# Bullied Grandmother...really? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 21, 2012, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854 "2012-06-21T16:26:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2012, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/181 "2012-06-30T17:08:02Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > Sometimes. It depends on the district and the specific situation. Thanks. So how good or bad are these alternative schools? ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2012, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/182 "2012-06-30T23:15:13Z")
Not a bad solution. If they were removed from education completely it’d be pointless, since they’d be both ignorant and unempathetic - a dangerous combination in a democracy. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2012, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/183 "2012-06-30T23:39:38Z")
I think the parents should be allowed to choose between the year of alternative school, what’s behind Curtain Number 2, and what’s in the box. One contains a complete pardon and $5,000 in Kohl’s cash. The other… doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/184 "2012-07-01T00:02:50Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > Of course, I would say it’s harassment. I thought I made that clear. My point is that harassing an authority figure is not “bullying”. She was an authority figure. She lost control of the situation, true, but she _is still the authority figure_. Yelling at an authority figure, no matter how off the chain and how vicious the insults, is not “bullying”. She was a person _in authority_. > > Why is that so hard for people to understand? Because it’s false. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/185 "2012-07-01T00:19:46Z")
> [@clairobscur](#): > > I never understood that concept. Forced apologies are worthless. An apology has value only if the person (child or adult) really feels sorry. It might happen, of course, that the kid feels really sorry after some good talking to, but in most cases, he’s going to feel sorry mostly for having been caught and being punished. It’s not supposed to be a real apology. It’s a punishment. And a life lesson. You have to learn to apologize even if you aren’t sorry. And it’s a way to make apologizing easier, so you get past the reasons most people don’t apologize even when they are sorry: they have too much pride or are too angry. A parent apologizing does none of that. Making the kid apologize does all that, plus the same thing having the parent apologize does, seeing as the parent is making them do it. And everyone crying about this being unfair: this is the fair solution. How it normally works is what’s unfair. And, no, willingly taking abuse because you know you’ll get paid is not at all the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/186 "2012-07-01T03:05:45Z")
> [@Lochdale](#): > > Thanks. So how good or bad are these alternative schools? How should I know? I’m not an alternative school inspector. I’m sure some are good and some are bad. But they are schools and not Maoist brainwashing camps or whatever people were imagining. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/187 "2012-07-01T03:08:07Z")
From all the claims about the quality of public schools, the kids are better off in a Maoist reeducation camp. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/188 "2012-07-01T14:54:59Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > From all the claims about the quality of public schools, the kids are better off in a Maoist reeducation camp. 🙂 Except for the likely dead part. Pretty hard life lesson for these kids. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/189 "2012-07-01T15:05:37Z")
Dying is easy, living is hard. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/190 "2012-07-01T21:15:07Z")
Public schools aren’t all one thing or another. There are great public schools and awful ones, just as there are excellent charter schools and terrible ones. The deciding factors tend to be who’s in charge and how much community/parent support they have. In our (again, giant) school district, we have a variety of alternative schools for varying situations. We do have a high school for pregnant teens/teen mothers, but it’s not mandatory. It just offers more specific support for girls who have some pretty specific needs. A pregnant teen isn’t shunted away from the “regular” high school; it’s offered as a choice. We have an evening school for kids who don’t do well with the traditional school model, a mostly online school for kids who want to mostly learn from home, and two or three alternative schools for kids who just can’t seem to follow the rules in their traditional schools. One of these is along the lines of what I imagine these kids will be attending: a school for kids who have gotten suspended from their regular schools but who haven’t been adjudicated into the juvenile detention center. But we haven’t given ours a cool, _1984_-style name. If these kids are from an affluent area, I’d lay odds that their parents are frantically applying to private schools as we speak. And their kids will learn there that you can’t just act any way you want in a school you have to _apply_ to. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/191 "2012-07-01T21:35:43Z")
Are these kids being suspended from school, or transferred to a different school? ---
**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/192 "2012-07-02T03:36:21Z")
> [@Lochdale](#): > > Except for the likely dead part. > > Pretty hard life lesson for these kids. I doubt they’ll even learn the lesson. One way or another, these entitled little bastards will end up not learning a thing. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/193 "2012-07-02T03:47:35Z")
those miserable worthless little shits make me glad I’m never going to be stupid enough to have kids. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/194 "2012-07-02T11:53:21Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Are these kids being suspended from school, or transferred to a different school? Suspended. They’ll have the option to reapply to attend the Greece School District in 2013. If they choose not to go to private school, the school they’ll likely attend is the Monroe BOCES Alternative Learning Academy. [http://www.monroe.edu/files/1534/ala\_trifold\_nov\_11.pdf](http://www.monroe.edu/files/1534/ala_trifold_nov_11.pdf) ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/195 "2012-07-02T12:32:02Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > Why is that so hard for people to understand? Because she was a 68 year old grandma, and they made her cry. And she exhibited no authority. I love how tough she’s been on these kids in the media, but she wasn’t even going to report the incident to the school authorities, in fact didn’t until people saw the video posted on YouTube. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/196 "2012-07-02T15:27:18Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > My point is that harassing an authority figure is not “bullying”. She was an authority figure. She lost control of the situation, true, but she _is still the authority figure_. Yelling at an authority figure, no matter how off the chain and how vicious the insults, is not “bullying”. She was a person _in authority_. > > Why is that so hard for people to understand? I’m generally with you on this. However, the fact that she lost control, and lost her status as an authority figure, made her subject to bullying. Behavior that should simply have been children harassing an adult can be described as bullying because she lost her status. If you replaced her with one of their peers, you would have had the same type of mocking behavior, and the same type of impact on the victim, and we wouldn’t have a problem calling it bullying. ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/197 "2012-07-02T15:31:53Z")
She should have thrown the little bastards one by one out the rear door when the bus hit 55 mph. But I suppose the police would have searched for something to charge her with. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/198 "2012-07-02T15:49:51Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > A year?! Damn. I didn’t know they could do that. > > That’s draconian; what these kids did was deplorable but > > 1- They are kids > 2- There was no permanent damage > 3- They already suffered from the exposure > > A year is overkill brought about by overexposure. If that video had just been privately circulated I doubt there’d have been more than a wrist slap; this is messing with the rest of their lives- making them graduate a year behind their classmates and all- and could conceivably cause massive financial hardship for their families, all for an afternoon’s bad behavior. > > I’d have been content to just see them beaten with bamboo a bit. I’m guessing this decision will be appealed and reappealed if necessary over the summer and none will actually get a full year’s suspension. They’ll go to an alternative school. They just can’t come back to that one for a year. They’ll get over it. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/199 "2012-07-02T16:19:36Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Even so, I still think it’s overkill and brought about more by the publicity than by the actual offense. There’s worse bullying than that every single day of the school year at many schools across the nation that even if reported result in jack being done about it. That’s an argument for implementing stronger responses at those “many schools across the nation,” not for imposing a weaker punishment in this case. Bullying (and ganging up on someone who is an authority in name only, with no real power to impose disciplinary measures, \*is \*bullying) should warrant severe punishment. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/200 "2012-07-02T17:52:17Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > an authority in name only, with no real power to impose disciplinary measures, \*is \*bullying) Has it been determined that the bus monitor had no real authority and no power to impose disciplinary measures? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854.md?page=11)