million dollar salary. The business owner who lets me use his private jet for free. The multimillionaire who lets me stay in his summer home in the Bahamas when I needed some private time with my family, well my secretary, but my family was on my mind the whole time. 13). We believe… Look this isn’t working. Is it? Let’s just move to Plan B: Look a terrorist! The Democrats are socialists! They’re going to take away your guns! The apocalypse is coming and the President is the anti-Christ! Vote for me, or the world will end! ARRGGHHH! Don’t think! Be scared! ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164/51 "2010-06-10T01:03:25Z")
Nice, **qazwart**! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164/52 "2010-06-10T01:08:07Z")
> [@qazwart](#): > > **The Republican Contract with America** > > 1). We promise to help support the Family and push to make sure that marriage is between one man and one woman. > > 2). Except in certain parts of Utah which are heavily Republican. In that case, it’s between a man and a woman, and a woman, and a woman, and a woman… > > 3). We will stand firmly against the Homosexual agenda, and will refuse to have any more homosexual affairs. > > 4). Unless that guy is helping us with our luggage, or we’re making a quick bathroom stop. > > 5). We will support the free enterprise system and believe that the government shouldn’t be giving out our hard earned tax dollars to anyone. People should stand on their own two feet. > > 6). Unless you’re a farmer of a heavily Republican state which in this case we’ll make sure that the government gives you plenty of dough. > > 7). And use price supports instead of depending upon the free market to set prices on crops. > > 8). Oh yes, if you run a really big business, we’ll make sure you get special tax breaks too. Just keep those contributions coming. > > 9). We respect anyone who is willing to roll up their sleeves and put in a full day’s work. > > 10). Unless your name is Juan and you snuck in here illegally. Then you should stay out. > > 11). Unless you know anything about gardening. My last gardener was deported. (Stupid government interference in the affairs of private citizens.) > > 12). We believe in the little guy. The guy who makes a simple middle class salary of $350,000 per year and lives in a seven bedroom house in the suburbs. The small businessman who runs the business with 400+ employees. The banker who gave me that job on the corporate board of directors and a half million dollar salary. The business owner who lets me use his private jet for free. The multimillionaire who lets me stay in his summer home in the Bahamas when I needed some private time with my family, well my secretary, but my family was on my mind the whole time. > > 13). We believe… Look this isn’t working. Is it? > > Let’s just move to Plan B: Look a terrorist! The Democrats are socialists! They’re going to take away your guns! The apocalypse is coming and the President is the anti-Christ! Vote for me, or the world will end! ARRGGHHH! Don’t think! Be scared! Reported for trolling. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164/53 "2010-06-10T01:18:14Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > Reported for trolling. Most site admins take a very dim view of frivolous complaints. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164/54 "2010-06-10T01:38:22Z")
> [@Steve\_MB](#): > > Most site admins take a very dim view of frivolous complaints. It pretty much is considering 1) its a LONG post rather than one-liner and 2) this was largely supposed to be a serious thread. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164/55 "2010-06-10T02:15:31Z")
> [@](#): > > It pretty much is considering 1) its a LONG post rather than one-liner and 2) this was largely supposed to be a serious thread. It may be satirical but it’s not trolling. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164/56 "2010-06-10T10:36:11Z")
Definitely not trolling. Rather amusing, actually. Methinks he struck a nerve. ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164/57 "2010-06-10T11:26:54Z")
> [@qazwart](#): > > **The Republican Contract with America** > > 1). We promise to help support the Family and push to make sure that marriage is between one man and one woman. > > 2). Except in certain parts of Utah which are heavily Republican. In that case, it’s between a man and a woman, and a woman, and a woman, and a woman… > > 3). We will stand firmly against the Homosexual agenda, and will refuse to have any more homosexual affairs. > > 4). Unless that guy is helping us with our luggage, or we’re making a quick bathroom stop. > > 5). We will support the free enterprise system and believe that the government shouldn’t be giving out our hard earned tax dollars to anyone. People should stand on their own two feet. > > 6). Unless you’re a farmer of a heavily Republican state which in this case we’ll make sure that the government gives you plenty of dough. > > 7). And use price supports instead of depending upon the free market to set prices on crops. > > 8). Oh yes, if you run a really big business, we’ll make sure you get special tax breaks too. Just keep those contributions coming. > > 9). We respect anyone who is willing to roll up their sleeves and put in a full day’s work. > > 10). Unless your name is Juan and you snuck in here illegally. Then you should stay out. > > 11). Unless you know anything about gardening. My last gardener was deported. (Stupid government interference in the affairs of private citizens.) > > 12). We believe in the little guy. The guy who makes a simple middle class salary of $350,000 per year and lives in a seven bedroom house in the suburbs. The small businessman who runs the business with 400+ employees. The banker who gave me that job on the corporate board of directors and a half million dollar salary. The business owner who lets me use his private jet for free. The multimillionaire who lets me stay in his summer home in the Bahamas when I needed some private time with my family, well my secretary, but my family was on my mind the whole time. > > 13). We believe… Look this isn’t working. Is it? > > Let’s just move to Plan B: Look a terrorist! The Democrats are socialists! They’re going to take away your guns! The apocalypse is coming and the President is the anti-Christ! Vote for me, or the world will end! ARRGGHHH! Don’t think! Be scared! Great post! You did neglect the GOP solution to unemployment: more tax breaks for corporations that move jobs overseas. OP’s probably getting annoyed with suggestions that seem non-serious, but it’s the idea of a “rational” Republican platform that is just plain silly. GOP doesn’t want black or Hispanic voters, obviously, but it really doesn’t care for rational thinkers either. Mark Twain hit the nail on the head about GOP strategy: [QUOTE=Huckleberry Finn;] Hain’t we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain’t that a big enough majority in any town? [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164/58 "2010-06-10T15:12:02Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > Reported for trolling. It’s not trolling. And **Curtis LeMay** , if you report a post, just report it and let the mods handle it. Do not announce “reported for trolling;” at best it comes off as tattling and at worst it’s a deliberate provocation. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164/59 "2010-06-10T23:21:17Z")
> [@septimus](#): > > Great post! You did neglect the GOP solution to unemployment: more tax breaks for corporations that move jobs overseas. > > OP’s probably getting annoyed with suggestions that seem non-serious, but it’s the idea of a “rational” Republican platform that is just plain silly. \*\* GOP doesn’t want black or Hispanic voters, obviously, but it really doesn’t care for rational thinkers either.\*\* Mark Twain hit the nail on the head about GOP strategy: That’s nonsense and you know it. ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164/60 "2010-06-11T07:14:48Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > > [@septimus](#): > > > > GOP doesn’t … doesn’t care for rational thinkers either. Mark Twain hit the nail on the head about GOP strategy: > > [QUOTE=Huckleberry Finn] > > > > Hain’t we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain’t that a big enough majority in any town? That’s nonsense and you know it. [/QUOTE] I’ve no problem with intelligent “conservative” thinking, however rare it may be. _ **I disapprove of the way the present Republican Party practices national politics** _. What principles would _I_ like to see Republicans endorse? How about, for starters: 1. I declare that Barack Obama was born in the U.S.A. 2. I denounce any and every public figure who pretends to believe that Barack Obama might not have been born in the U.S.A. 3. I am saddened that lying clowns like Beck and Limbaugh have much success influencing gullible voters. 4. I agree that a President describing himself as a “Unifier” should not choose federal judges using the criterion that getting more than 51 Senators in support implies the nominee was too moderate. 5. I thank the Obama Administration for recognizing the severity of the present credit and employment crisis and pursuing fiscal stimulus. There’s more, but let’s start with these. Can you _unequivocally_ endorse these statements, **Curtis**? If so, I’ll give attention to your political views. If not, I’ll just treat you as part of the problem. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/build-your-own-2010-gop-contract-with-america/542164.md?page=4)