# Bullied Grandmother...really? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 21, 2012, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854 "2012-06-21T16:26:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Stately\_Greek\_Automaton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aca169/32.png) [@Stately\_Greek\_Automaton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stately_Greek_Automaton)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/21 "2012-06-22T00:35:30Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > My heart is usually soft for stuff like this, but I agree with the sentiment about this woman being ill-prepared for this job. The jabs were cruel, but she let it escalate to that point. It would be one thing if she were hired to do something besides establish discipline–like teaching. But her sole duty was to lay the proverbial smack down on those brats, and she didn’t even try. The one article I read, it gave her salary at around $15,000. Not a lot of money, but way too much for her to be sitting on her ass staring out of the window. > > I saw that one of the parents has come forward and apologized on behalf of his son. Major kudos to him. I know seeing my parents willingly take on more embarrassment because of my fuckeuppery would have killed me inside, as a kid. Maybe she didn’t have the right skills for dispute resolution, but I guarantee you at $15k per year, the school isn’t looking for that. My guess is that she is solely there to take the bulls-eye off the back of the driver’s head. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/22 "2012-06-22T00:39:26Z")
> [@LaurenIpsum](#): > > I wonder how much power these bus monitors have to actually **do** anything. > > but I’m guessing they don’t have any kind of power (not even verbal) to keep the kids in line. The school probably figures that just having another adult on the bus would help to deter bad behavior. So the kids knew that they could pretty much get away with anything, and took it as far as they thought they could go. The monitor might have figured that if she tried to verbally reprimand the kids, it could lead to complaints against her, so she decided to just keep quiet and take it. Ok, this really makes no sense to me. If this is the case, and I’m not necessarily agreeing that it is, but if it is then _why_ would the school think having a totally powerless adult on the bus would deter bad behavior? _Power_ over the children is the only deterrent that sways their behavior. I again ask what point is there in having a random person on a schoolbus full of merciless middle school kids when this person is truly powerless? ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/23 "2012-06-22T00:44:27Z")
> [@Stately\_Greek\_Automaton](#): > > Maybe she didn’t have the right skills for dispute resolution, but I guarantee you at $15k per year, the school isn’t looking for that. My guess is that she is solely there to take the bulls-eye off the back of the driver’s head. What kind of evil, demonic children are these? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/24 "2012-06-22T00:56:17Z")
Easily distracted ones, I gather. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/25 "2012-06-22T00:58:23Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > What kind of evil, demonic children are these? 7th graders. We made our nun cry one time. Well, I didn’t. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/26 "2012-06-22T01:14:09Z")
I lived on school buses from kindergarten to 10th grade. Two hours a day, with some of the baddest-ass kids in town. We made the kids from Lean on Me look like angels. I mean, the worst fights in my memory happened on those school buses. Girls tearing off each other shirts, baring naked titties…those kind of fights. Fights so awful that just witnessing from the sidelines would make you get PTSD. Who needs to watch WWF on TV when it’s your daily commute? We never fooled with the bus driver though. Why? Because Ms. Nash was the type of person you didn’t fool around with. She was the type who’d snatch you no matter where you were in the bus. You could be sitting all the way in the back and her fat arm would shoot out and grab you by the collar, if she thought you needed it. A bus monitor? All I’m picturing is another version of Ms. Nash except scarier because she wouldn’t have had to keep an eye on the road. I’m not trying to romanticize the past because things were messed-up back then too. But I’m glad we had Ms. Nash to keep us in line. I’m glad I had all those mean-ass teachers back in the day. ---
**Author:** ![LaurenIpsum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@LaurenIpsum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LaurenIpsum)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/27 "2012-06-22T01:27:43Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > We never fooled with the bus driver though. Why? Because Ms. Nash was the type of person you didn’t fool around with. She was the type who’d snatch you no matter where you were in the bus. You could be sitting all the way in the back and her fat arm would shoot out and grab you by the collar, if she thought you needed it. > > A bus monitor? All I’m picturing is another version of Ms. Nash except scarier because she wouldn’t have had to keep an eye on the road. > > I’m not trying to romanticize the past because things were messed-up back then too. But I’m glad we had Ms. Nash to keep us in line. I’m glad I had all those mean-ass teachers back in the day. Unfortunately, I think someone like Ms. Nash today would lose her job as soon as the parents heard that she grabbed someone by the collar. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/28 "2012-06-22T01:31:01Z")
Had the kids been doing this all year, or did the old lady figure they get to be mean and say anything because it’s the last day of school? Could the kids have possibly thought her hearing aids weren’t working or something? I read sometimes she doesn’t even hear the kids. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/29 "2012-06-22T01:42:22Z")
So roughly $200,000? The same amount raised for George Zimmerman? I wonder if it’s the same people. ---
**Author:** ![steviep24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f9b8f/32.png) [@steviep24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steviep24)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/30 "2012-06-22T01:42:49Z")
Rochester, NY chiming in. 🙂 I don’t live in Greece, NY but I am familiar with the area. Much of the town is rather affluent although older sections that border the City of Rochester are more of an inner ring suburb. I’m pretty sure the kids on that bus are precious little snowflakes from one of the more affluent areas. It does seem to me that the bus monitor wasn’t really the right person for the job. She’s there mainly to maintain order on the bus and report unruly kids to school officials. Being the last day of school there may not have been much she could do as far as that goes but she certainly could have spoke up to them. Ultimately the responsibility of the kids on that bus falls on the bus driver and when things got out of hand he/she could have pulled the bus over and contacted officials. Then the school district would have sent someone out to remove certain students from the bus or the driver would have returned to the school. Greece Central is one of the largest non city school districts in New York state and it’s sheer size is part of the problem with the way it is run. Although this incident has gotten national attention most of that happens there is usually kept quiet as a means trying to maintain a good image. The district is rather mis-managed and has had problems with it’s administration in the past including a scandal with their superintendent who was forced to resign. The district still has to pay their former superintendent under contract. The district now has local police investigating this matter. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/31 "2012-06-22T01:52:50Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Of what? > > My dismay is that in the videos this woman is pretty much ignoring these kids behavior, as she explains that much of the time her hearing aids don’t work that well and she can’t hear what they are saying. But then sometimes she does hear them as she begins to cry, but doesn’t do anything to stop their behavior. > > What is her job as the bus monitor? To just ride along? She claims that she was bullied and that these kids parents should do something…well sure, but isn’t that the bus monitors job also? What’s the school district paying her to do? Of course the parents should do something- but from what I can see ,it appears that the woman didn’t even report this incident to the bus company. There’s absolutely no reason to think the parents knew about it until the video went viral - sometimes kids that age who wouldn’t behave that way on their own will join in when someone else starts the behavior. When my son was 10-12, he took a bus to a day camp. There was some misbehavior on the bus and I got the phone call about an hour after he was dropped off. My son didn’t behave that way when I was with him, I don’t think he would have started it , but it’s absolutely possible that he might have followed someone else’s lead. Which doesn’t lessen his responsibility a bit - but does explain why it’s a little unfair to blame parents for doing nothing until they’ve been told of the incident and \*still do nothing \* And if she’s not supposed to address misbehavior in any way- not verbally (it’s amazing how many kids actually will stop misbehaving when someone tells them to stop), or by reporting it to her superiors ,then what exactly is she being paid to do? Stare out the window? ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/32 "2012-06-22T02:07:02Z")
> [@doreen](#): > > And if she’s not supposed to address misbehavior in any way- not verbally (it’s amazing how many kids actually will stop misbehaving when someone tells them to stop), or by reporting it to her superiors ,then what exactly is she being paid to do? Stare out the window? That’s what I’m wondering too. If it’s just to act as a witness in case some shit goes down, well, another student could do that. A bus monitor that keeps discipline and helps the driver, fine. It’s an extravagance, IMHO, but they are serving a purpose. But one that merely sits there? I would hate that job. I think it’s nice people have donated money to her, but in way I feel like she’s being rewarded for not doing her job. What about the bus monitor that keeps her charges in line? Why don’t they get a vacation?\* \*I know. Whiny. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/33 "2012-06-22T03:38:37Z")
Cross another potential job off my retirement list. I’d end up punching the little fuckers and going to prison. I’ve already deleted Wal-Mart greeter: Hello, welcome to polyester hell. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/34 "2012-06-22T03:40:59Z")
What gets me about this issue is all the ‘moral, upstanding’ people saying they hope those 13 year olds get raped by Sandusky, or get murdered, etc. The kids are getting death threats, people hoping they are molested or murdered, etc. Some junior high kids can be conformist sociopaths, and the vast majority of them grow out of it. It sucks and can be a hard time in someone’s life, and I hope adults have figured out how to deal with it better than they did when I was in junior high. But if you read the comments on youtube, it is full of vitriol and \*adults \*threatening murder and rape against 13 year old kids (those kids are 7th graders). It is really fucked up. That bothers me more than the kids themselves, because I expect junior high kids to be monsters. Adults should know better. But yeah, she was totally unprepared for the job. There are tons of unemployed cops sitting around since states are cutting budgets and police forces, I’m sure one of them would be willing to ride on a bus a few hours a day for an extra 15k a year. ---
**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/35 "2012-06-22T03:42:26Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I saw that one of the parents has come forward and apologized on behalf of his son. Major kudos to him. I know seeing my parents willingly take on more embarrassment because of my fuckeuppery would have killed me inside, as a kid. I really doubt these kids _learned_ anything. If they would do this sort of thing, when they’re damn well old enough to know better, I think they might be too far gone. Some people are born both lucky and compassionless, and the luck keeps them from learning the compassion later. I think these kids might be that sort. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/36 "2012-06-22T03:47:22Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > There are tons of unemployed cops sitting around since states are cutting budgets and police forces, I’m sure one of them would be willing to ride on a bus a few hours a day for an extra 15k a year. That’s a tough sell to an unemployed cop IMO. Maybe it’s just me or maybe it’s because my idea of a ‘bus moniter’ has already been ruined by Grandma here but I have a very hard time imagining a cop swallowing his pride and riding along with junior high kids on a bus every day. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/37 "2012-06-22T03:49:01Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > That’s a tough sell to an unemployed cop IMO. Maybe it’s just me or maybe it’s because my idea of a ‘bus moniter’ has already been ruined by Grandma here but I have a very hard time imagining a cop swallowing his pride and riding along with junior high kids on a bus every day. LOL. Maybe. But a cop would know how to deal with that kind of stuff and maintain control of the situation. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/38 "2012-06-22T04:24:16Z")
Taser? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/39 "2012-06-22T04:40:11Z")
If its an LAPD bus batons are the way to go… ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/40 "2012-06-22T04:40:51Z")
I’m a secretary at a middle school, and I’ve had kids call me names or tell me to fuck off. Those kids get written up and punished, just like the kids on that bus should have been - you don’t have to be in a classroom to be held accountable for your behavior. In our (very large) school district, if a child misbehaves on a bus, the driver (we don’t have monitors, although I think they’d be a great idea if we had the budget) brings a behavior referral to the school administration, and the child in question is punished in an appropriate way, usually by detention of some sort. If the offense is bad enough or if the child keeps on misbehaving on the bus, he or she can be kicked off for a certain period of time. If the behavior is really horrible, the child can be banned from the bus permanently after a school district hearing is held. This is a wonderful way to get parents’ attention. However, the first thing that has to happen is _an adult in charge holding the child accountable_. What’s the point of having a bus monitor if she’s just going to sit there without doing any active supervision? You can see the kids escalating, trying to find out just how far they can go, and she’s been teaching them that they can get away with murder. I’m glad she’s getting so much money. I hope she takes it and retires completely, because she obviously lacks the skills required for working with middle-schoolers. If there’s any outrage money left over, maybe the school district could use it to train their transportation employees a little better. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854.md?page=3)